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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to head home asap?

48 replies

MyOtherUsernameWasFunnier · 03/09/2017 07:24

Travelled 6 hours yesterday (leaving very very early in the morning) so DP and teen DS could attend a sporting event. Myself and DD came with, despite me saying a few days ago I would rather have stayed at home because there wasn't much to keep my DD amused. I was told in response to that it would be a fun family weekend.

Myself and DD were left to just wander the streets until we could check in to hotel, she was hot and fed up and overwhelmed by the crowds. I tried to keep it exciting for her, like we are off exploring in a big city, but I doubt it worked very well.

We fell asleep in the hotel room and instead of waking us when he returned around 6pm, DP left us sleeping. I woke at almost 9pm, now with two hungry children who hadn't had dinner and he expected us to find somewhere to go for food at that time. He wasn't understanding that lots of places stop allowing children onto the premises after a certain time. (If I am wrong about this I am prepared to apologise)

I was so angry yesterday because I knew this would happen. I just wanted to go home yesterday, but considering it was me who paid for the hotel room I thought we might as well actually use it. I ended up just ordering food to the room, most of which got thrown in the bin.

Now I've been awake since 6am wanting to head home but should I try and salvage some "family fun" today or cut my losses and sit through an awkward car ride home for 6 hours? I feel like I've spent more time sitting in this hotel room which isn't fun, it's hot and stuffy and boring and I am £200 out of pocket for the privilege.

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 03/09/2017 07:28

Why hadnt you arranged to do something with your dd instead of 'wander the streets'? You knew dh and ds were doing something, you could have researched something to together.

Original poster
MyOtherUsernameWasFunnier · 03/09/2017 07:31

I did but DD decided she did not want to do it. I tried to find something more child friendly for her but I really struggled. Maybe it was my lack of Google skills but everything seemed to be outwith the centre and I was reliant on DP to drive.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 03/09/2017 07:31

Where did your DP go between 6-9pm and how comes he left the other child (I assume the one who with him for the event)

Crunchymum · 03/09/2017 07:33

Was there no take away places you could grabbed some food?

Taylor22 · 03/09/2017 07:33

Were you in Cardiff?

If so there is plenty there. If she was just being stroppy and not cooperating then that's on her.

Original poster
MyOtherUsernameWasFunnier · 03/09/2017 07:34

He was also in the hotel room, as was my DS who had fallen asleep. I don't know if my DP fell asleep too. We were all exhausted after the time we had to get up at. Maybe I'm being too hard on him considering he was the one driving so probably more tired than any of us.

OP posts:
GinIsIn · 03/09/2017 07:35

If you planned something and your DD didn't want to do it that isn't your DP's fault though?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 03/09/2017 07:35

I don't know. It seems like you're blaming everyone else for everything when you're to blame too. You could have had fun with your dd; it was you who fell asleep and your dh somehow getting the blame; you were equally responsible for sorting somewhere nice to eat, preferably before you went etc.

And now you seem intent on ruining everyone's day to day!

CosmicPineapple · 03/09/2017 07:37

You didnt want to go so your mindset from the off was negative.

I don't see how he was wrong to leave you all sleeping as you had an early start and were clearly tired.

You were able to order food in the hotel so I again dont see how DH is to blame that you had to throw it away.

You could stay in a grumpy mood for the rest of the day or you can do some googling and look for things to do. You drive and have a car so you can look a bit further afield.

How old is DD? You say its a big city so their must be something fun to do?

hesterton · 03/09/2017 07:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PlaymobilPirate · 03/09/2017 07:37

You should have planned ahead. Buses exist. So do alarm clocks and take aways

Original poster
MyOtherUsernameWasFunnier · 03/09/2017 07:39

You're probably right. I felt I was BU but yesterday I was so fed up it was clouding my judgement. I'll apologise and try and make everyone have a better day today.

OP posts:
ihatethecold · 03/09/2017 07:39

But you decided to go with your dh, you knew he would be going to the sporting event.
I think your probably knackered and over reacting.
Lots of Italian high st restaurants don't stop kids going in at night.
You sound a bit like a martyr.

Bluntness100 · 03/09/2017 07:40

I don't really understand either, he drove six hours, got up early, went to some event, came back and you were sleeping, didn't disturb you as he didn't know what you'd been doing and for some reason it's his fault?

Wandering the streets with your daughter is shit. Why couldn't you go for a nice lunch then ask hotel staff what there was to do. Why didn't she want to do what was planned?

And yes, lots of places let kids in after nine, again you could have asked reception for a child friendly restaurant and made an effort. Again you chose not to, possibly as you don't want to be there.

If you still don't want to be there, go home, because you'll just make it as bad as possible for everyone.

LIZS · 03/09/2017 07:40

Of course you could have found somewhere to eat at 9pm Confused How old is dd? why did you not let her eat earlier while you were waiting so that she only needed something lighter later. Sounds like you were being rather negative from the outset.

Cailleach666 · 03/09/2017 07:40

YABU.

You knew it would be a crap weekend, you didn't want to go but you did.
I feel sorry for your DD.

You could have had a nice weekend at home with her doing stuff you both enjoy.

WowserBowser · 03/09/2017 07:41

Erm. You're not a child. Surely you can organise things. Like food and activities.
I would have made the most of it.
I wouldn't blame your DH for you falling asleep and missing dinner. And what is wrong with room service?

I work in a hotel and am always baffled at how much people moan when they are away on a leisure trip. I've moaned less staying in a tent whilst pregnant.

Anyway, if you don't feel like you can salvage the trip, I would go home.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/09/2017 07:41

What could have been a bit of great male bonding has turned into an awkward situation.

Wake your dp up and make a plan of what to do today.

Bluntness100 · 03/09/2017 07:47

I was so angry yesterday because I knew this would happen

Of course you did, because you made it happen. You knew you had the ability and you did so.

Myself and DD were left to just wander the streets until we could check in to hotel, she was hot and fed up and overwhelmed by the crowds

You weren't "left. to do anything, you are a grown up, you could have done anything you please. You proactively chose to just wander the streets and make your kid feel unhappy. Even if you can't use Google as you claim, you could have asked at the hotel, and even if things were out of the centre you could have hopped a taxi or public transport.

I think you owe them all an apology.

hiccupgirl · 03/09/2017 07:49

OP I kind of get where you're coming from having a DH with an all encompassing hobby who used to just assume things would be fine for me and DS after dragging us miles around the country. He would then disappear and be completely engrossed and I'd be left trying to entertain a small child in a place all day - like your DH he would want us there so it was a 'family' activity.

I refuse to go with him now and he either takes DS too or goes by himself. In your situation, I would make the best of today but then make it clear that next time you are not going along with your younger child when it's not a fun weekend for you two.

CurlsLDN · 03/09/2017 07:51

Bars that are focussed on booze, where the kitchen closes at e.g. 9pm, won't let children in after that time. But I've never seen a restaurant that stops children in the evening

MissEDashwood · 03/09/2017 07:55

I would try and make today fun. Sorry about yesterday.

MarmaladeIsMyJam · 03/09/2017 07:55

If you were in a big city surely there was lots of things to do, plus loads of places to eat at 9pm, ok maybe not a nice bar etc, but lots of chain restaurants.
How old is your daughter?

MarmaladeIsMyJam · 03/09/2017 07:56

Anyway, there is no way I would have travelled six hours in a car just to attend a sporting event, thats one end of the country to the other!

supermoon100 · 03/09/2017 07:57

I love a little city break with the kids . Sleeping through dinner time and blaming dp is not really fair, do you not have an alarm on your phone and didn't the hotel have room service? It sounds like you were never going to try and enjoy the weekend. But it's not too late to salvage it. As you're there you might as well try and enjoy yourself