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AIBU?

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Original poster

Did anyone have to go into solitary confinement as punishment at school?

106 replies

TippyTinkleTrousers · 03/09/2017 17:23

I saw an educational psychologist last week as I was suspected to have dyslexia.

She asked about school, explained I was distributive and she asked how they punished. This is secondary school I'm referring to.

It was solitary confinement and she seemed shocked. I always assumed all schools did it and it was better than being canned as they did at my dads school.

If we were in trouble we would have between 1 day and 2 weeks in the what they callled The Focus Room. Depending on how bad we had been.

It would be a room of about 8-10 kids, with dividers in between all of them so the kid could see the teacher but no one else.

You would have a break away from one another and at a different time to the rest of the school. Same at lunch time.

You literally saw no one else and spoke to no one the whole day. Or days depending how bad you were.

I spent a lot of time in the 'Focus Room.'

The ed psych seemed appalled but I just took it as normal. I wondered if anyone else's school had this or similar?

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 03/09/2017 20:24

He was even put in isolation as punishment for hiding in the loos due to being stressed at being told off all the time!
So what was the agreed procedure should something like that happen? Every school Ive worked in has had risk assessments and procedures where a child's needs mean that can happen and none of them have ever been 'go off to somewhere in school with nobofy knowing where you are' because that's a safeguarding issue.

See the thing is what you have there is a situation where child takes off & leave a class, nobody knows where they are, they are unsupervised and potentially in a vulnerable state. Say something happens and nobody knows where they are. He is in the toilet struggling yo cope and there's an evacuation but he's too overwhelmed to leave. Where do staff direct the emergency services? (Just illustrating why it is a massive issue for students to just take themselves off)

My school have put students in internal exclusion for taking themselves off places. I called home as well for one this year and home were very supportive of the sanction (not internal exclusion this time) because should something have happened to the child there could have been a medical emergency.

SandyY2K · 03/09/2017 20:26

It's called isolation these days. Or they also have inclusion, where you are placed with (other naughty/badly behaved) children as punishment.

It's done in my DCs school.

brasty · 03/09/2017 20:27

I am old. We did not have that, but we got caned instead. I remember a 5 year old being caned,which even as kids we thought was wrong.

wannabestressfree · 03/09/2017 20:28

@user is he in an Sen school?
Does he have an ehcp?
In a school with 1000 children we can't have children just wandering off nor send staff to hunt them down.
Duty of care does not make them cunts.
If school makes him that anxious is that environment the right one for him?

MaisyPops · 03/09/2017 20:32

You raise very relevant points wannabestressfree, though I feared when i first read this thread that it may eventually turn into a 'behaviour vs SEND' thread so you might want a hard hat at the ready.

Though I've started to adopt a new approach to MN of taking things with pinch of salt when people start slinging the word cunt around (which seems to be lots at the moment)

Ttbb · 03/09/2017 20:35

When girls got in trouble at my school it usually resulted in parents writing a fat cheque. Never had this at any rate.

ASauvingnonADay · 03/09/2017 20:35

Just goes to show that some head teachers are absolute cunts.
🙄

ASauvingnonADay · 03/09/2017 20:37

Op, as others have said, that is not solitary confinement. Far from it. Sounds like 'isolation' or what most schools would call that, still very common.

Not always ideal, but we don't always have the perfect solution (as that generally involves money or resources that we do not have...)

Wants · 03/09/2017 20:37

I ended up excluded for a day and then SC for a few days. I had made a comment to a 'friend ' who took it the wrong way and started yanking me around by my hair and gave me a nasty wrist burn. She was excluded for the week. Shock

Bambamber · 03/09/2017 20:41

My school had isolation, not that it seemed to overly bother the kids that went in there. It was only used for the real troublemakers. I had a lot of emtional difficulties at school for various reasons so could sometimes be a little disruptive, but because the school was well aware of my situation, they would let me sit in a empty teachers office to cool off rather than just punish me.

Lurkedforever1 · 03/09/2017 20:46

I don't know about users situation but I do know how the scenario plays out at one local school. The dc becomes stressed out because the school cba to support them. So a few vile kids start to take the piss out of the child with sn. Child becomes more stressed, is blamed when they eventually lash out at the bullying that nobody can be bothered to investigate, let alone stop. And anyway Jack's mum came in screaming about the sn kid hitting her pfb so it must be the bad sn kid. The safe space that the child with sn is meant to be able to access isn't available, because the senco has been drafted off to cover yet another absent subject teacher. And anyway the class teacher won't let the child with sn leave because they're behind enough without being allowed to run off whenever they want, and anyway sn or not they need to learn to behave. So the poor kid has no choice but to either run, or have a meltdown or similar. And then the school can say 'yes, but we had to react to that with x, because it wasn't safe'. When really they engineered the entire situation.

Not saying a decent school does it that way but not all schools are decent.

Bluelonerose · 03/09/2017 20:49

Oh god yes I practically lived in my head of years room. I didn't mind though coz the alternative was being bullied.
In our high school I've seen a girl be put in isolation for wearing white socks!! Shock

NC4now · 03/09/2017 20:52

I never had this but DS is a fairly frequent visitor to the exclusion unit, much to my dismay Blush

wannabestressfree · 03/09/2017 21:24

@MaisyPops I am a teacher, have two children with aspergers and ehcp's and run an internal PRU.
I know my shit were this is concerned. We have several parents who don't 'parent' then blame the school. It takes a village and all that.....
I just don't think there is any need to be so rude.

BoneyBackJefferson · 03/09/2017 21:25

Lurkedforever1

I am sorry that your child has had to put up with this, but that is only one of many possible scenarios that I have seen.

wannabestressfree · 03/09/2017 21:25

@NC4now try not to worry. It normally pans out ok. I could tell you stories about my own sons that would make your ears bleed! One is now at uni and one is starting his a levels. (The little one is still a nightmare!)

Lurkedforever1 · 03/09/2017 21:45

boney not my child, but I know her very well and she has pretty easily and cheaply met needs, as evidenced by primary and new mainstream secondary. She's just unfortunately not unique for that school.

But I do agree there are good schools who do manage it well, and other good schools who can still struggle to meet the needs of some dc despite trying their best.

MaisyPops · 03/09/2017 21:48

wannabestressfree
Eh?! Confused
I agreed with you! You raised good questions.
How am I rude for saying I agree with you?

I did worry when I saw the thread it may end up going down ghe same old stuff as other threads. I also said I'm starting to zone out when people start throwing 'cunt' around (which to my knowledge you havent done).

Really not getting why the sudden 'i know my shit' response comes from. Confused

WafflyVersatile1 · 03/09/2017 21:55

If you watch the Educating Essex/Yorkshire etc series they show isolation and also the sort of behaviour that can lead to it. It certainly doesn't seem out of proportion to the behaviour.

pointythings · 03/09/2017 21:56

Maisy I think wannabestressfree may be mixing you up with someone else??? You both make absolutely valid points. At my DDs' school there is at least one child who has a very troubled home life, suffers from depression and severe anxiety - for them, isolation with one to one care is literally the lifeline that keeps them in school. They are smart and capable of doing well, but struggle emotionally. Without the safety valve of isolation when they are on the verge of blowing, they would have been permanently excluded by now. It's all about using it wisely.

wannabestressfree · 03/09/2017 22:20

@MaisyPops I meant the original lady posting the 'C' word was rude not you. Sorry for the confusion x

wannabestressfree · 03/09/2017 22:22

When I said ' I know my shit' I was expecting the original potty mouth to come forward and tell me i didn't understand.
I need to read before I post!

AugustRose · 03/09/2017 22:31

DH did not get on well with secondary school and was often removed from lessons, on some occasions he was locked in cupbard/stockrooms at the back of the classroom. I don't think it would happen now.

DD1's school has an 'inclusion unit' - it's basically a room where children removed from class or on detention sit separately to work without speaking while a teacher/assistant watches over them. But they are not on their own as far as I know.

MaisyPops · 03/09/2017 22:38

No worries wannabestressfree Brew
I read your reply and was like 'what did i do!!' Grin

SandyY2K · 03/09/2017 22:38

We have several parents who don't 'parent' then blame the school.

I agree.