To ask if sick kid should miss party

[partypooper14]

Name changed as could be quite telling. Party is this weekend.

I know I'm not BU. Posting for traffic/advice

If your kid has a D&V bug less than 48hrs before a party they shouldn't attend, even if they feel better that day. It's just a shitty thing to do (excuse the pun) to go to a party knowingly spreading your germs. Said family have previous on this btw. Whole circle of friends and our kids fell ill within 24hrs of previous infested party.

But here's a question - who should it fall on to resolve if selfish parent of sick child is not prepared for their PFB to miss the party?

• Birthday party kids mum? i.e. "I'm sorry but I think it's best if (kid) doesn't come on this occasion..I'll save a party bag"

• other mums to tell the sicky mum, alleviate stress on party organiser mum?

• other mums just keep quiet and their choice to not attend if sicky child attends?

Don't want to be a dick about it and feel bad for party organiser parent, but will also be furious if toddler or I get sick, from a party that lurgy kid was not kept home from.

Worth also noting two of the mums are pregnant and with toddlers already, so knowingly attending and risking passing D&V to expectant mums is just mean right?

Or should those who are not happy with this just miss it?

It is the parent's responsibility not to bring a sick child. After that it gets a bit more foggy, but as a hosting parent I might say something.

I took dd1 to a party where an obviously sick child committed on the party table (not the birthday girl). Nearly the whole reception class were subsequently sick. No idea why some people are such idiots!

Committed = vomitted

Pre-emptuce text
Hi selfish party mum,
Sorry we won't see sick vommy child at the party, we'll save a party bag for when they're no longer contagious.

Pre-emptive
Don't know what my phone is up to

If I was the hosting parent I would say something, but I'm not.

Do you think it would be ok to tell hosting parent that we are reluctant to attend for said reason - and hope that they do something. Or is that mean as they already have stress of hosting without having this added to their plate?

Ahhh don't know what's the best approach

Sounds rational Dozen but don't think I can send it as not host :(

I hate it when people do this. My child has had multiple operations and a badly timed cold or tummy bug could mean one of his operations being postponed and him getting really ill. It should be up to the child's parents to do the right thing and keep their child away but if they won't I think anyone could tell them, it doesn't matter who.

It's up,to the parent not to bring the child to the party.

If parent does bring child, I think it's up,to,the party host.

It's not that hard.

A quick phone call from the host " I'm sorry to hear Fred is poorly so will be missing the party, hope he feels better soon"

If other parent says anything other than "thank you for calling see younwhen he's not contagious" you get to call her a dick

That's awful ellie :( sorry for you to go through that.

So I should just find the guts to say something? I wouldn't be perceived to be out of line? I'm a natural worried... don't want to tread on hosts toes.

Not that fussed about attending to be honest but already know of several families not going due to other commitments so feel obliged to attend so numbers aren't sad (plus we already accepted and that's just as rude to not go when you have accepted, they will have paid for our DS's place)

Ok thanks all.
Feel better that I'm not being precious about things.

Should I call host parent in the morning then and ask them to make the call to sicky parent?

Or should I approach sicky parent?

Are you close enough to sicky parent to send a text like "So sorry to hear DC is ill, we'll miss him/her at the party tomorrow! Hope s/he's better soon x"?

I think it has to be the host parent who tells sicky parent. If you do it, she's liable to say that her kid is going because the invitation hasn't been withdrawn. Plus only this host parent has the authority to say the kid isn't coming into the house whilst she's infectious.

Thanks Ceto

Historia I was going to try something like that today but then she (sicky mum) sent an update to the group msg we have to say kid was much better today... it was quite telling that she had no intention of missing out.

She has track record of being dismissive of this sort of problem and has a case of FOMO too!

Hence why I think direct action is required, because she won't 'get it' herself. But was afraid to approach the situation without a bit of MN guidance. (Was expecting to be told I was being precious to be honest, so am grateful for the support!)

I recently told a 'friend' that she should not be attending a toddler group the morning after being sick the afternoon before. Her whole family had a d&v bug. A friend was with me but was too chicken to say anything even though she completely agreed with me. The 'friend' left to go home but now is a bit frosty with me but I know what I did was right. She also did that posting on fb later on in the day saying she was feeling better.

Maybe post on the group message reiterating the 48 hour rule and pointing out that even though child is feeling better, they're still contagious.

Historia I was going to try something like that today but then she (sicky mum) sent an update to the group msg we have to say kid was much better today... it was quite telling that she had no intention of missing out.

If there's a group message I'd write back saying '(poorly child) will still be contagious won't they?? Those v&d bugs tend to linger and spread. Not sure we'll be able to come as I don't want to risk dc catching a d&v bug'

I'd say it's the host parent's job to contact sicky child's mum. But it would be my responsibility to pull my child from the party if I found that sicky child was in attendance because host parent didn't put their foot down.

What I'd do about the cost of my child's place would depend. If host parent didn't have a problem with sicky child being there or was too chicken to call, then they can suck up the costs of the no shows.

to be honest I wouldnt fuck about and I am sure it is my personal experience.

I went to a party where a child turned up who had had D&V (didn't know this at the time) on the Saturday, I was feeling fine on the Sunday, but came down with it in the evening. I had had lunch with my sister on the Sunday who has very little immune system, it kept me down for a week, she ended up in hospital.

You don't know everyones personal life, you don't know who interacts with who

Christ. Selfish fuckers. I am emetophobic and there is no way on God's earth I'd be going anywhere near that party. Don't care who I offend.

Another emetophobe here and if ill child went I would not go. If the host won't tell the mum not to come along then stay away. Drives me mad when people are sdo selfish

I'd leave a message as above on the group chat thingy and would also speak with host Mum and ask her to call her.

This makes me furious; I too am Emetephobic and I probably wouldn't be going.

I haven't missed this kind of selfish bastard twattery at all during these summer holidays. Jeez, it's back to school next week. Why would the parent risk spreading it round so much?

Selfish bastards.

People are so bloody selfish. Like others have said, I'd say something like 'do you want us to make a party bag for XX since he won't be able to come, what with him not being 48 hours post sickness'

obviously not that clumsy tho

Just don't do it selfish fu**ers. Someone brought an ill baby to a first birthday, ill baby vomitted on the way over. Result? Mother of the birthday child and all the other babies being sick for a week with enterovirus. One baby seriously ill with it. So selfish!!