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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Teenage party bouncing

77 replies

Dollyparton3 · 01/09/2017 12:50

Sooooo, two friends of ours recently separated and are currently waging the war to be the most popular parent with their only child. So far this has involved an extortionate level of spending, running around, lavish holidays etc.

Now they've decided to throw her a sweet 16 bash (thanks for that, we told ours that it wasn't a thing a couple of months back when it was her turn). This includes village hall hire, a DJ, will undoubtedly have her arriving in a gold carriage pulled by unicorns.

So far there are 60 teens invited. We (a mutual bunch of friends who are all parents) have been told on whatsapp this morning that we're being called upon to bounce this event and make sure it doesn't get out of control. Some of the parents on that list won't even have teens attending. It has been assumed from the word go that our help will be unlimited.

AIBU to say "not my circus, not my monkeys" or am I being a bit mean in thinking that someone else's wild ambition to throw a trouble free 16 year old party when they can't even sort their own divorce out is bonkers?

OP posts:

KeepServingTheDrinks · 02/09/2017 00:20

The hosts are quite cheeky, aren't they.

I think you all need to go to the pub together while the party's on and let the hosts get on with hosting.

But I note the comment that not all teen parties are horrendous. Most of the teens I know are lovely young people.

PerUnaStubbs · 02/09/2017 10:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PerUnaStubbs · 02/09/2017 10:49

Why are they making all these assumptions? Are they generally clueless about (a) teens and (b) adults? Didn't it even occur to them that if things got out of hand - or even if things didn't get out of hand, but there was some kind of avoidable accident - PC Mum Friend might be professionally compromised?

Or are they hoping that Dr Dad Pal will step in with his handy First Aid box and set up a Welfare station behind the tea urn?

Madwoman5 · 02/09/2017 12:49

Either not let dd go and book something else more fun or go and keep an eye on things. If it gets out of hand, grab dd and leave. Ultimate cf for asking non parents to bounce. If she has that much dosh to chuck about, act surprised that she is not employing professionals.

Original poster

Dollyparton3 · 04/09/2017 07:47

Morning all,

We heard a bit of an amusing update yesterday from our DSD.

The birthday girl has been announcing on whatsapp to a rather large group that her parents are supplying vast quantities of cider, but urges all her friends to bring bottles of spirits as well.

She's also invited the world and his wife. Some that she's not been friends with for years but they've tapped up DSD to see if she's going as they're friends with her. She's also told these ransoms that her parents are supplying booze.

The good news is that at least one of our group of friends has taken us to one side and said she's not having any part of it. DSD suggests we go there for 10 mins to witness the chaos then leave but she doesn't want to go all night so we're technically off the hook!

OP posts:

wowfudge · 04/09/2017 07:52

I wouldn't let your DD go OP - you just know it is going to be carnage.

HerOtherHalf · 04/09/2017 07:56

Are they going to underwrite the legal or medical costs for the amateur bouncers who get beaten up or charged with assault when it inevitably turns into a drunken riot? Of course not. This has disaster written all over it.

badbadhusky · 04/09/2017 08:00

I know the temptation to go along to rubberneck must be strong, but have any of the other parents/you warned birthday girl's parents about the booze and gatecrasher rumours? They definitely need professional door staff on hand to help manage things.

titchy · 04/09/2017 08:01

Please forward a screen shot of that what's app post.... partly because, well, it's funny, but partly because actually it's going to be carnage and some young people are without doubt going to be hurt. It just might make them rethink the whole thing.

christinarossetti · 04/09/2017 08:05

Your dsd sounds very sensible. You do need to let the Disney Duo know about the stuff that their dd has put online etc.

Fadingmemory · 04/09/2017 08:08

If money isn't an issue, a professional bouncer might be a good idea. Some of them are very skilled in calming situations. Have seen this in a professional capacity ( not a bouncer myself though)

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 04/09/2017 08:19

I'm surprised the hall allow alcohol on the premises for under 18s. Most don't. Definitely steer clear.

CatsPurr · 04/09/2017 09:19

Wow. Its just an advertised disaster really. You just know there will be trouble. Get your policelady friend to show these messages to her colleagues and maybe they can pop in though joking aside and I feel like an old fart, it sounds dangerous and not like it will work out at all. When is the party?

ChasedByBees · 04/09/2017 09:34

Oh gosh, steer well clear. Pointing out the police friend as in a professional capacity could get her in to trouble. This pair just aren't thinking are they?

gunsandbanjos · 04/09/2017 09:34

This goes from bad to worse, I wouldn't go within 100 miles of this disaster.

specialsubject · 04/09/2017 09:38

I am involved with our village hall . there was a teen party once, never again. The committee are mad to allow this and should cancel.

Ttbb · 04/09/2017 09:52

When I was I. High school parents would hire professional bouncers for these events.

Original poster

Dollyparton3 · 04/09/2017 13:30

We're going to tell the Disney duo about the wild claims made by the birthday girl. I'm in agreement, I sort of want to rubberneck but would really prefer to be a million miles away.

And apparently the village hall's insurance stipulates no alcohol served to or consumed by under 18's. this could be a VERY expensive party

OP posts:

RainyApril · 04/09/2017 14:13

Op, your friends are cheeky but you sound horrible. 'The Disney duo' are going through a tough divorce and overcompensating but there's just something so awful about your delight in the fact that their party plans are going awry - that no one is helping, that the dd is inviting too many people and so on.

I think you'll be crushingly disappointed if it goes off without a hitch and everyone has a good time.

Btw, I've got four teens and my house is always full of them. I've dropped them at more parties than you can shake a stick at. Sometimes parents ask for a few adult volunteers to stick around and keep them company, I often do. It's usual to enforce no alcohol, or provide one weak beer per person, at this age and accept that some will preload. Never seen anything worse than someone being sick outside, or someone going home early because they're worse for wear.

specialsubject · 04/09/2017 16:40

Is the hall a charity? Do the unpaid trustees a favour and let them know what is going on.

OhOurBilly · 04/09/2017 20:37

Dh is a bouncer (20 years in security) and he doesn't do two types of events, festivals and 16th birthday parties/year 11 proms 😁 because invariably, they're a nightmare.

Even if they are mainly ok with a sensible bunch, you've always got one girl who is shit faced, spews everywhere and falls over, injuring herself and then sits bawling her eyes out until her Mam comes to get her. Or angry youth, who has no harm in him, but has had three cans of Stella and now thinks he's Rocky and is going to take on the world, one left hook at a time.

GrumpyOldCatsNurse · 02/10/2017 11:57

do we know how the party went ? (not nosy at all )

BackforGood · 02/10/2017 12:00

Oh, I was all excited when this popped up in Active Convos just - I too would love an update

DO3271 · 02/10/2017 12:08

I got excited too!! Would love to know ehat happened OP

DartmoorDoughnut · 02/10/2017 12:18

Well it hasn't been in the news so at least it wasn't a mass riot!

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