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AIBU?

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Original poster

Health Visitor and potentially not being there??

35 replies

minniemummy0 · 05/09/2017 19:30

Hi

So I've just had a letter saying health visitor will be coming next week. I have no problem with this and don't mind!

The only problem is I am living half the time and my parents house and half the time at my fiancé's house. I have baby stuff at both. I'm registered at the hospital, doctors etc at my parents and consider that my home, nothing is in my name at my fiancé's house. He (and I) work in my town and I am at my parents most of the time now I am on mat leave.

However he does have a nursery set up, and whilst he is on paternity leave I will be staying with him for at least the first two weeks. When he goes back to work I will be with my Mum and Dad at their house, I have a cot etc in my own bedroom but not a separate nursery as there is no extra room.

We hope to move in together in the next few months; he and I both work in the same town I live so we will be moving to the same area as my Mum and Dad.

I'm just worried now the health visitor will turn up at my parents house in the first couple of weeks when he is on paternity and I am at his house? And so I won't be there? Do you think I should tell th HV this whole situation? I realise it's a bit of a weird one and I don't know what they'll make of it!

OP posts:
Original poster
minniemummy0 · 05/09/2017 20:42

Thank you for the advice everyone. I will let the HV know when I meet them next week and I will speak to the midwife about it a true my next appointment. I'm glad I found out about these home visits now as I seriously didn't have a clue!

OP posts:
Original poster
minniemummy0 · 05/09/2017 20:42

*at my next appointment

OP posts:
tamepanda · 05/09/2017 20:42

Just tell the midwives when you are being discharged from hospital the address you will be staying at. When you receive a letter or phone call from your HV to arrange your first visit just tell her where you'll be. Generally they send a letter to arrange future appointments, just phone and tell the HV a few days before your appointment where you will be staying so they know which address to come to for the appointment.

There's nothing to worry about!

When I had my DD in Jan I had to go to the mainland (we live on an island) to give birth and stayed with the in-laws for three weeks afterwards as the weather was to bad to get the ferry home. So I saw mainland midwives and then had a few visits from the HV on the mainland before we came home to our house! Then because I was travelling between the mainland and our home during the first 2 months I would just phone to let our HV if we weren't going to be home and arrange to have the visit at another time or day when I would be at our house.

Like others have said you won't be the only one with unusual living arrangements!

seven201 · 05/09/2017 20:57

It's not just the hv, it will affect the midwife too. I wasn't discharged from the midwife until dd was a few weeks old as she lost a lot of weight. The first visit, day after we got home I think, she just turned up. After then she'd give us notice but wouldn't specify a time. It was the same when handed over to the health visitor. You need to speak to you midwife at your next appointment and call the hv and get this sorted out. They won't be worried about your baby living in two places; they'll just need to work out how to visit you! You've said you could drive to your parent's if they give you enough notice. They'll probably just agree to call you in the morning or something. No need to worry, but you must communicate with them.

SlB09 · 05/09/2017 22:07

Ring and explain and they will agree a plan with you. With all due respect they are so busy that there is no way you could expect them to ring beforehand plus they need to organise whos going to see you if your out of their area. Its important you and babes are seen though by midwife the day after discharge and a few days later for some important health checks, and then the HV will take over. They are all there for you andas others have said will have come accross way more complicated situations im sure!! Good luck

Ummmmgogo · 05/09/2017 22:15

this happens so often that my midwife asked me if I was going home or you g to stay with family when they were discharging me from the hospital. just tell them.

tealandteal · 05/09/2017 22:18

Both the hv and midwife called me and said I will be there on x day at around 11-12, will you be in? Just ask them to do this and explain where you will be. We saw midwife on day 1,3,5 & 10, only one home visit. The rest of the time we went in so I think it depends on your local trust

GoodMorning1 · 05/09/2017 22:29

The Midwife visits in the first ten days are the really important ones (although HV visits are useful too). During home visits my Midwife picked on my baby not gaining weight properly in the first week, and on me having an infection in the second week. Just make sure they know where you are.

TheEdgeOfGlory266 · 05/09/2017 22:34

Do people have MW's and HV's just turn up? When I had DS I was always informed of a day and a rough time. What if you're not in? 😕
I'm moving to a different town close to where I live soon, but it's a different county and region. I hope they don't do this where I'm going.

I'm sure they will have come across this situation may times OP it's not too unusual. Good luck with everything.

gttia · 05/09/2017 22:40

I work in health visiting - just tell them and be sure to give the address on discharge from hospital that you'll be at, but it's nothing that can't be sorted with a phone call if you do change addresses.
Wouldn't be a problem for us

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