Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to give updates all the time..

57 replies

Jasmin40 · 05/09/2017 13:18

I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant but have been told I will be induced at around 38 weeks due to a number of different factors. My OH and I moved out of our family homes together 2 weeks ago into our own house ready for babies arrival.
However, my MIL messages me almost every hour it may seem asking for updates on the baby, what I'm doing, about our house, etc. Messages will start off early in the morning with a 'How did you sleep?' I often have appointments during the week and am being monitored by a consultant so there will be a text soon after reading 'When is your appointment?' Then after the appt it will be "How did it go?" Then maybe a few hours after that it will be a "What are you up to?" And my personal favourite pretty much every night at around 9pm "Any signs of baby yet?"
The texts vary in subject and frequency (minimum of around 5 a day) but AIBU to have started feeling really frustrated about having to give an hour by hour account of my day every day through text? And if I don't reply in 30 minutes, she will message my OH the exact same thing. Or if she's not happy with my response, she will message my OH letting him know what we are discussing and her views/worries on it (e.g. I told her I was scheduled for a sweep soon a few days ago, she messaged my OH to say it's a bad idea).
I know her heart is in the right place but I'm starting to get frustrated with my phone going off every hour and am also going to find this hard to keep up with once LO is here. AIBU? If I'm not, how should I go about asking for it to be reduced slightly without hurting her feelings as overall she is a lovely lady and I'm pleased she is interested, I just want it to tone down a bit?

OP posts:
StarlitTrees · 05/09/2017 15:50

I think you're taking the right approach OP.
Although I would say that if it continues, instead of getting your DP to say something, you should say something yourself.
If you don't want to say anything face to face, fine. But I do feel it would be better for your relationship with MIL going forward for you to at least send a little polite text yourself.
Imagine being in her shoes. She may not realise how OTT she's being, and believes she's showing you she cares, even if it is a bit much at the minute. And if your husband says "oh Jasmin thinks x, y,z..." then he could misrepresent you and she could be left feeling disappointed you couldn't just tell her yourself. From what you've said she's not a bad person and would probably feel awful to know she's annoying you.

StarlitTrees · 05/09/2017 15:51

InvisibleKittenAttack has hit the nail on the head I think.
Polite but firm and keeping it light.

Purplepicnic · 05/09/2017 16:03

Yep, wean her off. Friendly but bland answers. Only reply to every other one or two. Prempt in the mornings and evenings.

FurryScoob · 05/09/2017 16:09

I left DP to answer texts from his DM. After a few days of hourly texts asking 'any sign of the baby yet?' he started sending back sarcastic replies like ' OMG good job you asked, it fell out half an hour ago & we hadn't noticed' she got the message & cut the messages down to once a day. She's been lovely ever since, even provided meals on wheels for us for the first few sleep deprived days.

Violetparis · 05/09/2017 16:11

Could you also say you're not looking at your phone as much as you are weaning yourself off it in preparation for when the baby is here and you won't have time to message/use internet as much ?

schoolgaterebel · 05/09/2017 16:36

'Dear MIL
I really love how supportive you are of us and the pregnancy, but I'm really not one for texting often.

Im sure you'll understand I've been really busy settling in and getting ready for baby and also taking time to rest as much as I can so I won't be available to give several updates via text each day.

Believe me you will be the first to know if anything significant happens as you will always be one of the most important people in our / our baby's life. I'll probably only manage a quick chat once a day to keep you updated if that's ok.

Love
Jasmine'

2rebecca · 05/09/2017 18:20

I didn't have this problem with my kids as largely pre mobile phones and internet. My brother had his kids later and for his last one sent everyone in the family an email (I presume intended for someone in particular but sending it to all made it less pointed) asking people not to contact them for updates and that they would let everyone know when the baby arrived.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread