AIBU to ask you how things would be different if men had periods?

[Macncheesewithbacon]

DD12 started her periods last week.

It's been a roller coaster of emotions. To perk her up DH and I started talking about what the world would be like if men had periods. 5 days paid leave every month, free sanitary wear etc - it goes without saying but DD's fav was the suggestion that they'd be showing off about it "look at the girth of my tampon, I'm so manly" or "You should see my flow rate" etc. and DH's invention - "the sanitary towel tool belt" to be worn for 1 week out of 4, showing off how manly you are and offering a wide selection of towels and tampons for any eventuality.

Any other predication of how the weaker sex would cope/react to being on the blob (sorry couldn't resist)?

It'd be a scene of heavy competition, possibly measured, possibly even waved around.

"Proper flood mate, proper. Look at this innit." Waves MANCUP around. "Seventeen litres brah. SEVENTEEN. Day four as well." chestbumps

Tampons would come in black and red packaging and called things like 'SUPERMEGA TURBO CHARGED ABSORBANCY SWORDS' and come with free Yorkies.

Rugby player and stag night types would get lashed then drop their pants and make themselves sneeze/cough to see who could shoot out their tampon

No marketing campaign would be based on quiet packaging and discreet products.

There'd be none of that.

Birth control would be perfect within side effects

That meant to say no side effects

This just made me laugh, thank you all.

Women would have to soak and wash the blood stained sheets every day because you know, manly men being manly can't help the bloody mess - now stop whinging and get the laundry done

There would be none of this 'mild discomfort' bullshit. It'd be all, this hurts like a bastard but it's ok, we actually figured out how to fix it.

They'd also be believed when they said they were in so much pain they were going to puke instead of barfing all over their exam papers. Not bitter about that at all no.

Following on from Billywig
Days off for womenstruating.

Monthly 'period shits' would become the MARK OF MASCULINITY and MegaBantz would follow........ hahahah fart-parp horrible stink aren't I a LEGEND

Very strong painkillers that worked in 30 seconds with no side effects at all....that would be bliss.....

If they turned up at A&E with excruciating period pains, they would immediately be admitted and given the strongest painkillers possible

I think we can assume that 5 -7 days off paid leave would be the norm, goes without saying really.

There would be proper pain meds as men couldn't cope with period cramps. They'd be curled a ball thinking the end was nigh which I actually thought many times

@minoandolphin

"ABSORBANCY SWORDS"

Loos - they'd have more of them because obviously they'd need more time in them when they were on, and there would be enough room for the disposal bins which would always be emptied often enough.

soubriquet they'd be offered morphine. DP got that for a urine infection.

There'd be no tampon tax as the Absorbancy Swords would be a necessity to keep men in the workplace to keep the world turning seamlessly.

I think the OP already established they'd be free. But if that was just 'basics', then obv the super swords etc would be untaxed and there would be lots of BOGOF deals so the blokes would buy a trolleyload at once

soubriquet they'd be offered morphine. DP got that for a urine infection.

Paid leave for up to a week a month.

Used tampon waving.

Clot size competitions.

Sex would be put on prescription to help ease the pain and release endorphins - women would have to deal with the mess afterwards.

Free sanitary wear and painkillers.

It'd be boasted about to use anything 'super plus,' or with the thickness of a mattress or the extra long night time towels.

Tampons would be carried around in a Rambo-esque bullet belt. Maybe one across each shoulder.

There would be a gadget designed for inserting them, probably like a gun.

If men had periods the Cold War would have ended in a nuclear Armageddon. Icon was a bit mad at the best of times, just imagine what he would have been like with PMS.

Absorbancy swords wins