Please Dad, fix the shower! :(

[JustAteenLivingonEarth]

Hi, (this is my first post) I found mn and thought it would be ok to post here. I'm posting for adult opinions on this and I'd like to know whether or not AIBU.

For context, I live with both my parents (both in their 50's if this makes a difference & been married4over10yrs).
I'm 18, and pay housekeeping to my Mum each week. I go to college and have a 2 part time jobs - a paper round and I wash up in a busy restaurant.

About a year ago our shower broke in the bathroom. So instead of fixing it, we've got this shower spray attachment which hooks onto the bath taps. We have been using this ALL year.

No problem except I can't have a bath because the attachment is hard to get off and my Mum gets annoyed if I attempt to take it off.
It is only one part that needs replacing! I'd pay for it myself. We don't have a plumber because my Dad is the plumber and runs his own plumbing business.

He refuses to fix it because the "attachment has done wonders for the water bill". The house only has heating because after 6 years of living in the house my Aunt basically made him do it in front of her.

AIBU to want the proper shower fixing? :( Will I get to have a bath this year?
oops just realised i typed a lot...sorry.

Could you not use the shower spray attachment to fill up the bath?

ScrumpyBetty its a mixer one with not very many holes, and our taps don't have many turns in them. It takes a while to even wash my hair.

For more context we're not exactly well off but we manage. Not that it matters or anything.

i feel your frustration.
agree, just fill up the bath with the shower head though.

What does your mum think about it (and him)? Have you actually sat down all together and talked about this? If not that might be the way forward.

From my POV he sounds borderline financially abusive, controlling you all for the sake of the bills, stopping basic things like heating and being able to wash. But what's he like generally - is he usually generous over stuff, is it that money's just a bit tight?

(On the plus side you should be able to get out in a few years - save up as much money as you can and get away! Also what about boiling the kettle ten times over and putting all that in with the slow water?)

Your dad is being a complete arse but unfortunately that's not something you can change.
Can you afford to move out? Houseshare maybe?
Go to Aunt's for a bath?

Oh dear you tripped fell , pulled the shower attachment off and accidently dropped a sledgehammer on the whole lot breaking it all int a thousand tiny pieces. Might have to replace with these shiney new taps and delux shower head

I Agree he sounds Incredibly tight and controlling and financially abusive

If you pay some board, is it enough to pay for a room as a lodger? That might be worth researching.

Yabu, your Mum and Dad pays the bills, and it's there property.

You can always move out.

I usually find that if I google how to do a repair and be vocal about it that my OH usually gets scared that I'm going to do a better job than he can ...and decides to do it himself

How much housekeeping do you pay?

Even though its hard to get off, are you able to get the attachment back on after you take it off?

Save up and get Mum to get a plumber in - he will be so embarrassed he will do it straight away next time. Or fix it yourself via utube - ours was leaking and I removed all tiles reaffixed and regrouted all via utube - marvellous invention

NormaStuff I guess i will atempt that. Can't be worse than a laptop waiting to load

Abacuss he def isn't that. My parents share their money.
My mums fine about it and doesn't mind tbh. Our house is pretty normal. And he's just my Dad. . He started up the business because he wanted more time at home due to his old work I think overworking him and not paying him.
Yeah they're usually very generous, like they pay for everything like necessities a teen would have.

I think you'll just have to make do until you can move out. Your parents are happy with what they have, as inconvenient as it is.

By the way, those bath tap attachments go on and off much more easily if you use some shampoo or shower gel to lubricate its attaching ends

I still don't see why you can't use the shower head to fill the bath - it's going to have the same volume/temperature of water coming through it as the taps would without it - the shower head doesn't reduce the amount of water that the taps are putting out.

Being as your Aunt helped get the heating sorted is there any way she could find out about the shower and help out with it?

And for what it's worth well done you College and 2 part time jobs,I hope your Dad listens to sense and sorts it out for you all.

My husband used to be a chimney sweep. He kept putting off cleaning our own chimney, so I told him I'd call a rival sweep and get them to do it, unless ours was swept smartish.
It worked. Could you threaten to book another plumber and hope the threat of professional humiliation works?

Maybe this is time to start saving a deposit to move out? You can't force your parents how to run their home.

Fill up with a bucket from the bathroom sink

Gannicus £15 a week but mum said it won't change too much unless I earn a so much more. Considering I work part time I earn more than my Dad does atm. I don't know, I don't really want to move out, or know much would a lodger would pay. I haven't had a bath since I attempted to take it off the first time.

RB68 it may come to what you said tbh :) We may have guests coming over to stay soon.

Thanks for the replies so far. (trying not to dripfeed) I may also say my parents have always been very supportive (and caring) of my choices mostly its just this which has been bothering me.

Ah well in that case I think you can only talk to them and ask again (maybe he doesn't get how much it bothers you); and keep saving up ready to one day rent/run your own place. Hopefully not too long!

I'd just get someone else to do it or do it myself.

Sometimes perfectly reasonable non-abusive people do get a bit weird and disproportionate about some money stuff. I know I'm very irrational about some things.

Clearly if nobody is able to have a bath and it's no fun to linger in the shower then the household water and heating bills will be noticeably lower. If it (understandably) matters to you, but not to anyone else in the house, can you ask for your DF to fix the shower as a birthday present to you and then pay additional rent specifically to cover the cost of water and energy for baths?

If everything else is fine it would be a shame to go to the extortionate expense of moving out at your age for something so fixable.

Have you offered to pay dig money to cover the difference in the water bill and for the parts/new shower if you dad fits it?

If you earn more than your dad and only pay £15 digs that would be reasonable.

ShatnersBassoon that's interesting - will take note of it

ohtheholidays ijustwannadance they were fine with me telling her except i'd have to travel 4 hours for a bath, lol.

ZippyCameBack yep that sounds exactly like my Dad

Babymama they saved me quite a bit so I'll be using that

abacuss yes one day soon - currently saving up for driving lessons atm :)

the shower head doesn't reduce the amount of water that the taps are putting out.

Yes it can. It can choke the water supply coming from the tap, in the same way turning the tap slightly closed can do.