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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

home schooling year 11 son

154 replies

barbsbarbs · 02/09/2017 16:29

I have just made the scary decision to honeschool my son for five gcses from next week, He has failed badly at school, always in trouble and bunks off all the itme. Thsi way I know he will get some education. Any ideas? Also does anyone have any links etc to find out the gcse curriculum.

OP posts:
hidrata · 03/09/2017 17:02

Do give it a rest now, Copperbeech Hmm

Somerville · 03/09/2017 17:03

Arf at iGCSE better than nothing. The independent school near me, from which a quarter of the pupils get into Oxbridge, do those lowly old IGCSES.

hidrata · 03/09/2017 17:05

My child's independent school do them also. I don't know what percentage get into Oxbridge though, embarrassed to say. I'll check

hidrata · 03/09/2017 17:09

Can't see it. They're in the top 50 secondary schools (I'm not going to be more precise) in the country though, for exam results.

titchy · 03/09/2017 17:10

The independent school near me, from which a quarter of the pupils get into Oxbridge, do those lowly old IGCSES.

Yes but of course Oxbridge won't be looking at the Level 2 qualifications, only their Level 3, and clearly those iGCSEs won't be rigorous enough for A levels, IBAC, pre-U. Oh wait....Wink

hidrata · 03/09/2017 17:17
Grin
hidrata · 03/09/2017 17:18

Oxbridge standards have clearly slipped except they haven't Wink

Phosphorus · 03/09/2017 17:22

Copperbeech now seems to think that schooled children taking IGCSEs don't do practical work. Confused

There is an alternative to practical paper, useful for home educators, but most schools do loads of lab work, certainly private ones.

There is no way they are years behind in the lab. Grin

Many home educators to plenty of lab work too!

HarHer · 03/09/2017 17:32

I apologise for posting again. i do not want to hog the thread. However, please speak to the school and the SEN department of your Local Authority. After seven years of struggling, the school/LA should be doing something.

My son refused school due to mental health difficulties and he made the most progress when the local PRU began to send a regular tutor. The tutor built up a relationship with my son and he began to attend the PRU.

I just wish my son had attended the PRU sooner. He was given 1:1 tuition, but most importantly, someone began to work with him to find strategies through which he could manage his emotions a little better and he began to make one or two positive relationships with other young people.

He took 2 GCSEs and the grades matter less than the fact that he actually sat the formal examinations.

Our next battle is college. His anxiety levels are high, but at least we have the positive experience of the PRU to refer to.

Finally, does your son have a passion? If he is fascinated by cars or fitness, there are vocational courses that he may aspire to or, as another poster suggested, he may be able to access these through the 14-16 curriculum at college.

Good luck anyway.

Copperbeech33 · 03/09/2017 19:59

Copperbeech now seems to think that schooled children taking IGCSEs don't do practical work.

many of them don't, many of them turn up to sixth form years behind on practical work, literally unable to safely light a bunsen or fill a burette

titchy · 03/09/2017 20:06

Copper how are you helping the OP?

SummerKelly · 03/09/2017 20:08

many of them don't, many of them turn up to sixth form years behind on practical work, literally unable to safely light a bunsen or fill a burette

It's amazing how all the poor little home ed kids ever manage to become functioning adults at all really, isn't it? Hmm

hidrata · 03/09/2017 20:19

You obviously have no idea what you're talking about, as becomes clearer with every post, Copperbeech. Do stop pedalling nonsense, it's not helpful to the OP or anyone else who may be reading.

Unable to fill a burette indeed! Pathetic attempt at derailing the thread.

Copperbeech33 · 03/09/2017 20:22

How can I have no idea what I'm talking about when this is what i do for living!?

As I said, sorry if you don't like what I say. I am giving information, if you don't like to hear the truth, nothing I can do about that.

I suspect there are people on this thread who have children in expensive private schools who just don't like being told iGCSEs are run because they are cheaper, and easier to pass.

Ttbb · 03/09/2017 20:27

I would strongly reccomend find an online school of looking for a different school. I have known many rather stupid people who have managed straight As because they have had good teachers.

titchy · 03/09/2017 20:27

Sure you do copper, sure you do....

hidrata · 03/09/2017 20:28

I suspect there are people on this thread who have children in expensive private schools who just don't like being told iGCSEs are run because they are cheaper, and easier to pass.

That would be me I suppose? No, not at all. I'm quite aware of the facts, as are some other posters. Somebody with a chip on their shoulder and an axe to grind giving out inaccurate and misleading information, to people who may not know much about IGCSEs, is what bothers me.

How can I have no idea what I'm talking about when this is what i do for living!?

What do you do for a living?

Holliewantstobehot · 03/09/2017 22:24

Is your son under camhs? I would recommend phoning sendiass or parent partnership and finding out where you stand.

My ds is just going into year nine and has asd and anxiety. Last year his attendance was 40%. As a result the school completed a home tutor referral which camhs countersigned. We are giving ds 3 weeks to see if he can make a fresh start (ds wants this) but if he can't cope home tutoring will start.

The idea is he is tutored one to one in maths, English and possibly science at home. Once he has built up a good rapport with the tutor and has his confidence back he will start having his tutor time in a children's centre, then eventually the same tutor will teach him one to one at school and he will transition back to classes.

There may not be time for your son to transfer back to school but at least if his maths and English are taken care of you could help him with a couple of other subjects yourself and he would still be under the school so would take his exams there.

I believe sendiass can have someone come to a meeting with school with you to help you and also to spell out to the school their legal requirements.

SpringTown46 · 04/09/2017 08:39

Strange how the re-vamped GCSE maths specifications are considered harder than the old GCSEs. They now include topics previously only in the IGCSE, which was traditionally thought more vigourous than GCSE.

Copper, you are extrapolating from narrow experience and a limited sample set.

TheGoodEnoughWife · 04/09/2017 09:46

Get him out of school!

Come and join the not so scary world of home education. Lots of crap on this thread.

iGCSEs are often seen as harder than GCSEs. They are not a 'better than nothing' qualification.

The poster who said that home education in secondary was a red flag and serious cause for concern was the single most annoying and disturbing post I have ever read on here.

I have just finished ten years of home educating my daughter. Who has a a mix of GCSE (maths) and iGCSE (Biology, Human Biology, English, Business Studies, Geography) taken over three years and good grades obtained.
She has just enrolled in college on a level 3 course and they could have not made it clearer than wanted her there.
They weren't concerned about the English being an iGCSE because they are not stupid. They love the well rounded individual she is with other achievements she has.

Some people feel you should send your child to school no matter what. Never mind if their mental health is suffering, never mind that LOTS of children leave school without great grades - just keep stuffing them in the one size fits all box.

Get him out. Spend the next year building him back up. Start some study. Get maths and English. Keep him safe. It will be okay.

PM if you wish.

hidrata · 04/09/2017 11:12

The poster who said that home education in secondary was a red flag and serious cause for concern was the single most annoying and disturbing post I have ever read on here.

People just ignored, which is what it deserved, such a goady, ignorant post. And I'm not even a home educator!

SummerKelly · 04/09/2017 11:24

She has just enrolled in college on a level 3 course and they could have not made it clearer than wanted her there. They weren't concerned about the English being an iGCSE because they are not stupid. They love the well rounded individual she is with other achievements she has

Absolutely my experience of HE kids and education too.

Celtickitten · 04/12/2017 20:57

Barbsbarbs - how are you getting on? I've come across this thread three months later. We took our 16 year old son off school roll 3 weeks ago to home educate as he was threatened with permenent exclusion after a single stupid mistake but has also been gradually disengaging for years. It's been the most stressful situation ever. We are submitting him for just 5 GCSEs and have only just worked out that these will need to be IGCSEs for the sciences as sorting out somewhere for him to do the science practicals won't be possible. We have engaged 5 tutors and so far he is more focused and positive than we've seen him in ages. I wish we'd done it ages ago - though in a much more planned way, as his school just hasn't been working for him. I wish you all the very best Op - I think it sounds like you've done the right thing and like so many posts have said, life's not always a straight line and there are different paths to get to the right place. Good luck to your son.

beingamumgivesyougreyhair · 02/05/2018 11:14

Hi Barbs,
You are doing the right thing for your son, if the system isn't working for him, then something has to change. Don't get disparaged by negative comments, if you have the determination and do your research by checking out the links suggested by other posters above, it will lead you to yet more links and plenty of advice from supportive people in a similar situation and before you know it you will feel much more confident. Information is empowering!

Also, when home educating, you can choose when to take the exams, so regardless of your child's age, you take them when he is ready. Perhaps start from the beginning of the IGCSE syllabus (yr10) there are so many websites that offer IGCSE courses online both by correspondence with tutor support and / or live lessons. If you can afford it maybe find a good online private tutor for each subject, for some 1-1 sessions (usually over Skype). If you choose one of the good online schools / tutors you won't need to be a genius to support your son with his education. Just make sure he has a good internet connection and a daily school routine, does homeworks or asks the tutor for help if he doesn't understand. Work at a pace and level that suits him, and he will soon make progress.

If you child was skipping school maybe he felt overwhelmed, got behind in class and it snowballed, knocking his confidence which may have led to him feeling low self esteem, anger etc... it's a common pattern for many kids.
He is very lucky to have a mum like you to help him, I'm sure you will both find your way through this. :)

taratill · 02/05/2018 12:09

OP I am sorry that your son is anxious at school. I have recently taken my DS who is 11 (year 7) out of school after 2 years of extreme anxiety. He has ASD and anxiety disorder and I don't think he will return to school as it is the wrong environment for him to learn (anxiety inducing). He has been out 2 months now, his mental health has massively improved as has his desire for learning. If he had stayed at mainstream school he would not get any formal qualifications and might well not have survived as he has been having suicidal thoughts. That is with a full EHCP.

Some of this thread has really worried me though. My DS is academically capable and I hope that in time he will do IGCSE's because he has anxiety disorder and ASD I was thinking of doing a few at a time but I don't want to limit his academic potential. Surely it should be a 'reasonable adjustment' in those circumstances to accept IGCSE's taken over a period?