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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think my son's name isn't that hard to pronounce?

563 replies

SailorByTheSea · 02/09/2017 22:57

Or is this an acceptable pronunciation!?

We live in London, so 'fear' is 1 syllable (this is relevant!)

My son is called Theodore... You know, 3 syllables, 'The-uh-door'?

All he gets is 'fear-door' Angry please tell me that this isn't an acceptable pronunciation? It makes me regret his name massively Sad

OP posts:
GreatFuckability · 02/09/2017 23:32

exactly nancy in the same way when i'm not consciously thinking about about i will pronounce 'ear' as 'yuh' becasyse i'm welsh, and thats how i was brought up saying/hearing it. saying 'ear' is foreign to me, but i do try and say it that way as much as i can so i don't sound stupid and uneducated to my clients

LRDtheFeministDragon · 02/09/2017 23:32
Confused

poppy, I'm really not saying that. I'm not sure how you got to that conclusion.

I was responding to the claim that people who struggle to say this sound, can always learn to do so. I disagreed - and there's plenty of research to back me up. The sound 'th' is quite unusual in European languages. There are plenty of people - in London or not - who never learn to say and it and who struggle to learn to say it when they encounter it. So, it is not merely a matter of practising the mouth shape.

Obviously, London accents vary, and many people say 'th' and hear 'th'. But the OP isn't, I think, talking about people who say 'Theodore'. She's talking about people who don't.

HillaryWinshaw · 02/09/2017 23:33

If "three" and "free" sound the same to you, you need to clean your ears out.

(Fans self rapidly.)

nancy75 · 02/09/2017 23:33

It's not lazy, it is the accent I have grown up with. If I pronounce the th it is very obvious it is not my natural way of speaking

Cakeycakecake · 02/09/2017 23:34

I have a Theodore

He's Theo. Always Theo. But to me it's 'Theo-door' spoken aloud. Emphasis on that gorgeous Theo. And he's a scrummy little beast 😁

LRDtheFeministDragon · 02/09/2017 23:34

great - sorry! Blush I misunderstood you. I thought you were saying it was lazy not to practise.

bruffin · 02/09/2017 23:35

Greatf
No they cant, believe meweve tried, as it is both of them it may be a genetic thing. Ds has the same accent as dd, but dies not have a problem, although he had speach therapy for "f and s" and "c and t"

Cakeycakecake · 02/09/2017 23:35

Oh and I'm in London!

LRDtheFeministDragon · 02/09/2017 23:35

Smile hillary, if you need a fan to calm yourself in a discussion of accents, you need to see a doctor asap.

Argeles · 02/09/2017 23:35

That would really piss me off!

I hate it when you tell people politely how to pronounce a name, such as your own or that of your child, but they just continue with their version, or a half-hearted attempt to pronounce it correctly - it's so disrespectful.

I also can't stand it when someone has a name from another country, and because someone cannot pronounce it properly, or is too lazy to try, they say 'I'll just call you Jim,' for example. I think it's fine if someone wants to shorten their own name, or Anglacise it, but I cannot stand it when British people 'police' people's names and Anglacise them for them - it's downright rude.

I've even had close family do this with my DD's name. They can pronounce it correctly, but choose to pronounce it how they prefer. When I questioned one of them about it, she jokingly told me it was the 'East London' way of pronouncing it, as she originated from there. I reminded her that my DD's name isn't hard to pronounce, even though it isn't British, and that she is almost dividing the name into two names as she and 2 other family members place unnecessary stress and a break on the middle part of her name. The response I received is that 'it sounds too foreign when it's pronounced correctly.' This was coming from my Mum, who gave me a foreign name and has told me of the difficulties she had in getting my Grandparents to pronounce it correctly. And now she's being so hypocritical - I can't believe my ears!

Now the 3 family members tend to say it correctly when I'm in the room, but go back to their own ways when I'm not. Very childish.

Theodore is a lovely name. Please continue to correct people who mispronounce it, and instill in your son the importance of having it pronounced properly, so that he is proactive and tells others (including adults) when they have said it wrong.

LadyFairfaxSake · 02/09/2017 23:39

When he gets to school he's going to be called Ted anyway.

Ummmmgogo · 02/09/2017 23:40

why would he be called ted? that's so random!

GreatFuckability · 02/09/2017 23:40

LRD quite alright, its late and i'm probably making less sense than I should anyway!

bruffin If your DH has had speech therapy, then chances are his struggles stem from childhood issues. i'm a speech therapist by the way, i know many people who can't pronounce certain letters despite practise. i didn't mean to imply that is ALL it takes, its not. All im saying is, its not a physical thing that stops you saying certain letters. My own child finds /S/ impossible despite intensive help from me, but she doesn't have anything structurally wrong that stops it, just weird breathing habits she picked up somewhere!

squoosh · 02/09/2017 23:41

I always think of Teds as being Edwards rather than Theodores.

VinsArmy · 02/09/2017 23:41

I don't live in London but where I live people would pronounce it feardoor. All T's and H's are dropped around here. You can keep correcting people but if it is just the way people talk I am not sure you can do much about it. Sorry Wine

HillaryWinshaw · 02/09/2017 23:42

LRD you're probably right! I'm from the north but no longer live there, and I almost came to blows once over the pronunciation of the word "scone" with a southerner. I'm glad I missed the "Frances" discussion or I may have needed the smelling salts.

(On a more serious note, I think language and communication is very powerful and it's just a personal hot button for me. Don't get me onto loose written communication - textspeak makes me twitch. People who write "ano" for "I know" should be lined up against a wall and shot. Harsh but fair.)

Huppopapa · 02/09/2017 23:42

Hang on.
The mouth shapes for 'f' and for 'th' are completely different. If one was taught another language first then it is understandable that one might not have learned the sounds or be able to distinguish between them (see Polish poster up the thread). The same is true of some Asian languages (most famously Japanese) where the approximation of the 'l' and 'r' sounds have the same value. Equally South American Spanish where 'b' and 'v' are interchangeable.
But sticking with that last example, the mouth shape for 'b' and 'v' are almost identical. In contrast, 'f' does not involve the tongue and both hard and soft 'th's do.
Accordingly, for a native speaker of UK English to be unable to make those sounds indicates either a speech impediment (for which there can be no criticism) or a simple inability to pronounce ones own language. To blame an accent for being unable to pronounce the words 'three' and 'free' is symptomatic of an education system that simply no longer cares who it leaves behind. It is astonishing that some people find no problem with the fact that others will have to interrogate their speech as if they were not native speakers to know what they mean. Why make life difficult for yourself?!

squoosh · 02/09/2017 23:43

'I'm glad I missed the "Frances" discussion or I may have needed the smelling salts.'

I'm happy to link to it if you want to indulge in some retrospective teeth gnashing!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 02/09/2017 23:47

One of the quiz masters on The Chase- dark hair,big chap can't pronounce TH,he says free instead of three etc.

SailorByTheSea · 02/09/2017 23:48

@VinsArmy - but people should be able to use the correct amount of syllables?

OP posts:
Huppopapa · 02/09/2017 23:49

When we lived in a Francophone country my mother, Frances, accepted being called France. Her other two names were simply mangled beyond nails down a blackboard by local rules of pronunciation! Grin

Ummmmgogo · 02/09/2017 23:49

just to upset you all further in lots of parts of the UK Paul, pull, and pool all sound the same.

imnottoofussed · 02/09/2017 23:50

I think a lot of people are missing the syllables point being made by the op.

They are saying feerdoor and it should be fe ar door ( ignoring the th/f problem)

It should still be 3 syllables even if saying f instead of th

nancy75 · 02/09/2017 23:51

Paul. Pull & Pool sound much the same to me. Pull is slightly different but Paul & pool are the same word

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 02/09/2017 23:51

but people should be able to use the correct amount of syllables?

Pot, kettle, blackWink

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