AIBU saying nothing can be done re:breastfeeding?

[Teabagtits]

I'm breastfeeding my 3month old baby. For the entire time it has been excruciatingly painful. I've had and been treated for mastitis, thrush a few times (baby treated too), staphylococcus aureus infection, cracked nipples, shallow latch (resolved as baby got bigger) and baby had tongue tie snipped at three weeks. I was eventually diagnosed as having raynauds of the nipple with vasospasms and prescribed nifedipine for two weeks with self help heat based measures.

I've just completed my first day off the nifedipine and the pain has returned as bad as ever and now I have a new pain, a very sharp throbbing and stabbing behind my nipple with no discernible triggers (i.e. Happens between feeds not before, during or immediately after). I was discharged from the bfing clinic only today as they say they've done everything they can and that nifedipine is only a short term solution and that most people find the raynauds clears up or becomes manageable after a 2week course.

I've been to my GP, I've had help from midwives, health visitors, peer supporters, lactation consultants and the top line (or end of the line) breast feeding clinic and still there is pain.

I have a connective tissue disorder and no one can tell me whether it could be this causing the breast pain and there's nothing I can find online discussing this. I'm at my wits end and really feel there's nothing can be done to help fix the problem. Paracetamol and ibuprofen don't work. It's not related to let down or filling up of breasts (that's a prickly feeling)

This is my last ditch attempt at trying to resolve the issue before giving up breastfeeding entirely and relying on formula. Does anyone have any clues as to what could cause this pain and how to if not get rid of it completely to make it less dominant? I really don't want to give up having come this far.

This sounds so similar to my story. I had vasospasms/raynauds and it was December so leaving the house was excruciatingly painful. It passed as the baby got bigger and the lath improved I think, by the time he got to around 4 months it wasn't painful. I used to cry with every feed before that and take painkillers around the clock.

I am now expecting #2 and planning to breastfeed again, even though I am completely torn as I know it has a terrible effect on my mental health and my ability to bond with the baby.

No advice to offer I'm afraid, apart from it may well pass quite soon as the baby's little mouth grows and you are not alone!

To clarify, the sharp stabbing pain you describe sounds very similar to the pain I experienced with vasospasms- they happened out of the blue, not necessarily connected with when the last feed was or how full my breasts were. Cold and changes in temperature were a trigger.

Has anyone considered mammillary constriction syndrome? It has some research behind it and as it is soft tissue related it could well present differently with a connective tissue disorder. I have known a woman with elhers danlos have it particularly badly.

Hope you can get answers x

All I read was your first paragraph and I have no idea why you continue breastfeeding through that. You're a warrior.

I have been breastfeeding for over 3 years, but luckily for me its been pain free. I wouldn't have lasted a week in your circumstances.

The fact that you want to continue is amazing, though if your last ditch attempt doesn't work, please don't ever feel disappointed.

OP, I feel for you, that sounds dreadful. I'm sorry I don't have any great advice to help your condition. One thing I can tell you is I BF my DC1 for 15 months and he has thrived. I gave up BFing DC2 after 2 weeks as it was excruciatingly painful. She has thrived too. Both happy healthy children. 2nd probably keeps better health actually - fewer childhood bugs. Don't feel bad if you have to give up BF - everything will be fine. You have given it your best shot.

(P.s I read the whole post, not just the first paragraph)

I have bf my dc for 5 months now and hope to carry on but it if it had been anywhere near as difficult as what you have described I would have given up by now. Having a new baby is hard enough that sounds like your boobs have been through hell as well. Whatever you do now is entirely reasonable OP fair play to you. I hope you find a solution to the pain and even if you do end up using formula as well you have at every turn been doing your utmost for your baby and should feel proud of what you have achieved already against all odds.

Does it hurt if you express? Could you express and bottle feed?

I had vasospasms on one side following a bout of mastitis when DS2 was about 7 months. The HVs couldn't give a toss because he already weaning and just suggested giving up. I'd already got DS1 to 13m. As it was one side, I changed to a ratio of 2:1 feeds so the affected side got more rest although I spent many months with lopsided boobs as the supply changed, finally stopping of my own free will at 20 months.

I'd forgotten that cold made it worse (it was winter when I developed it). Bamboo breast pads were good for warmth.

DS2 always did have a sloppy latch and went in for long feeds, a good 40 mins. No issue was identified even though I suspected a lip tie at one point.

TBH if they'd settled in that early, and if both sides were affected, I don't think I could have ploughed on through that.

That's sounds so rough well done you for carrying on so long!! What would you like to do? Do you want to carry on nursing?

I'd highly recommend contacting la leche league. Their helpline is 24/7 and they have access to a huge range of services and professionals but also a massive network of peer support from other mums. They can help you find a way to nurse thats comfortable, help with expressing, mix feeding or transitioning to bottle feeding if that's what you want to do.

Finally unmumsnetty hugs because chronic pain of any sort is shit

Serious I would give up! And I say that as a very committed bf'er. You've done far far more than most women would and your baby will have benefitted no doubt, but give yourself a break

Thanks all. Yes it hurts to express too.

I keep giving myself a deadline so when someone said it'll stop hurting by 6 weeks I held out til then. Then 10weeks, then three months and a poster above is saying 4 months...

I haven't heard of mamilliary construction syndrome. I shall go read up on it. Thanks.

I continue breastfeeding through it all because I'm making milk. I didn't make any with my first child and so feel a stubborn determination to keep going... that and I'm too lazy to get out of bed in the middle of the night to make a bottle.

I found that the sharp stabbing lasted about an hour after feeds. DS2 being older than your baby would have had more spaced out feeds by that point.

Your journey sounds the same as mine, hell at first to the point of crying when I knew naby needed feeding. I ended up feeding for 2.5 years and after the first couple of months it was fine.

The pains I had like yours were related to thrush. I was advised by the breast feeding supporter to take the oral treatmemt Fluconazole.

www.breastfeedinginc.ca/informations/fluconazole/

I had a hard time convincing the doctor though and I think I had to buy some OTC from different chemists.

Worked really well though. My nipples were cracked and bleeding so bad at one point I thoughy it would fall off.

I don't have any advice ..I was able to B/feed pain free.

I did smile at your too lazy to get up and make a bottle, I recognised that.. However my reason for posting is to say you have done an amazing drop trying..

If nothing works then give yourself a huge pat on the back and get DP to make a bottle while you recuperate.

I have a saying about feeding it isn't just about what is best for the baby it is about what is best for the family as a whole and in pain feeding for 3 months sounds awful along with sleep deprivation.

OP STOP
Seriously I carried on for about a month after Was desperate to stop and it really contributed to depression. All I wanted was someone to say to me it's ok stop

By the way I think you are ace and such a warrior to carry on through all that. but please do not be ashamed to stop

Christ. You won't ever be on the bad mummy's list. I have to applaud you , there's no way I would have gone through all of that. Look, I don't want to get shouted down here, but if you put your baby on the bottle now you would be a more relaxed mummy and you have still done a super ammount of breast feeding so have nothing to feel guilty over. I was absolutly desperate to BF, I simply couldn't wait. DD only weighed 3lb 13oz born, and then dropped to 3lb 6. Even though I sat with the breast pump,on for eight hours a day I NEVER got the let down reflex and only ever dripped milk. It took me two hours to produce 25ml on a good session. I lasted three weeks before my husband told me to stop before killed myself. Anyway, DD took to Cow and Gate like a pig in shit, she caught up in no time , fast forward ten years and she is in rude health and has had antibiotics once. While I applaud women who breastfeed I do wish that more people understood that not everybody has boobs which work properly without lots of pain and problems and that there is NOTHING WRONG in moving a baby onto formula. You have done so very very well, if you are in pain, tired and struggling then move onto formula. You have given your baby a FANTASTIC start and have nothing to be guilty about. I'm amazed by you.

Has the tongue tie definitely been fixed. Fed ds with a minor tongue tie MW denied it but bf clinic confirmed it but too late to fix . It did get easier to feed him but not really comfortable until 9 months. You just need to weigh up for yourself whether the benefits are worth the impact on you and your family. How about mixed feeding so that you give each side longer to recover? Was definitely better after weaning and longer breaks.

What yorkshireyummymummy said.

And if you can afford it, use cartons at night, you just slit them open and pour into a bottle, no 'making up'.

You've done a wonderful job, now give yourself a break. Your baby will continue to thrive.

OP do you want to carry on feeding? If you do I'll second la leche league, investigating if you have another bout of thrush and possibly looking into BF with EDS.

I suffered this also but as a previous poster states, it did go completely around 3/4 months.

However, all that said, if you are not passionately desperate to keep feeding then just... don't. Give yourself a break. Being a new mum is incredibly hard (every time not just the first!) and if you need to formula feed your baby will be absolutely fine. Really they will.

My 4 are now 10, 9, 6 & 3. One was BF, 3 weren't. There's no conceivable way that anyone would know, or in fact care, which the BF was now.

If I had a hat on I would take it off just for you. You are a star and a trooper don't feel gutted about thinking of giving up. Remember happy mum means happy baby and if you are feeling a lot of pain while bf then stop.

I did six weeks of what you had.

It was enough.

It's OK to formula feed, it really is.

I had a very similar experience to you with my second and have every sympathy - I found that all the resources on www.breastfeedingonline.com/newman.shtml
This is Dr Jack Newman who is just brilliant (& when I was struggling the most replied personally to my email). Worth a look - good luck, I came out of the other side of hey agony (fluconozole helped) & managed to continue, but was close to the edge of giving up many times & no one would blame you if you did.

You say you have a connective tissue disorder - can I ask, is it Ehlers Danlos? It's painfully underresearched and there are so many symptoms that the professionals disagree on. I've read articles that suggest that every fibromyalgia sufferer has some form of EDS, for example. If so I do recommend you fight to see an EDS specialist.

If not I apologise!