I have worked at a medium sized company for 8 years now. This colleague (male) had been there longer than me. We have been mates pretty much right from the start, never more than that. I have been with my DH and he with his DW since we started working together, so boundaries should be very clear. Our families have socialised together, though not much - we have been invited to his DDs first birthday, they came to one of my birthday parties. But we're not particularly close overall. I have two toddlers and he has a toddler and a newborn.
Here's what happened: his new baby is 3 weeks old and he has just returned from paternity leave. He invited the office to wet the baby's head in Thursday night. Around 10 people came, me included.
The night was fun, we talked a bit, had a few drinks. When I left there was around 5 people still at te pub. I was rushing for my last train and my colleague offered to pay me for a cab (context: I have never accepted anything like this from him though he has offered in the past).
When I got to my station, I texted him the following:
"arrived at xxx, all good. Had a great time tonight, DDs head has been well wetted."
His reply: "we're playing darts. Wish you were here."
Me: "trust me, you don't want me there when playing darts!"
Colleague: "I want you there always."
I didn't reply, but it stopped me in my tracks.
To add more context: I have felt in the past that he was crossing lines. Like telling me about problems in the relationship between him and his wife. And I thought in the past that he was getting a bit 'intimate' when drunk, as in wanting to talk only to me for too long etc. I have never felt the need to say anything as it was nothing obvious. He has had a difficult upbringing and I thought perhaps I was someone he was able to share things with. I think I was being naive.
Anyway. I replied to his text the next morning saying that I felt it was out of line and had made me feel uncomfortable.
He replied saying that it wasn't meant that way, he just meant he liked having me around.
Then he asked if we were still up for hanging out on Saturday (we had made some plans to meet up with the families to meet his new baby). I said I wasn't sure and could I let him know that evening (it was a Friday).
A few hours later he replied saying he didn't understand my reaction and that he "talked like that to all his mates". He then cancelled the hangout. Which was a relief. It would have been really awkward obviously.
Did I completely overreact and mislead the signs here? I just felt that if i had seen a text like that on my DHs phone from one of his colleagues it would have made me really suspicious! I also didn't really feel like he was being kind to his wife, so the idea of facing her for a family hangout felt wrong.
What's your verdict?