Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Health Visitor and potentially not being there??

35 replies

minniemummy0 · 05/09/2017 19:30

Hi

So I've just had a letter saying health visitor will be coming next week. I have no problem with this and don't mind!

The only problem is I am living half the time and my parents house and half the time at my fiancé's house. I have baby stuff at both. I'm registered at the hospital, doctors etc at my parents and consider that my home, nothing is in my name at my fiancé's house. He (and I) work in my town and I am at my parents most of the time now I am on mat leave.

However he does have a nursery set up, and whilst he is on paternity leave I will be staying with him for at least the first two weeks. When he goes back to work I will be with my Mum and Dad at their house, I have a cot etc in my own bedroom but not a separate nursery as there is no extra room.

We hope to move in together in the next few months; he and I both work in the same town I live so we will be moving to the same area as my Mum and Dad.

I'm just worried now the health visitor will turn up at my parents house in the first couple of weeks when he is on paternity and I am at his house? And so I won't be there? Do you think I should tell th HV this whole situation? I realise it's a bit of a weird one and I don't know what they'll make of it!

OP posts:
FadedRed · 05/09/2017 19:35

Are both addresses in the same town, Op, or relatively close by? It shouldn't be a problem unless there is a long distance between them.
Just ensure the the HV knows which address you will be at, or ask her to phone you before the visits to check.

Original poster
minniemummy0 · 05/09/2017 19:40

They are in towns close to each other but different NHS trusts which is what bothers me!

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 05/09/2017 19:42

Just tell them the set up. They'll have seen much stranger home situations. Will you be going straight to your finances house after the baby is born? If so you'd need to let the midwives know as they do the initial visits to weigh the baby and check on you.

Original poster
minniemummy0 · 05/09/2017 19:42

If they were able to call me before coming round with like an hours notice there would be no problem as it only take some 20 mins ish to get from one house to the other so I can easily go so they don't have to go out of their way.

OP posts:
Maplestaple · 05/09/2017 19:45

They don't call they just turn up on the days after you've had your baby. Can he not stay at your parents for the first week or so?

redcaryellowcar · 05/09/2017 19:48

I would call them, it's not necessarily a problem, I think their primary agenda is to ensure baby is safe and healthy, so might be an option for you to take baby to meet them in clinic for weighing etc?

Original poster
minniemummy0 · 05/09/2017 19:49

It would be quite crowded :/ Ugh don't know what to do for the best now. I really want to spend that short time bonding as a three, not changing our whole plans just because of a HV visit. I literally hadn't thought/ known about HVs until I got that letter today, no one has mentioned it to me before so didn't even know they did home visits so didn't know this was a potential problem!

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 05/09/2017 19:53

Call them and tell them you'll be living at your finance's house after the baby is born and see what they say, the same for the midwife. I had just moved house when heavily pregnant and my baby was early so didn't register with new GP in time- I know it's a different situation but the midwife and HV from my new area attended. The hospital let them know before I left.

MimsyFluff · 05/09/2017 19:53

You don't have to see the HV.

NerrSnerr · 05/09/2017 19:56

Mimsy of course you don't, but in our area they do the initial hearing tests and some people do like to ensure the baby is gaining weight etc, especially when establishing feeding.

Original poster
minniemummy0 · 05/09/2017 19:58

Just to be clear I have no problem seeing the HV and in fact as a new first time Mum would quite like it, just the logistics that's stressing me out!

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 05/09/2017 20:01

It'll be fine- just tell them. They'll either make the journey or get someone else to do it. They will have seen much stranger family setups!

HopefullyAnonymous · 05/09/2017 20:02

How will the midwife visit you at your partners if under a different NHS trust?

Original poster
minniemummy0 · 05/09/2017 20:04

HopefullyAnonymous - good question. I have no idea of the answer as I had no idea they visited you at home! Obviously I'm naive as a first time Mother, but no one has mentioned being visited at home by the midwife to me before and I'm practically full term!

OP posts:
JackietheBackie · 05/09/2017 20:05

Just make sure you let the midwives know when you are being discharged where you are going to be. They will contact the Tryst that covers the address so you won't miss out on your early visits. The HV are usually a different team, but them know too. It isn't that uncommon for people to stay with family after having a baby.

followTheyellowbrickRoad · 05/09/2017 20:08

Here the midwifes visit daily until 10 days then hand over to the health visitor

Lenl · 05/09/2017 20:10

Midwives come the day after you are discharged and a few more visits. In my area they tell you the day but not the time. So make sure they'll know where you'll be. I wouldn't be driving across towns to get to a different address you've no idea now you'll be feeling. The first few days botht times I just wanted to be at home. I wouldn't overly worry as long as they know where you are. The first HV appointment you should get a time and it will be at around 10 days.

redcaryellowcar · 05/09/2017 20:15

Don't be stressed about it, call them and work out a plan. It will be fine. They are lovely people (or the ones I met were).

BabsGanoush · 05/09/2017 20:15

Please ring your HV and just ask her to ring before attending any appointments to confirm which address you are at. It doesn't have to be complicated. It saves them being late for their next appt where the baby/mum may be desperate their

Maryof1993 · 05/09/2017 20:16

Did the HV not leave contact details in the letter so you can contact them? If not, its their own fault if you're not in

chewiecat · 05/09/2017 20:19

I would be more concerned about midwives visits as they visited us at home after birth. No warning , just turned up. Think they expect you to be at home, fair enough as I didn't really get out of the house much in the first ten days.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 05/09/2017 20:20

Just tell them. Don't be changing your plans because of one possible HV visit, that's mad. You're not the first, nor the last, person to be living between two addresses or not going to their primary residence after they've had their baby. Don't stress about it. If it's not convenient for you/them you can go to a drop in HV clinic anyway.

123bananas · 05/09/2017 20:22

I lived out of my trusts area when dd1 was born. A midwife from my local trust and a hv visited me instead. It was all arranged by my hospital midwife team. Speak to them OP.

jellyandsoup · 05/09/2017 20:28

It will be fine, just let them know before you leave hospital what address you are going back to after the birth of baby and they will sort out the rest. Have known of people going accross the country before now and that was all fine too. This is not that uncommon, especially with younger mums, who often go to parents houses.

LooksBetterWithAFilter · 05/09/2017 20:36

I would speak to your community midwife now and explain to her. The midwife comes out for the first 10 days after the birth the hand over to the HV. You'll need to ask them what will happen because they may need to arrange visits from the other trust for you. If it's only 20 minutes they may just do it themselves.