Keeping babies away from family member with shingles....aibu?

[candypanda283]

To cut to the chase, a family member had a shingles vaccine 6 months ago and has since had a rash. One GP said the rash is a rare reaction and is essentially shingles and contagious. According to family member a practice nurse has since said that is incorrect and most likely dermatitis.
I have since given birth and family member is moaning that they've not met the babies. When I gave birth i asked on NICU and the paed said to wait until the rash is gone before taking the babies to family member. I have also asked another GP at the surgery who said it is not worth the risk especially as they were premature.
We are now facing a lot of pressure from the family. He had a referral to a dermatologist to get more answers but not convinced they are being honest with us as they are dodging questions all the time and coming out with "everyone has to get chickenpox at some point" which is correct but I have 3 drs under 2. What should I do?

sorrt. A bit confused. Babies are 5 months and your relative only recently has got shingles. Or your relative had it when they were born and till now haven't seen them ?

I don't think you're being ridiculous OP. Covering up may not be good advice if it turns out to be something else that is contagious. Having kept said relative away from the babies, would they follow advice not to touch the babies. If they are now 5 months old, what is their corrected age? My DD is 4.5 months old but her due date was only 4 weeks ago so she is a newborn really.

family are saying it's ridiculous. Well fuck them.

I'm just so frightened. They've both just been in hospital after a simple cold they caught off a different family member. Understandable and the right reaction from you.

Don't doubt yourself.

So they had the vaccine 6 months ag, 5 months ago I had the babies. Since then every 2 weeks they seem to keep getting this blistery rash the goes then comes back again. They said because of her age she can't fight off the virus properly, and she was given medication (don't know what as doesn't want to share) but she has declined it.

You can't catch chicken pox from shingles unless you touch a burst blister/wound.

That sounds horrible, I really do feel for you, but I think you're probably overestimating the risk. A rash that's stuck around for 5 months just doesn't sound like shingles. Dermatitis sounds more likely and shingles is far less contagious than chicken pox or a common cold. How close is the family member? If it's a second cousin twice removed I'd probably say no, but if we're talking about a grandfather or uncle then I think 5 months is a long time to have gone without meeting them.

Just seen your update, that does sound more like shingles could be a possibility if it's been going and then coming back.

With premature babies, OP, I would say you are definitely NBU here .

Don't risk it. Shingles can be really nasty, i had Ramsey Hunt shingles and was in critical care. I wouldn't put your premature babies health at risk. It sounds like there is more going on with your relatives health if she has reoccurring shingles from a vaccine.

Even if it is shingles you can't catch chicken pox from shingles unless you rub the fluid from the blisters over the baby.

I had shingles a couple of years ago and Occy Health let me go to work asa midwife delivering babies.....rash was on my hip so totally covered and they said there was no risk.

Usually I'm the first to cry 'PFB' but I think in this case you should stick to your guns, OP. The baby isn't a tub of ice cream that you have to dole out "fairly" to everyone - no one has a right to contact. And you have been advised BY A DOCTOR not to let your baby have contact until the rash clears up. Even if everyone on the internet said "Oh, shingles isn't contagious unless you rub the baby on the rash/past the first two weeks/if there's an R in the month, etc" that doesn't mean you have to override what an actual doctor told you during a consultation.

The family member should get their rash sorted, and the rest of the family should stop saying witless things like "everyone needs to get chicken pox sometime" bc a) no they don't and b) certainly not when they're a newborn. FFS.

So your relative was offered antiviral medication, and refused it?

If the rash is caused by the virus and comes back every two weeks, which sounds like something caused by a virus + weak immune system, something should be done about it!

I wouldn't take the risk. Perhaps when the baby is a year old or so. Chicken pox isn't that dangerous to children. (But I've often heard that it is much more dangerous to adults who never had it)

I was only allowed to go back to those patients once the rash had cleared and they had finished the antibiotic they were using to treat it.

Since when is chicken pox OR shingles treated with antibiotics?

I really dont think you;re being precious, set up Skype for them. Dont trust them to be around but not touch, they dont sound sensible.

I remember when my friend had her baby. We'd had it planned for a while when I was going to see her/meet baby etc and were really looking forward to it!

I got an eye infection is both my eyes the day before. I didn't want to risk giving it to her or her baby, so we rescheduled (she lives far). We did skype and she emailed me some pictures of baby in the meantime - can you do that?

I don't have children myself, but i'm quite cautious of passing illnesses/infections on to others. My other friend came to meet me a while back, sat down etc and as leaving, she said 'Oh, I've got chicken pox by the way, hope you've had it'

I've had shingles recently (at 25 weeks pg, which was fun).

You can catch chicken pox by coming into contact with the oozing rash (delightful!) but otherwise should be OK, I didn't even have time off work.

A few months later there's still a shadow of a rash on my side and when baby decides to hang out over there and stretch the skin it hurts, I've had to take paracetamol. I could well believe that someone with a poor immune system could struggle to get rid of the virus. I was also told that the anti virals only work if you start them within 3 days of the rash appearing so I wasn't even offered them.

I think YWBU in general to not let a relative with diagnosed shingles where the rash was fading (had crusted and scabbed already) and covered AND the child was older and less vulnerable meet. I think if I was in your position with preemies with weaker immune systems I'd also be hesitant. I think I'd be waiting until the babies are older and stronger tbh.

Don't let them near your babies. Explain the babies have very low immunity and as such you'll skype them or sort a videocall or whatever, but there will be no physical contact until you are assured by a medical professional that they cannot pass anything on to your children.

If whatever the relative has is recurring after short periods of time, then there's something amiss and I wouldn't want my low immunity children exposed to it, whatever it is. Particularly as said rellies are being so woolly about the infection all the time.

There's no way I'd let anyone that may possibly be contagious (and we don't know if the OP's relative is being careful with the rash, i.e. touching it and then not washing hands etc) near premature babies. I hope your twins are doing well OP.