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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that calling your friend's kids ugly is not normal?

36 replies

Onionpeeler · 05/09/2017 14:29

I was recently involved in a conversation with a group of old friends who started talking about another friend's children, looking at their photos on Facebook and calling them ugly. I was so shocked. Is this normal?!

OP posts:
LespritDescalier · 05/09/2017 14:31

Maybe. Were they ugly?

Letstryagainshallwe · 05/09/2017 14:31

I don't know if it's normal but I have a family member who does this.

LespritDescalier · 05/09/2017 14:31

Joke.

Isetan · 05/09/2017 14:35

Some people are ok broadcasting their unpleasantness but you don't have to hang around to pick up the transmission.

DiscoDiva70 · 05/09/2017 14:36

How can it be normal? It's bitchy.

ambereeree · 05/09/2017 14:36

My MIL does this. I stop the conversation hoping she'll get the hint.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 05/09/2017 14:47

I know a couple of people who did this. I laughed along because I didn't really know what else to do but it made me uncomfortable and it made me look at the instigator in a very different light. I don't see her anymore.

I'd say more mature adults wouldn't do it but then I had a friend who I always thought of as a 'proper grown up' and mature and together who made a comment saying a friends child was fat, in quite a nasty way.

Basically, from what I have learned in trying to study how others behave (I have aspergers) is that everyone has sides to them, they will show different sides depending on who they are with.

misshelena · 05/09/2017 14:53

Normal, yes. But you don't have to participate obviously.

Branleuse · 05/09/2017 14:56

I would be really REALLY unimpressed if I heard a friend insulting someone elses children like that.

Whinesalot · 05/09/2017 14:57

I think it's normal to think it sometimes but pretty damm rude to voice it.

MadamMinacious · 05/09/2017 15:10

Wow, people just suck don't they?

I hate the word ugly to describe someone it's just unkind and all it means is they are not to your taste. I think people calling children ugly say a lot more about themselves. I would have to say something and I don't think I'd continue chatting. I really, really don't like nasty comments about appearance.

Campingnovice · 05/09/2017 15:12

Absolutely disgusting behaviour.

BabsGanoush · 05/09/2017 15:13

My DM referred to some children as plain.

Maudlinmaud · 05/09/2017 15:15

Jesus no that is beyond horrible.

CoraPirbright · 05/09/2017 15:17

What a horrible thing to say!! I might and do think it privately as such a thought might pop unbidden into my head. Everyone has their opinions, after all. However, it would resolutely stay inside my head - to say it is bitchy, nasty and totally unnecessary. Says more about the person saying it imo.

dollydaydream114 · 05/09/2017 15:26

I don't think my friends would do that.

A former colleague of mine had a baby a few years back who I have to say was ... unusual-looking. He was cute of course, all babies are, but I've genuinely never seen a baby with a default expression that looked so unbelievably angry. Nobody said anything until a few of us were quite drunk and someone did raise this but nobody said the word 'ugly' and everyone agreed it was comical in a cute way. He was a beauty once he was past his newborn phase, too.

That is the nearest thing I can think of to what you describe and it wasn't meant in a horrible way at all. I've never heard any of my friends genuinely mock or deride any child's appearance or describe a kid as ugly, ever.

coddiwomple · 05/09/2017 15:28

totally normal to think it, but you normally only say it to your DH or very close friends. As a group, it's a bit much.

Benedikte2 · 05/09/2017 15:49

Physical beauty is altogether subjective and thank heavens parents aren't repealed by the appearance of their DC or the human race would not have survived. Those who describe others' children as ugly should be aware their own children may be regarded as ugly by others, that a gorgeous young chil may grow up to be an unattractive adult and vice versa and that the very elderly are seldom conventionally good looking. Having said that, I can't recall anyone every saying a child was ugly, funny looking, perhaps.

DrHorribletookmycherry · 05/09/2017 15:52

I'd struggle to not show my revulsion to the attitude of the speaker.

Summercat · 05/09/2017 15:53

No not normal, and not nice.

They wouldn't be a friend of mine for long!

mrsRosaPimento · 05/09/2017 15:55

Someone I'm friends with is really pretty. Her children take after their father. They are ugly. They are. I've told dh how I judge their looks but no one else ever. Looks are so subjective anyway. It's my opinion, it doesn't make it truth. I would never tell anyone apart from dh, because I'm ashamed of myself really.

BenLui · 05/09/2017 15:55

Yes, it is fairly unpleasant behaviour.

Just how unpleasant might depend on the context of the conversation.

ChicRock · 05/09/2017 15:58

You might think it, you might even voice it to your best friend or DH...

But a group of women sitting together, flicking through photos on Facebook to find pictures of these children to discuss how ugly they are?

Bunch of cunts.

ChelleDawg2020 · 05/09/2017 16:00

I find the "pot / kettle" comment a good comeback.

Original poster
Onionpeeler · 05/09/2017 18:34

Thanks everyone. They're not best friends. There's a ring leader and all the others almost join to be part of it for some reason. Weird.

OP posts:
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