TO feel birthday party pressure

[Moomoomango]

My 6yo has been invited to lots of parties this year - most of which have had entertainers/magicians/skate park parties/indoor skiing parties/bouncy castles/professional discos etc. Last year I brought into it and we had someone come and bring creepy crawlies to his party (what he loves). This year he has asked for a skate party which is £175 not including food which is £5 per head - so another £100 for 20 kids - plus cake, presents etc it's just pushing our budget too far. What happened to the days of a few mates around, party games and a cake?

I'm struggling with the pressure ... I know I shouldn't but I'm really worried!

We live in a small flat so parties at ours are out, but birthday parties seem to be so important amongst his peers.

What would you do? What's a good 6yo cheap party - in November?

My DS wants a climbing wall party but it's 200 for 12 plus 60 for food. Add party bags and cost of making a cake and you're near 300, and that's before the "main present" has been bought!

My DH said no, even though probably we could just about afford it, on the grounds that spending 350-400 on a six yr olds birthday is a bit obscene.

.... so instead he is taking 6 friends to the regular climbing wall club on a Saturday (£60) followed by birthday tea and cake back at ours.

offered my 7 year old £100 to not have a party last year, snapped my hand off!

So true ! And when they get older you can have smaller sleepover type affairs too

And not everyone has these mega parties either they either can't afford , in won't get pulled into it

Last year my son had 3 friends home after school for pizza and birthday cake. I laid a treasure hunt for them round the house and garden and the treasure was some home made sweet cones to take home. More a birthday tea than a party but my introvert child loved it and wants the same again.

We did the big 20 kids party once and that was enough. After about year 2 it's easier to just pick a couple of close friends to celebrate with.

We're lucky our school backs onto a huge playground. We did Friday straight after school, we decorated one of the covered picnic tables with streamers and did bowls of crisps, veggie sticks, strawberries, choc crackles and fairy bread plus a cake. No need for party games as plenty of play equipment.
All the kids ran straight to the park from class, he could invite however many he wanted and everything went straight in the bin afterwards, no mess!

We never did the "big" parties.

When they were little we did picnics at the park.

fishing at the village river. (bit of ham hooked on a paperclip, which was tied to a piece of string, which in turn was tied to a stick the kids had to find.) again with a picnic.

Clue hunts. Looking for signs of animals and creepy crawlies in the woods by the park.

Kids were happy as Larry.

Had a birthday tea at home where DS chose what to eat.

DS is an only. I don't have the energy or inclination to have loads of DCs in the house or out to the park and entertain them whilst also making all the food. We can afford the party costs so I'd rather do that. Should I not and put in all the effort instead just in case someone feels bad because of it ?

Ironically DS would have loved a party at home and always wanted a pirate the,ed hunt in the woods like he went to at a friends once.

The pressure is self generated. DCs love parties regardless of where they are and how much they cost.

I guess the skate party is one where it will cost you the same however many people you have coming so you can't economise there unfortunately.

So my tips would be. Have it from 2 - 4, nowhere near a mealtime at either end. Don't have the food. Give them birthday cake instead. If you do party bags, fill them with a mars bar (heavy) and crisps (big), and a couple of other sweeties, all much cheaper than the usual plastic tat so they leave with a bulging bag but it's all edible and hasn't cost you as much as a small bag of toys. (Flumps are very cheap and also big too.)

Some friends of DC3's never had food at their parties and it was always fine. No one complained, we all just wished we had done that!

I understand the pressure. One year every time I confirmed my eldest son's party someone else sent an invitation for that date to the point where it happened about 4 times and his party date was getting further and further away from his birthday.

In the end he had 10 boys back to our house after school, they played football in the garden, ate fishfingers and chips and their body weight in sweets, I gave them all a £1 football as a going home present and voila still remembered as the best party ever and talked about to this day. I think it was his 7th birthday and he's 15 now