TO feel birthday party pressure

[Moomoomango]

My 6yo has been invited to lots of parties this year - most of which have had entertainers/magicians/skate park parties/indoor skiing parties/bouncy castles/professional discos etc. Last year I brought into it and we had someone come and bring creepy crawlies to his party (what he loves). This year he has asked for a skate party which is £175 not including food which is £5 per head - so another £100 for 20 kids - plus cake, presents etc it's just pushing our budget too far. What happened to the days of a few mates around, party games and a cake?

I'm struggling with the pressure ... I know I shouldn't but I'm really worried!

We live in a small flat so parties at ours are out, but birthday parties seem to be so important amongst his peers.

What would you do? What's a good 6yo cheap party - in November?

£5 per head for food?! Are you tied to the venue's catering or can you provide your own? That would be significantly cheaper!

Could you see if the skate people (or as an alternative, a soft play or similar) could offer a discount for a weekday after school party perhaps?

Or if you can't have kids at home, hire a local village hall/church hall and host old fashioned games and food yourself - I've done this a few times...it's exhausting, but so much fun, and after basic costs of hall hire (£10-15 p/h?) as cheap or as pricey as you choose to make it.

Bouncy castle parties at the local leisure centre seem to be the 6 year old theme here. Ours provide a room afterwards and we just bring our own food. £90 for an hours bounce and hour in the party room for up to 30 kids. Worth a look at your local leisure centre.

Pre Christmas there may be some kind of show on? Then Pizza Hut? I brought my nephew to hairy mclary show recently. It was eight euro and he thought it was "magical". Something like that might be a bit different if it hasn't been done in his peers group and could work out far less costly.

A single mum in our school arranged for a load of kids to go to the £1.00 cinema on a Saturday morning (she had popped her own popcorn at home and put them into sandwich bags). She then gave them a £1.00 to spend on some shite in the £1 shop before doing sandwiches and crisps and a cake in the park playground afterwards. A few of us mums helped our with the logistics. Kids loved it. It was great fun.

She is very creative and very organised and told me she had been saving coins in a jar for a while. Added a box of microwave popcorn and cartons of drinks to her shopping very couple of weeks.

I left but apparently last year she did a pokemon/treasure hunt with maps and clues etc. Another winner by all accounts

Don't have a party! I was like you OP...felt the pressure...thought I HAD to give my DDs a party every year.

You don't.

We now do a party every other year.

It's too expensive.

Or you could invite his closest friends to the cinema and for a small tea or lunch out afterwards.

Or just have a family tea party at home.

No 6 year old MUST have a party you know.

I offered my 7 year old £100 to not have a party last year, snapped my hand off!

To be honest I doubt you'll find many other options cost lost.
We are doing a church hall: £60 for 3 hours
With an entertainer: £150 for 90 minutes
Then doing the food and party bags ourself.
Kids Dj we looked at was £240 for 2 hours
Local leisure centre was £18 per child for trampoline plus games (food was included)
Local sports centre was £13 for multi sports and dances and we supply food.
We are having the whole class (33) so whatever we looked at was around £300.
Have you considered just a couple of best friends for bowling and McDs or a sleepover with pizza or laser tag or cinema, then you are still doing something.

Best party we did was local beauty spot woods
We did a treasure hunt with clues and set it up the night before.

Big bag with food for the kids and drinks. Treats at all the clues and we ran miles. Mud play brook jumping and tree climbing

Hot chocilste at our house after and oven pizzas kids were 6/7 and now 26/7 still say great party

Oh Cost less than £20

No kid needs bowling, entertainer or DJ ffs

My DD is 6 and her party is on Saturday.

£80 in a local leisure centre with 1 hour hall with bouncy castle and 45 minutes in a room. We provide food. DH will go to the chippy and I'll cook sausages & chicken nuggets. Some biscuits and cake and home to a nice clean house!!

I'm dreading this kind of pressure in a few years time when my DD is older. Pressure from my DD herself perhaps, but more so the pressure to try and ensure she has the same kind of Birthdays as others in her class.

I also feel a huge pressure on myself to try and ensure that my DD has the same lovely experiences and opportunities as what I had growing up, or better if at all possible. I just don't envisage though that we'll be able to do that for her, and it really saddens me. My parents earned less than my DH does, but their monthly outgoings were significantly less than ours are, and so they could afford to do so many amazing things for me. We also live in a more affluent and gentrified area than I did when growing up, and so I'm extra worried that other parents may be able to throw lavish affairs compared to what we can offer.

When I was a little girl, my parents would hire a hall and a magician or entertainer every year for me, as well as providing food, a beautiful birthday cake and doggy bags laden with all manner of goodies.

They also used to buy me a lovely party outfit, and a separate outfit for a family Birthday party at home - complete with lots of presents, lovely food and cake.

When I was a little bit older, some of my friends stopped having parties like mine, but were inviting around 10 friends to a meal in a restaurant. I went to a few of these parties, and I had a great time, and when my parents offered to do the same for my next Birthday, of course I said yes - I was worried that the parties I used to have and love would look babyish. We would have three courses, as many soft drinks as we wanted, and there would also be a cake - usually restaurant made at the parties.

I don't usually feel pressure to fit in, or to conform or keep up with others, but when I think of my DD, I just want to do everything I can for her, and hate that I don't think we could stretch to her having the same experiences as what I had when growing up.

I must say thank you to previous posters for some excellent party ideas and sample prices involved - you have cheered me up and made me feel more hopeful

I'm caving. Whole class.

Hall £50
Entertainment £110
Decor/gift bags £30
Food £40
Cake £20

No presents. Bar a 2nd hand one already bought for £10 of eBay

Previously done days out but I don't drive and theme park plus train plus gifts costs similar in the end

However I did notice pizza express do a make your own pizza much cheaper if we had less guests. I'm going to try and steer that way for next year

No need to invite 20+ kids: take them to the cinema and then macdonalds or home for pizza.

Remember the amount of money spent does not positively correlate with how good a time the kids have or how popular they are.

We are spending about £200 on DD's 6th birthday party this year. However it's important to her to have a party and therefore important to us. I feel it's pretty good value for entertaining around 30 kids. There is really such a small window when they want large parties and I do enjoy organising them.

However, if you don't enjoy doing them or DD isn't that fussed or you just can't afford it (although it can be done cheaply with enough time and planning) I'm sure there'll be no judgement - DD is inviting 30 but has probably been to 8 or 10 parties in the last year so clearly not everyone has a a party - and I honestly couldn't tell you who did and didn't.

Don't get drawn into the.competitive element. "Big" parties - as opposed to sleepovers or a cinema trip for 5 or so mates - only have another couple of years to run IME.

My DD's favourite party ever was a traditional tea party held at her best male friend's house when they were 6. It was her, the birthday boy and two other children....cakes, jellies, sandwiches, pass the parcel and then playing with his toys!

She's 9 nearly 10 and still remembers and talks about that party. This is a child who'se been to all the Build a Bear and magician packed parties ever.

Why does he need such a big party? Are all these children his good mates? Get him to list his top 7 or 9 friends and take them bowling or for a treasure hunt or enroll them into a skate lesson.

Or ask him to decide between a big gift from yourself with a birthday tea and no big gift with an expensive party instead

The best parties are always the ones just with close friends. Your kid doesn't need random additional classmates to celebrate.

November birthday here too, so could never plan anything outdoors.

One year we hired the village hall (£20), used the little kitchen to cook hotdogs for 30 kids (£15), a few sweets and squash, and a load of party games. Didn't do party bags but bought some cheap little books from Bookpeople (50p each) which we gave out at the end of the party.

The other thing we've done a couple of times is share a party with a good friend who had a birthday around the same time - if they're in the same class the chances are they'll be inviting the same kids anyway, so it's a great way of paying half as much as you would have otherwise.

Have it at a time when food is not required e.g. First thin in the morning or even better in the evening.

My DD is 7 and if she wants a party then that party is her present from me, that's how we do it. I get her one or two small things to open on her birthday but I make it clear to her that the party is my gift to her This year we did a princess afternoon tea with 8 of her friends at a local boutique hotel which she loved.
Her party guests all bring a little gift so she still had plenty of presents to open

Sorry to add - her parties usually cost £100-150 max... which is what I would hsbf likely spent on her for gifts anyway.

We've got a beginning of December birthday here, 7 this year and for the past 3 years we've done big parties. I don't mind as such but we're moving soon and need all the money we've got.

This year we've hired the village hall for 3 hrs (£60) and then I've told ds he can invite 12 friends and I'm doing a lego party. So just lots of lego related challenges and lots of party games. All very low key and no cost involved. Few pizzas and cake for tea and a cheap party bag with a few small bits I have knocking around at home. I only need to get some balloons and pass the parcel present. Food gradually with my weekly shopping and put in freezer.

I actually realised though that my 7yo is my youngest and I haven't actually done a party where I get to do pass the parcel / musical chairs etc - I'm glad I'm doing this now so at least I've done it once!

Definitely less children. Mine always have a party if they want one but numbers are limited. So 12-15 children, less than half a class usually. I have never done a whole class party and the only ones we've been too like that we're the hire a hall type where the cost of more children isn't that much.

But don't think they're all having parties because they're not.

Does he have any friends with birthdays around the same time? Last year we did a big party for dd with 2 of her friends & split the cost 3 ways. Or; how would it work out to take just a few friends to skate park & then to a fast food place after?