To find this awkward?

[moutonfou]

DH and I socialise with another couple. We were friends with the boyfriend first and the girlfriend was later introduced to us.

The girlfriend in this couple seems to become very easily annoyed by things the boyfriend says. Things like: (innocent) references to other female friends or female celebs, or if he recounts anecdotes from their week which involve her looking slightly (and I mean, really slightly) foolish. We all willingly share silly things we've done and have a laugh at ourselves so it's not all laughter at her expense.

Anyway the issue is that she then begins to stonewall him whilst the four of us are all still socialising. He tries to make little attempts to get a smile out of her or involve her in the conversation and she rebuffs these very deliberately and won't talk to him, although she'll talk to us. Although it's low level, I've been in an emotionally manipulative relationship and I find it hard to watch.

AIBU to find this awkward? I'm never sure what to do - address it outright like "well this is awkward!" or just pretend it isn't happening, carry on talking and try to involve her in conversation. DH and I find ourselves going to the bar or toilet together to give them a chance to talk it out. WWYD?

It's up to the individual if they want to share stories about their own foolishness, it's not up to someone else to do it for them. Fine to do it and not know they don't like it. Not fine when you know they don't like it and do it for the shits and giggles anyway, in front of people the person doesn't know so well. You're just embarrassing the person for your mates amusement. Not cool at all.

Next time he does it, tell him to stop op, have a little empathy for her. The story on the travelling friend, I suspect you thought of the least innocuous thing you could to make it look like it was her problem and not his.

I'd think about why I was so desperate to blame her and tell her to suck it up, that you all do daft things, or however you phrased it, when you're faced with a woman being treated a bit shit by a bloke, instead of wanting to tell him to wind his neck in.

It's entirely possible she was pissed off with him for another reason than his interest in his friends travels. He behaves like a dick so probably pisses her off a lot.
To the people suggesting the op speak to the gf to try and help I seriously doubt that would be appreciated. The op obviously doesn't like that the gf is unimpressed by her friends hilarious bantz and I very much doubt that the gf will want to speak to one of her asshole bfs fawning mates who laugh at her with him and then get the arse when she doesn't join in.

I can appreciate you may find it awkward but the solution for you is straightforward - don't socialize with the couple.

Firstly you don't really know what goes on behind closed doors. There may be lots of reasons why the gf doesn't like the boyfriend mentioning other women. None of your concern. Secondly, perhaps the boyfriend should learn that it irritates his girlfriend when he brings up stories that embarrass her. Really not his place to do that and if her reaction bothers him then he should stop telling those stories. That would solve that.

She doesn't have to sit there and put up with behaviour she doesn't like just to keep the peace. And if her behavior is so awful then the couple need to resolve it themselves.

Stay out of it and perhaps be a little more aware of there being 4 people, rather than you and your partner, your original friend and his plus 1.

I wouldn't bring my issues with what a partner said into a small social group setting in this way. I think it's quite rude to make a show of ignoring your partner in a small group, thus making everyone feel very uncomfortable.

It would surely be better to take him aside and voice your upset or have it out when you get home.

I don't think OP is unreasonable in feeling awkward if this happens continually.

And I find it terribly concerning that instantly it's assumed that the gf has social anxiety.

Before that diagnosis it's probably far more likely that she is embarrassed by her partner retelling private stories to a group of people she doesn't really know that well. Where are her boundaries respected in this?

Maybe she would like to know people a lot better before she shares things that are her private buses. Her boyfriend should respect that and his commitment to her should come before his compulsion to 'overshare' with his friends.

I think it would be nice if you invite her out separately and see what's she like then.

It's unfair of people on here to assume either one of them is in the wrong without knowing them.

Maybe one of them is wrong or maybe she just needs time to feel like one of the group, YANBU to find it awkward but give her a chance.

He sounds a complete tit, your posts are clearly skewed in his favour and I suspect you aren't getting the responses you expected here.

Anyway, the solution for you and your DH is simple enough.

Stop socialising with them as a group of 4, (or rather, 3 and his plus 1 which is obviously how you view the gf). Only see him on his own, or the two of them as part of a much larger group.

I suspect you aren't getting the responses you expected here

I agree.