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AIBU?

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Original poster

She talks to me like shit...

59 replies

Louiser239 · 04/09/2017 10:05

My "friend" of 11 years talks to me like shit and snappy but wouldn't dream of talking to her other friends like that.
She puts me down a lot but bigs the other girls up "ooh you look fabulous"
"Wow you look amazing"
With me I get nothing.
If I suggest a pub she will say no we aren't going in..if one of the others suggest it "oh that's a fabulous idea"
It's all so fake,I'm thinking of just cutting her out of my life.

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 04/09/2017 11:01

my dsis had a friend not that close but still hung about in same group

was bitchy snidy to her alot-one night she was drunk an told sis she was jealous of her-my sister hasnt got a fantastic life but she was jealous of her still

thy seemed to have a heart to heart its bettr now

its usually their problem not yours

EEandEmakes3 · 04/09/2017 11:05

Get rid of her, all she'll do is cause you stress. I had a best friend who turned out to be passive aggressive. I suffered a bereavement and realised life was too short, I ended the friendship and now I have peace, whereas I used to have palpitations and anxiety whenever she would invite herself to mine and stay for hours on end.

OliviaStabler · 04/09/2017 11:08

Sorry but she doesn't like you. No true friend would act like that.

millifiori · 04/09/2017 11:10

Some people test boundaries without even realising it. Next time she puts you down, tell her that attitude is really making you lose respect and affection for her, and for her to cut it out from now on. If we expect respect, we get it.

Having said that, two friends of mine gradually started battling over who was queen bee (both really needed to be, for some reason) They fell out and their friendship has never revived. The close group that hung out with them now still sees them both but never together and the atmosphere is much nicer. Not saying you are queen bee, but no reason, if you do decide to drop her, that you can't continue to see other friends from that group separately, is there?

Anecdoche · 04/09/2017 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Louiser239 · 04/09/2017 12:03

The other day I was out shopping and seen something she would like (was only £5) so I bought her it....sent her a pic saying "seen this and thought of you"
She read it and didn't even acknowledge it..
Read message and no response.

OP posts:
NicolasFlamel · 04/09/2017 12:16

Why would you buy something for someone who treats you like that? You're a glutton for punishment. Get rid and forget about her.

Namechangetempissue · 04/09/2017 12:19

OP, I had a friend exactly like this. I put up with her crap for years, mainly because I had known her since secondary school and there were times when she was great -kind, generous, good company. It took me a while to click that these times were usually when we were alone or when she needed something. When out in a group she could be snide, catty and rude -or deliberately exclude the person she had decided she wanted to that night. All a huge power trip. She is hugely insecure and jealous of anyone having anything better than her. Last year I just had enough after a party where she was so awful to me and I haven't contacted her since. She has obviously panicked that her "go to" doormat has seen the light and tried to be super nice since, but fuck it, I'm so done with that. Life is too short for crap mates. I'm so much happier since. Cut her off. You will not regret it.

redexpat · 04/09/2017 12:22

Return the item and get your £5 back. The longer you consider her a friend the longer it will take you to find a real friend who is nice and supportive.

DarkDarkNight · 04/09/2017 12:26

She needs somebody to feel superior too. Don't be that person.

She's not your friend, you really don't need her in your life.

Original poster
Louiser239 · 04/09/2017 12:32

That's the only time she's nice to me when it's just the two of us -we actually enjoy yourselves then.

OP posts:
Original poster
Louiser239 · 04/09/2017 12:33

It was only a compact mirror with a silly slogan on but it reminded me of her so I bought it..I'm going to just keep it for mysekf

OP posts:
PeterGriffinsPenisBeaker · 04/09/2017 12:40

Stop being her doormat. She's only using you to make herself feel more mighty. You're worth more than that.

Call her out on the crap, OP. It'll be like therapy for you. Then move on.

Anecdoche · 04/09/2017 13:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Giraffey1 · 04/09/2017 13:22

I think we have some friends for evev, but some just for a season ... or length of time. Sounds as if this friendship has run its course.

Giraffey1 · 04/09/2017 13:22
  • ever
RubyGoat · 04/09/2017 13:30

She does not act like a friend to you, therefore, she isn't a friend. Just someone you know. LTB!

ChorusLine69 · 04/09/2017 13:35

I have an ex friend like that
Much happier not seeing her, friends should make you feel good and vice Versa as life's too short and all that

Don't see her anymore and don't waste any more of your time or headspace thinking about it as it really isn't worth the stress. Concentrate your time and effort on people you love and who love you

ChorusLine69 · 04/09/2017 13:37

Oh yes and what giraffe said!

Travis1 · 04/09/2017 13:44

Honestly she's not worth your time. Stop chasing her. She's being an utter bitch to you and you are accepting it. Just don't. Value yourself better than that

LoveB · 04/09/2017 13:45

You need to play hard to get! Don't be needy. You need to ignore her for a while, don't initiate any communication. She's taking you for granted.

And if you don't miss her, then keep ignoring her and cut her out completely!

RaspberryOverload · 04/09/2017 13:53

Louiser239 Mon 04-Sep-17 10:15:40

I was speaking to a good friend yesterday and she seems to think she does it because she thinks she can get away with it with me.

Your other friend is right, it looks like you're the whipping boy. I get that she might be part of a group, and would therefore be present when you all get together, but you can distance yourself, and concentrate on others in the group when you're all together.

HorridHenryrule · 04/09/2017 13:58

You have to ignore her find someone else to spend evenings out with. She will understand that you don't care.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/09/2017 14:13

She is doing it because she can get away with it. Your good friend is perfectly correct. And you're rolling out the doormat. She is perfectly nice when it's just the two of you so that you continue to play along and get confused.

My dh had a big group of friends like this and I put up with them for over a decade. Men and women. The men were fine. Each of the women was nice enough on her own but collectively they were absolute bitches to me. We binned them off in the end and it wasn't pretty. One of them sent me an awful awful mail about how none of them ever liked me. Basically the women were jealous of me and wanted us to divorce and dh to themselves. The fact they only knew dh because we were together and he moved to England to be with me escaped them. They weren't very nice women tbh, some were having affairs with married men and all sorts.

There is possibly something about you making this woman jealous too. It's normally this type of situation works. If you weren't in some way a threat to her, she'd be fine with you. This has the mean girl in the playground mentality written all over it.

BMW6 · 04/09/2017 14:21

Christ OP why are you such a doormat? Why in the world would you, fgs, buy a present for someone who treats you with such obvious and public distain?

You appear to be attached to her like a limpet that she can't get off, no matter how awful she is to you.

Have some pride and dignity woman.