To be annoyed at friend giving 14 year old tequila?

[FinallyDecidedOnUserName]

Personally I was fucking livid.

Thoughts please......

Tequila lover here but I would defo do the same and never speak to her again!
That's terrible! She's a grown ass woman why would she give a 14year old tequila with or without the parents permission that's too young for a spirit!!!!

You had the child at a party with adults - why did you do that if you weren't expecting the child to be treated as an adult?

It's actually not that hard to not give young teenagers hard liquor at a party and treating someone like an adult doesn't automatically equal pressuring them into tequila shots.

Feel comforted to know that the majority are on the same page as me.

Very odd - she shouldn't have forced it.
I fondly remember my first Bacardi and Coke aged 14, poured by my older brother at home. So I don't see anything wrong with spirits at 14, but it would have to be a small amount and certainly not forced!!
Your friend sounds crazy and I would have thrown her out too.

The kids could & should have said no but they trust her & tbh don't have any knowledge of alcohol strength. They'll have a shandy or a cider diluted with lemonade but always ask me first if it's ok. Bottom line is she is (was) a trusted family friend (childless) and will have felt it must have been ok because of who it was.

Big chat today about how to say no to a trusted adult. Great.

I assume your dd wanted to drink it? Otherwise, really good opportunity to talk to her about not caving in to drinking/taking stuff due to social pressure.

The kids will have felt it was ok - she should have known it wasn't.

Oh yak! Weird thing to do. Was she trying to be "cool"?

Hopefully it's put them off for life tho. Tequila sucks the boaby. I still have baaad memories.

X posts. Great minds and all that.

You know what, you may have lost a friend, but its a good lesson your kids have learnt.

How to say no with grace is a thing many adults struggle with, 14 sounds like a good age to learn it well given the situations they'll probably end up in at some point.

Sorry you've had a horrible breach of trust

Depends was it in her home? Because it's not actually illegal

just because something is legal doesn't make it OK. I can let my 3 year old watch Game of Thones but it would be a bad idea.

Neutrogena just says shit for a reaction. Best ignored. I know a few alcoholics and they're definitely not under the impression that underage drinking is not that big a deal.

Thank you biscuit - that was a good point. Sad to have to do it.

Op I think what your friend did was wrong but equally I wouldn't give a kid (or young teen) any alcohol, is it possible your friend was stupid a bit confused about rules and acceptability as you do allow your children to drink? Does she have children? How did she react when you asked her to leave?

At my friends baby's christening she caught some asshole friend of her DHs giving the baby (5mths) a drink of wine out of his glass. Unbelievable.

Karate!!

They'd have had to tear me off him...

Very very poor judgment on her part and I would be furious too.

Still turn it into a valuable lesson for your dds op.

i first got puking, passing out drunk aged 8. my parents provided the booze though so a bit different.

i get where you're coming from but i think you over-reacted. your kids your rules though.

We're the 14 year olds really forced it? Or was there their get out clause cover up when they saw your reaction?

I have never let me own dc drink under 18 in front of me never mind supplying someone else's dc!!.
She is a disgrace!

Giving alcohol to an 8 year old until they pass out is child abuse and your parents should have been prosecuted.

Its totally irrelevant whether the 14 year old wanted the alcohol or not! An adults job is to be the adult and protect the child from themselves.

How many paedos whine that the 14 year old was willing or looked older! Frankly disgusting behaviour and your friend is a total idiot.

I'd be livid too and a little annoyed at the other adults in the room. I once got offered a hooka pipe (age 16) by a colleague of my dads. My dad was in the room but didn't see. His friend did and said no thank you on my behalf.
Sometimes others need to step in especially when it's an adult vs young person. It's pretty difficult for a young person to stand up to an adult.

How did this even come about? Your post is very vague.

Was it a party? Or did she randomly take tequila to your house and start doing shots?

I don't think it's right either btw, I'm just trying to picture the scenario

Haha, I read this as your friend gave you tequila that was 14 years old, not that she gave your 14 year old some tequila. My first reading, I was like, eh? But if she gave your 14 year old dc alcohol without your permission then she was definitely being unreasonable.

well i first got drunk about 14 on vodka at a friends house my parents had no idea but tequila is a horrible tasting drink imo .