First time poster, long term lurker. For background I've been with my DP for 7 years and I have a DS10 and DS 9 months.
I've suffered over the years on/off with depression. When things have gotten too much I normally self harm by way of shaving my hair off aka a Britney Spears. It's always been my release and no real harm done. I had a real bad pregnancy mental health wise with the baby which resulted in me having a crisis team visit me 3-4 times per week. I was induced 2 weeks early before Xmas so that my DP would have longer at home with us, using his Xmas leave plus paternity. He ended up being at home with me for 5 weeks which was amazing as I really needed the support.
I am currently breastfeeding and my baby still wakes up every 2-3 hours for a feed so as such I've not slept more than 3 hours at a time in 9 months. I've found having another baby extremely difficult, especially having left it so long between both kids. My GP has diagnosed me with PND and prescribed me 100mg sertraline.
Over the last few weeks myself and my DP have been arguing a lot. I've been extremely tired, it's the end of the summer holidays so had enough of entertaining DS10 too. Been in no real routine. All this has resulted in me feeling totally overwhelmed and after a huge row on Saturday with DP I'd convinced myself that nobody loved me and I was the worst person in the world. I totally snapped and ran out the house at 5pm. In my frenzied, paranoid state I took an overdose of pills and lots of alcohol with the intention of committing suicide.
The police found me and I was placed under their care under a section 136. I was taken to A&E for medical treatment and the police stayed with me until this morning when the medical treatment had ended. They then transferred me to a 136 suite for an assessment by a doctor and social worker. They deemed that I was safe enough to go home and have the crisis team visit me. They did this on the understanding that I would have lots of support at home from DP.
Ahhh sorry it's so long! I was discharged at 6.30 and been home since 7. Nothing has been mentioned as eldest was still awake. He then went to bed at 9pm as has school in the morning. Now my AIBU is that my normally supportive partner has just fell asleep on the couch, snoring his head off and not tried to talk to me about what has happened. I'm a little shocked and confused especially since I've never tried to attempt suicide before. I didn't know what to expect, but thought at the very least he might of given me a hug. AIBU to feel angry and hurt that he has just fallen asleep? I really feel like he doesn't care and maybe I'm best off being back in hospital. For information the crisis team are visiting me tomorrow at 10am