AIBU saying nothing can be done re:breastfeeding?

[Teabagtits]

I'm breastfeeding my 3month old baby. For the entire time it has been excruciatingly painful. I've had and been treated for mastitis, thrush a few times (baby treated too), staphylococcus aureus infection, cracked nipples, shallow latch (resolved as baby got bigger) and baby had tongue tie snipped at three weeks. I was eventually diagnosed as having raynauds of the nipple with vasospasms and prescribed nifedipine for two weeks with self help heat based measures.

I've just completed my first day off the nifedipine and the pain has returned as bad as ever and now I have a new pain, a very sharp throbbing and stabbing behind my nipple with no discernible triggers (i.e. Happens between feeds not before, during or immediately after). I was discharged from the bfing clinic only today as they say they've done everything they can and that nifedipine is only a short term solution and that most people find the raynauds clears up or becomes manageable after a 2week course.

I've been to my GP, I've had help from midwives, health visitors, peer supporters, lactation consultants and the top line (or end of the line) breast feeding clinic and still there is pain.

I have a connective tissue disorder and no one can tell me whether it could be this causing the breast pain and there's nothing I can find online discussing this. I'm at my wits end and really feel there's nothing can be done to help fix the problem. Paracetamol and ibuprofen don't work. It's not related to let down or filling up of breasts (that's a prickly feeling)

This is my last ditch attempt at trying to resolve the issue before giving up breastfeeding entirely and relying on formula. Does anyone have any clues as to what could cause this pain and how to if not get rid of it completely to make it less dominant? I really don't want to give up having come this far.

Has your baby been reassessed for tongue tie recently? It can reattach.

Have you tried nipple shields?

You need to see an IBCLC is at all possible, if not I would call la Leche League.

Well done for continuing to breastfeed, it's not easy when it's painful but hopefully an IBCLC will be able to get to the bottom of your problems.

I found the first 6 weeks of bf were hell every time but was able to just about hild on. I don't think I could have done 3 months.
If you want to stop now then you've done the really important stuff. Nobody can say you didn't do your best. Formula isn't a disaster. Fed is best and a mother who isn't crying in pain is also best.

Hey OP, no two persons experience is the same but I've been where you are and it is bloody awful. We had DDs TT done at a week old and then I continued feeding in agony for another two months. Her TT was done again at 8 weeks old but in that time I took treatment for thrush, mastitis, painkillers. No idea what was causing me the pain, poor latch, thrush (never confirmed), TT, vasospasm or just plain old nipple damage. Still don't know. But come four months it got easier. That could have been the second TT division and DD learning how to feed more effectively or it could have been her mouth getting bigger or something.
But ultimately, I don't want me or other posters to dangle a carrot in front of you saying "just get to four months/five/ten/six years old and it will get better". If you've had enough and you're mental and physical wellbeing is suffering then combi feed or stop. Only you know what you can cope with and I'm sorry there's no way of knowing if it will get better or not.
But well done on everything you've managed this far.

I also breastfed in pain until my daughter was six months old, when the pain went. It hurt during the feed and then I'd get like deep after pains too. And it'd hurt for ages afterwards. I'm still not sure now how I got through it...
My daughter had a posterior tongue tie and it took a long time to stretch or break. I don't know which. I went onto feed her until she was two. But do what is right for you, I was just bloody stubborn and wanted to see if it'd ever be painfree.

Until the raynauds, this sounded exactly like my experience. Thrush, mastitis, shallow latch everything. With all three of my DC. I saw a lactation consultants, drs, no one could get to bottom of pain.

I used to sob getting out the shower because the discomfort of wrapping myself in a towel was so extreme.

I'm posting this because it did change. With DC1, maybe around the 12 week mark, and I went on to feed till DC2 was born. In the interim the breast shells that allowed my nipples to stay dry and "recover" in between feeds were an absolute godsend.

Equally with DC2 I gave up. My eldest was a demanding 13mth old and I couldn't put myself through it. Definitely don't feel you must.

And then again with DC3, after the initial horror, I managed until 18mths. Only on one side though!!

Are you taking any other medication?

I had raynauds when I started breastfeeding and my god it's painful. I realised it was because I was taking labetalol (also called trandate) for high blood pressure. Other bp medications can also cause it.

I reduced the dose to 50mg once a day and the raynauds stopped. Obvs if you are taking BP meds you should speak to your doctor about reducing it first as it has to be done gradually and under supervision.

When I did have the pain, a hot water bottle applied after feeding helped a bit.

I don't want to stop. I know it's ok to and I'm not anti formula but I didn't come this far to quit. I live most days in chronic pain so this is just another to add to the list but I'd really prefer not to have another one on the list. I'm convinced there's a reason for this and that when I get to the bottom of it it'll be fixable. My naivety serves me well right now.

The baby has had his tongue tie checked since having it cut. It hasn't reattached. Quite a few people have checked for this.

I don't think I have EDS although I did have hypermobility as a child. Since being diagnosed with a ctd my muscles and tendons are too tight due to the inflammation, so the hypermobility thing seems to have disappeared completely. I have wondered about it before but I don't think I fit the profile. I don't have fibromyalgia diagnosis either. It's most likely a vasculitis but the bloods don't say what one. It affects my tendons and muscles, my eyes sometimes my lungs and my bowels. Although one of my rheums thinks it may be crohns or uc. Neither of which should affect my boobs.

I don't have any blood pressure problems.

OP breast may be best if all other things are equal (and there is very little clear evidence for significant causative benefits for healthy term babies in any case). In your case though, all else most certainly is not equal. It sounds like you are in agony on a daily basis, and have been for months. I would hate to think of my own mother suffering such pain purely for me, especially when there is a ready alternative. If it was your daughter in 30 years' time writing this post, what would you say?

Unfortunately I don't think anyone can promise you a resolution in x weeks. The nipple shields are a good suggestion if you haven't already tried - easy, cheap and you'll know pretty instantly if they help or not. I really hope your pain ends soon, whether because it resolves or because you stop BF. Please don't martyr yourself.

Sorry cross posted with your past. If you are absolutely determined to continue, then can you go at it from a different angle and ask your doctor for pain management solutions?

I know this doesn't sound helpful but could your baby not be latching on properly. For some people bf is not easy and I think you have done very well. Its up to you if you want to continue it may improve. Good luck.

A few people have mentioned flucanozole and I would also recommend it.

I had excruciating deep stabbing pains after feeding that would last for hours, it was so so painful. I took painkillers round the clock, I would even set alarms to wake up to take them at night because if I didn't the pain would come back and it would keep me awake crying.

I read up and self diagnosed with ductal thrush, which my GP confirmed, she was very sympathetic and helpful and prescribed flucanozole. Think I took it for 3 or 4 weeks to completely clear the infection, although the pain started going sooner than that.

I really wish you luck in clearing this up, the pain was so tough to deal with, you have all my sympathy x

I'm another with eds, my dc likely have it, and their latch was awful. A lactation consultant finally realized they latched in the compleat opposite way to how the primative reflex is supposed to work. I had to find positions that would help get my nipple to the back of their mouths. And I found some worked better and reduced the pain and some made it worse. Had a whole heap of thrush, mastitis, dmer, and reflux &cmpa issues also but won't bore you with the story. The latch was the worst, the pains during and after were like nothing I had ever experienced.

What helped with latch pain was nipple sheilds, some expressing and taking the dc to a cranial osteopath. With tts there are also exercises to do with they're mouths afterwards. We didn't have that issue thankfully. Nursing on the rocking chair or while they were asleep seemed to improve their technique.

Personally I found deciding I'd just do one feed at a time helped me. I was also in stronger pain meds than that and I found until I got my anemia under control the stabbing breast pains never left. I guess I needed to get my health back online after hemoraging badly. Natural supplements always work best for me and I added magnesium also as it helps with pain. I liked hot water bottles on them too. If I was dehydrated it was worse also. I found it improved a bit around 4months, much more around 7months but came back when my periods came back at 16months until I got the hemoraging under control.

You have to do what's right for you. Formula is fine for most babies and your baby has already had more breast milk than most. Being ok yourself is allways the most important part of caring for kids. If you need to know you have done everything then try osteopath, nipple sheilds, lactation consultants and everything else others have suggested here. You might want to have a plan like if it isn't better by the end of the month then stop, or that you will express until it's sorted or something else along those lines. We used a lot of formula top ups for the 1st few months of our dts life and while this was started due to my milk coming in late and their weight loss it helped give me a break when I was most tired. Long term it made things worse with the cmpa &reflux but at the time it helped me continue to mostly bf and that enabled me to find solutions to the bf problems. My plan was that I would just do til the next feed and then see, that worked for me, so find a plan that matters to you. If you need to switch totally then get help on how to do that also as mastitis can return if you go cold turkey.

Oh and btw my DS & DD have continued to be this fricken difficult!! By amazing and alot of fun and me being in a mess those early months had no bearing on our bond at all.

Just stop. It sounds horrific.

Oh dear :-( sorry it's been such a hard road for you.

You've tried so hard at this, but I'm left with the feeling if I'm honest, that if you carry on, I think you'll be doing it more because you don't want to feel that you've 'failed' at it, than because it's the best thing for your child and your family.

Being in pain at every feed will affect the bond you have with your child. What should be an enjoyable part of the day becomes one where your child sees you wince in pain, and likely dread each feed. That's not good for either of you, and not good for your relationship with each other.

Ask yourself why you want to continue? Is it for health reasons - if so, that's fine, but make sure you are clued up on which benefits are real and which ones are not. From my reading of the research, I came to the conclusion that there is very little in the way of compelling evidence that it will cause any significant benefit. That doesn't mean it's not good that you've done it so far, but that if you carry on, you need to know the score, or it's hideously unfair to you.

If it's for bonding reasons, even if there is any evidence of this (which tbh I don't know) then your situation and the pain you find yourself in is likely to counteract that. Also, don't underestimate the bonding value of your child being able to look you directly in the eye whilst feeding, which you get with bottles.

And if there are any benefits, then you've done it for 3 months anyway.

You are putting yourself through hell that is completely unnecessary for the health and development of your child. Your child will grow equally well on either milk or formula. Your child would probably benefit more from a happy mum right now, and you need to do whatever it takes to make that happen. So continue if you want, but be very clear to yourself as to why you are doing it.

Boob is great if it's something you want to do and that you and your baby are thriving on.

Given where you are now, I think you have 4 options personally.

-continue, but accept that it's going to cause you pain. It might be that you are ok to live with that, and it's your choice to do so.

• move entirely on to formula.
• exclusively express, if that causes less pain
• do mixed feeding, in some combination.

Good luck