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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel sorry for all these mil's

27 replies

2shoesonanegghunt · 02/04/2007 22:30

I know I moaned about minebut they do get a beating on here

OP posts:
Carmenere · 02/04/2007 22:31

That is because this is a 'safe' place to moan, it is sacred

Rachmumoftwo · 02/04/2007 22:34

Mine is lovely, but lives in Ireland, so we only see her once a year. That may be why we get on so well, though, as we don't have time to annoy each other.

fireflyfairy2 · 02/04/2007 22:35

Well, tbh, not that long ago I would have been moaning alongside them. But my MIl & I have started making an effort with each other lately. Probably in the last year & we get along great.

TBH It was me who had to loosen up a little bit, & MIL who had to learn to step back when I found it all too overwhelming.

She now babysits for me & I don't fret & worry. I have seen her every day for the past 2 weeks & we haven't killed each other yet

Original poster
2shoesonanegghunt · 02/04/2007 22:37

i am the other way round used to love her then she made some comments. but at the end of the day she is family so I have to put up and shut up. and she is quite sweet.

OP posts:
chipmonkey · 02/04/2007 23:09

Rach, my MIL lives in Ireland but unfortunately so do I!

PelvicfloornomoreChocolate · 02/04/2007 23:11

Yes you are unreasonable
They deserve what they get ..........nasty witches!

Nightynight · 02/04/2007 23:13

Not many of us are MILs at the moment. There will be more threads about unreasonable DILs in a few years time lol

Hilllary · 02/04/2007 23:15

I don't have a MIL thank goodness, I did try though when we did, different families, different ways of life, sometimes they just conflict & you know what us women are like we fight our corner

littleEasterlapin · 02/04/2007 23:17

I'm sure I posted positively about my MIL a while back... she is a star. 4 DCs, 9 DGCs (and counting), she knows waaaaay more about parenting than me, but never butts in, only offers advice when specificly asked - and is a fab cook!

Oh, and produced my DH, he of the scrumptious arse

Nemo2007 · 02/04/2007 23:18

I love love love my MIL..now my mum

mummytosteven · 02/04/2007 23:19

I don't particularly bond with MIL, but things have improved since I had DS, so I have never felt any urge to slate her on here.

hana · 02/04/2007 23:22

I 've never had a MIL, so do read these threads and wonder what it might have been like. But I will be a MIL one day and would hate to thing that I'd be thread-worthy!

chipmonkey · 02/04/2007 23:26

My MIL never had a MIL. I do wonder whether that would have made a difference to her.....Nah, probably not!

magicfarawaytree · 02/04/2007 23:31

depends on whether iyou think its unfair to moan about a woman who thinks that its ok for a mil to be racist, snobby, and sexist really...............
my mil is s t of the earth ( clue: its not salt). Her finest moment being to state she didnt want half caste grand children).

chipmonkey · 03/04/2007 22:45

magicfaraway tree!

chipmonkey · 03/04/2007 22:46

Sorry, not at you, at your MIL!

TrilbyOFerrall · 03/04/2007 23:04

My MIL died when I was 3 months pregnant. We got on okay on the surface, but I always got the impression that I wasn't good enough for her son. (I'd been with dh for 12 years at this point, and we'd had problems conceiving)

I'm so that she never got to meet her first grandaughter, and wish dd could have grown up with two grandmas. (When we were clearing the house I found a set of knitted bootees, and partially completed cardigans etc, and it was so sad)

C'mon. Most of us will be MILs one day.

I accept that some MILs can be harridans, but don't like to see the general MIL basing that goes on sometimes.

TrilbyOFerrall · 03/04/2007 23:07

bashing

chipmonkey · 03/04/2007 23:17

My MIL is a harridan though.

Chandra · 03/04/2007 23:18

Mine deserves the beating...

edam · 03/04/2007 23:19

I'm sure there are some harridans but as a mother of a ds, I do worry about the anti-MIL thing. Will any future DIL automatically assume I'm out to judge her, or interfere?

3easterbunniesandnomore · 03/04/2007 23:21

not unreasobable at all!
Now, I know some are awful, and well...non are probably perfect...but yeah, must be shite to be the MIL especially if you are the blokes mother...often seems to be a case that you have not got many rights....and I do worry about that, seeing that I have 3 boys and this might well be my situation one day...ahving grandchildren, but being treated as 2. or worse class citizen...whereas the mother of the girl gets all freedom, etc....

Chandra · 03/04/2007 23:22

I plan to have a conversation with my future DIL where I hand out the reigns of my DS to her, with a promise to be there if they need me but out of the way out of plain respect for their own decisions and choices.

Chandra · 03/04/2007 23:23

...and I probably shouldn't have said the reigns as it is not the way I think should be but, to make clear that I respect they are grown ups and a new family in their own right.

PanicPants · 03/04/2007 23:26

I feel sorry for them too - but only because one day I'm going to be a MIL!

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