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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Keeping babies away from family member with shingles....aibu?

42 replies

candypanda283 · 02/09/2017 15:18

To cut to the chase, a family member had a shingles vaccine 6 months ago and has since had a rash. One GP said the rash is a rare reaction and is essentially shingles and contagious. According to family member a practice nurse has since said that is incorrect and most likely dermatitis.
I have since given birth and family member is moaning that they've not met the babies. When I gave birth i asked on NICU and the paed said to wait until the rash is gone before taking the babies to family member. I have also asked another GP at the surgery who said it is not worth the risk especially as they were premature.
We are now facing a lot of pressure from the family. He had a referral to a dermatologist to get more answers but not convinced they are being honest with us as they are dodging questions all the time and coming out with "everyone has to get chickenpox at some point" which is correct but I have 3 drs under 2. What should I do?

OP posts:
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 02/09/2017 15:21

I agree, definitely not with the risk, especially not with a newborn.

kaytee87 · 02/09/2017 15:23

2 doctors have advised you to keep the baby away, surely your family member isn't so selfish as to go against that advice just because they want a hold of a baby.

Babyblues14 · 02/09/2017 15:23

I would stay away if I was you. I work in care and was not allowed to go to certain patients even when I was pregnant as it was a risk of contracting shingles from them. Do what you think is right. I was only allowed to go back to those patients once the rash had cleared and they had finished the antibiotic they were using to treat it. Let them get as annoyed as they like, it's not anyone's fault but it's better to be safe than sorry xx

Looneytune253 · 02/09/2017 15:23

Look into it further though as I'm sure shingles is only contagious on contact? They're allowed to go to school/nursery if the rash can be covered?

Blueroses99 · 02/09/2017 15:25

Not worth risking the babies health, especially if premature as they just don't have the defences. On discharge from NICU we were told to avoid people coming round if they had just a cold so you could just blame the doctors advice of restricting visitors. The effect of catching anything let alone shingles could be devastating and I'm horrified that you have a close family member willing to knowingly put your babies lives at risk.

smellybeanpole · 02/09/2017 15:26

What's wrong with some people. Their needs are more important then the babies health ? Just tell them you will wait till the rash has disappeared then will let them know if they can visit. I didn't let a family member to visit my newb till her cold sore had completely gone.

Birdsgottafly · 02/09/2017 15:27

I get recurring bouts of Shingles and stay away from people for the first few days, i feel crap anyway.

I was told by my Consultant, who I see for another condition that as long as the rash doesn't touch anyone, it can't be caught.

I have had two Grandchildren born whilst having Shingles and have been told that there isn't any concerns.

However if you have had specific advise from a Pediatrician then that is different. But I don't see how someone could have Shingles for six months without being give anti-viral medication.

I should imagine that the Doctor was thinking that the rash would be gone within two weeks.

Original poster
candypanda283 · 02/09/2017 15:27

looneytune the gp said it is spread by coughs and sneezes too :(

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 02/09/2017 15:29

"The effect of catching anything let alone shingles "

You can't catch Shingles and it won't be active Shingles after six months.

OP where is the rash?

Aquamarine1029 · 02/09/2017 15:29

Too damn bad they can't see the baby. They will just have to deal with it. You would be crazy to ignore your doctor and risk your baby's health just because a relative is acting like a spoilt child.

Notevilstepmother · 02/09/2017 15:30

You are following the advice of a doctor. Until they actually know what is wrong then it seems as well to be cautious.

Glumglowworm · 02/09/2017 15:30

With a premie newborn I really wouldn't risk it. Your babies health is a million times more important than offending an adult family member.

Yes it may be dermatitis and yes it may be fine if covered. It's probably quite a low risk of catching it. But quite a high risk of serious illness if the baby does catch it. But the adult will suffer exactly zero ill effects from not seeing your baby. Whereas your baby could have terrible effects if they see your relative and catch something.

user1489094655 · 02/09/2017 15:32

I currently have shingles, it is horrible and if you haven't had chicken pox you can catch chicken pox from shingles, you can get a second bout of chicken pox from someone with shingles if they had a mild case of pox the first time.

As I have no idea of anyone's health status, immune system etc, I have been at home for 9 days.

It is a risk no worth taking. To put it bluntly, the rush to see newborn babies, could quite easily land them in hospital with life long health problems or worse for a matter of a month or so!

Pizzaexpressreview · 02/09/2017 15:32

That's bizarre. We were told shingles only spread on contact with the spot (unlike chicken pox) so once child was covered (t shirt) they were fine to go around people!

Butterymuffin · 02/09/2017 15:36

No, the adult can wait a few weeks rather than decide to put a tiny baby at risk for their own convenience.

dementedpixie · 02/09/2017 15:46

Lots of misinformation here! You don't catch shingles from someone with shingles, it is the reactivation of the chicken pox virus you had in the past.

Chicken pox can be caught from shingles but only by direct contact with fluid from the blisters. If the rash can be covered and the person with shingles doesn't touch them and then touch someone else then it is very unlikely to cause chicken pox

Children and adults can go to school/work with shingles as long as they feel ok and the rash can be covered

Original poster
candypanda283 · 02/09/2017 15:47

My babies are actually 5 months old now and family are saying it's ridiculous. I just don't know what to do and they don't seem to be very forthcoming with answers..

OP posts:
Pizzaexpressreview · 02/09/2017 15:49

So for 5 months you've not seen her due to a rash that is thought to be shingles?

My daughters shingles didn't last that long. It seems a very long time not to see a relative . Can they just cover up?

Blueroses99 · 02/09/2017 15:52

Birdsgottafly a little pedantic there...

Even if it is not active shingles, no one knows for sure what it is, and as the mother of a preemie, my instinct, as well as the medical advice, is to be super cautious. I couldn't knowingly expose my little one to anything. Risks to premature babies are different (greater?) than for healthy term babies.

DumbledoresApprentice · 02/09/2017 15:53

It's been 5 months? Shingles doesn't last 5 months and even if it was the advice for shingles is to avoid contact with unvaccinated pregnant women, premature or sick babies and immunosuppressed people. I think it's probably time the family member got to meet the baby, I'd ask them to keep the rash covered just in case though.

Original poster
candypanda283 · 02/09/2017 15:54

I'm just so frightened. They've both just been in hospital after a simple cold they caught off a different family member. My first son would just brush a cold off but my preemies seem to end up with a bad case of everything they catch. I don't want to avoid the family member but I have only just had my babies being tube fed for a week and it really caught me off guard.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 02/09/2017 15:55

Shingles rash lasts 2-4 weeks. How long have they had this rash?

RedPepperYellowPepper · 02/09/2017 15:56

coming out with "everyone has to get chickenpox at some point" which is correct

Not true. I had my DTs vaccinated.

dementedpixie · 02/09/2017 15:56

If they have had the rash for months then it hasn't shingles. Can't believe you haven't let them see the babies for 5 months!

dementedpixie · 02/09/2017 15:57

You can still get chicken pox even with the vaccine