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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To still not understand the Diana "thing"?

856 replies

TeaCake5 · 31/08/2017 08:22

As William and harry said they were bewildered by people who didn't even know her acting in the way they did. Yes it was sad that she was killed but to hand around kensington palace for days crying? Ridiculous.

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Bluntness100 · 01/09/2017 14:47

People feel the right to grieve openly for these people who are supported by the taxpayer

That's an unusual thought process and a strange way to put it . I'd agree with you if they were lining up in their thousands weeping and wailing when a police officer, prison officer, or a fireman, who had kids, died in the line of duty also, or for someone on benefits who died in a tragic accident, but that's really not the case is it?

Even if they knew them they aren't camping outside their houses weeping and wailing wnd demanding a statement from the family, calling them heartless and trying to touch the kids.

Or would that be a little inappropriate do you think?

alibongo5 · 01/09/2017 14:55

Ok, what I meant is that nobody dared to say them out loud

Well I wasn't only saying it in my head! I said it out loud to real people. I wasn't given a hard time for it.

You can't just state this sort of thing as though it's an established fact. Maybe you didn't come across people expressing such views but it's not the case that no one "dared to say it out loud".

Mittens1969 · 01/09/2017 15:26

All right, well it's 20 years ago so I'm not going to argue about it on here, if you don't mind. I'm sure people did say them privately. But not in the media, as I recall.

reallyanotherone · 01/09/2017 15:34

As a 10 year old at the time i never understood why such a fuss was made about her being a "commoner", a normal woman, same as the rest of us, no royal links etc.

Her dad was an Earl and she grew up on a huge family estate in practically a castle. Not my idea of "one of us".

But i do think people bought into the idea that she was some normal young girl dragged into the royal family, and it could have been any of us living the cinderella tale of marrying the prince.

So when she died it was more like our much admired next door neighbour, or mary's daughter down the road, rather than untouchable royalty we had nothing in common with..

derxa · 01/09/2017 15:37

Certainly watching the coverage in the US of Diana's death then and now, there does not seem to be any sort of class implication. It seemed that the whole country was mourning. Many people were very sad but the people on this thread are trying to claim this was not the case. That only insensitive oafs ie 'plebs' were grieving. The cool, intellectual people knew this was terrible behaviour and only they had Harry and William's interests at heart. Or some such nonsense.

thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 01/09/2017 15:45

This thread is full of very strong opinions, none of which were aired at the time...It's also anonymous on here so people feel more free to be honest than if this was say Facebook.

You've clearly not seen my Facebook page!

Thankfully in Scotland we don't tend to go loopy over the royals, so whether it's hysteria over births, death or marriages, it's mostly met with bemusement here (the hysteria, that is).

After the shock of the death, the next most talked about thing where I worked was the behaviour of the people on the streets of London, the waste of flowers, the demanding attitude of everyone being interviewed, laughing at ridiculous things that were being said and done, etc. We all felt very sorry for the children, and were glad that weren't being taken down to London to exhibit their grief before the baying public, followed by anger when they were finally forced to do it. It was ludicrous then, and it's still ludicrous now, and we had no qualms about saying so.

alibongo5 · 01/09/2017 16:00

The letters page in the Guardian at the time had plenty of people expressing their views of the media coverage and the OTT hysteria. As did Private Eye as someone said earlier.

I'm sorry Mittens but you can't just state your views and then when challenged say the equivalent of "oh does it matter, it was 20 years ago" - the whole thread is discussing something that happened 20 years ago and you commented on it!

SenecaFalls · 01/09/2017 16:05

derxa I didn't pick up on that vibe on the thread. Maybe there is a subtext that is hidden from non-British people.

Mittens1969 · 01/09/2017 16:08

Okay, I was just recalling what I remembered from the television. I probably missed a lot of it actually now I think about it. I was in my final year of my second degree and then my father died, so I had other things to worry about.

Neutrogena · 01/09/2017 16:09

I don't think many people were GLAD she died, but most people didn't give a stuff.
We didn't know her, she prostituted herself to the press, she broke up marriages, she was massively extravagant from the public purse.
Yes, she did some good things too, but so did Jimmy Saville.
She's not as bad as Saville at all, but the point I am making is that she was no saint.

TheLuminaries · 01/09/2017 16:11

Many people were very sad but the people on this thread are trying to claim this was not the case. That only insensitive oafs ie 'plebs' were grieving. The cool, intellectual people knew this was terrible behaviour and only they had Harry and William's interests at heart. Or some such nonsense.

Yup, that sure is nonsense. I live in Scotland, so I think we were spared the worst of the hysteria. It did make me smile wryly that the tabloids were full of 'ma'am, your country needs you' when the Queen stayed in Balmoral. Last I checked, Balmoral was in her country, so pretty ironic really.

I don't know anyone who wept and wailed, but some were more indifferent than others. I was certainly happy to say at the time her death had no impact on me and the grief vultures were weird. And I stand by that.

derxa · 01/09/2017 16:15

he tabloids (perhaps partly due to the wierd spin about 'paparazzi' being to blame) got to steer the sheep in several different directions at once, which was going to provide useful evidence of just how far 'the public' can be manipulated and pushed. This sort of thing Seneca

Mittens1969 · 01/09/2017 16:18

Many people were very sad but the people on this thread are trying to claim this was not the case. That only insensitive oafs ie 'plebs' were grieving. The cool, intellectual people knew this was terrible behaviour and only they had Harry and William's interests at heart. Or some such nonsense.

Yup, that sure is nonsense. I live in Scotland, so I think we were spared the worst of the hysteria. It did make me smile wryly that the tabloids were full of 'ma'am, your country needs you' when the Queen stayed in Balmoral. Last I checked, Balmoral was in her country, so pretty ironic really.

I don't know anyone who wept and wailed, but some were more indifferent than others. I was certainly happy to say at the time her death had no impact on me and the grief vultures were weird. And I stand by that.**

This is quite true, but there's similar hysteria about some celebrity deaths, it's always whipped up by the media who want to sell newspapers.

2rebecca · 01/09/2017 16:21

Agree that maybe my response is coloured by living in Scotland and I became really annoyed when last week the BBC were talking about Diana and saying how important it was that the Queen returned from Balmoral and how all the people leaving flowers in London didn't understand why the royal family weren't there too.
It's like the London people were more important than the Scottish people. Diana was dead, the location of the Queen was irrelevant. The mental health of her sons was important and being away from the press and London hysteria was probably better for them than being at Buckingham palace with crowds of weepy gawpers just outside.
I'm anti-Scottish independance but BBC reactions like that make you realise the BBC do regard London as the only important bit of the UK

flippinada · 01/09/2017 16:24

I moved up to Scotland the day before Diana
Diana's funeral with my then DP, so a very memorable date for me

Saturday 31st - no shops/restaurants were open until after the funeral. Literally could not find anywhere open, until the funeral was over. This was about 2pm - we were ravenous by then, as you can imagine. It was definitely a hot topic of conversation in the restaurant we went to for lunch. So I don't think the portrayal of Scottish folk universally raising an eyebrow and being wryly above it all is entirely accurate.

heartstornastray · 01/09/2017 16:25

Bluntness sorry i worded that wrong. When i said for "those who are supported by the taxpayer" i wasn't meaning all taxfunded public bodies in general. I was just talking about the royal family. The "those" in the sentence was the royal family.

Intothenestofvipers · 01/09/2017 16:29

I remember as a seventeen year old thinking that all the crying a wailing by the public was extremely odd and I still do now. Although Diana's death was a hugely shocking event.

MarcNash · 01/09/2017 17:26

no your not. It was over the top when it happened, the nation for some reason needed to let out a collective sob and that was the opportunity. But now, 20 years ago when a whole generation never even lived through that Royal Soap opera, there is even less reason for people who have no part of these people other than what they read or see in the news, to get hung up on it. It's fine for the Princes to mark the occasion, even to use it as a hook for talking about mental health, but it really has nothing else to do with the public.

Katherine2626 · 01/09/2017 17:28

This country seemed to become a different place for a week or so and the people screaming, wailing and sobbing about a woman that they didn't know at all was strange. Like all 'celebrities' we only know what the media tell us about their lives; the truth can be so badly distorted. . A dreadful time for her family and those who knew her and loved her, but I also found it bizarre that this week there were photos of some very young people crying while looking at flowers placed for Diana somewhere in London - they would have been toddlers at most when she died. Why were they crying?

TakeAnadin · 01/09/2017 17:35

Well really what do you think? It was a very very sad and shocking death and pretty dreadful for the two sons. She was a an A list celebrity; very beautiful and ebullient and glam very much loved by the public. Now you may think the public are barking but actually she seems to have been a much more interesting and more attractive person than many who are lionised. I am not 'into' the Royals but I would rather not be sour about it and as one poster has said; it had a reverberation around the world and she did leave a space whih no one else has ever filled. Rather than thinking people are terrible for being dramatic about her memory, I actually think it is fairly sweet that they even care.

blaukop · 01/09/2017 17:40

I'm afraid I'm with those who just can't understand why there was mass hysteria over Diana's death, awful as it was for her children and family. Had she survived, she might well have turned into just another ex-member of the Royal family, trotting about the world with a variety of wealthy swains. And what about Dodi al Fayed? His loss was just as painful for him. I'm also quite dismayed by how much we all saw and read about the Prince's feelings, it seemed never-ending. Now that it's all over, and the garment -renders are returning to normal, let the matter be put into some sort of perspective. An awful tragedy.

Nettletheelf · 01/09/2017 17:40

It's a relief to see sanity on this thread, when we're once more being shown footage of people gathering around the gates of Kensington palace to cry ostentatiously.

I note that today, a BBC journalist has been condemned by a newspaper for noting, on his personal social media account, that he finds the Diana anniversary antics mawkish and that he's bored of hearing about her. How dare he express his own opinions, eh? Mind you, that newspaper (The Express) has been using pictures of Diana to sell copies ever since she died, so allowing somebody to dismiss her as an irrelevance isn't good business sense. Far better for journalists to behave like that awful lickspittle Jennie Bond, who is still churning out Diana-related titbits, right?

Somebody noted upthread that 20 years ago, only 25% of people professed themselves unaffected by Diana's death. Well, I don't remember being surveyed, but I was affected by her death in 1997 all right, just not in the way I was supposed to be.

I was annoyed at being co-opted into the ludicrous, and imaginary, 'national mood' that had supposedly gripped the nation. I was sick of wall to wall Diana coverage. I was angry that shops etc. closed on the day of the funeral because of some spurious notion of 'people power'. I was astonished that anybody would spend even ten seconds listening to that arse of a brother, let alone allowing him to make that excruciating speech at the funeral and suggesting that we, the rabble, might be roused to revolt by it. As if!

More than anything, I was chilled by the way in which any dissenting voices challenging the "you WILL cry over our queen of hearts, and the real queen WILL do as we say!" doctrine were ruthlessly shouted down and censored (including Private Eye being removed from sale). I found it scary: I couldn't understand the behaviour of those people at all, as if they had been taken over by aliens!

I have some idiots in my family (sorry to be blunt, but, you know, they are). In particular, in 1997 one aunt and cousin started lobbying for one of the ridiculous 'books of condolence' to be opened in the cathedral of the northern city they lived in, and as soon as it happened, gaily skipped down to join the queue to sign it, crying for hours with strangers with whom they struck up conversations. They had a marvellous time, leeching off the grief of the family and friends of a woman they had never met or even seen in the flesh. It was bizarre. My theory is, they wanted to feel part of something and wanted an excuse to cry about their own woes. Pair of bloody ghouls.

I had my own views on Diana when she was alive, and they weren't positive. I particularly remember her, post divorce, going to a glamorous dinner and humanitarian awards event in the US, where Henry Kissinger (who was accused of committing war crimes, amongst other things, but let's not mention that, shall we?), gave a speech in Diana's honour in front of a fawning crowd, saying that she had "allied herself with the poor and sick", whilst Diana sat there in her couture dress and diamonds, simpering. It was in every newspaper and it was shown on the TV news. Something about that doesn't sit right with me, I'm afraid. What about the people who were out there doing the real work with the poor and sick? And, why did Diana's rather limited charitable efforts require such ostentatious recognition? It was sickening.

Kaybush · 01/09/2017 17:41

It completely depends on how old you were at the time and how long you were used to her being in the media all the time.

I was in my early 30s when she died and, until then, didn't think I gave her much thought, but she was omnipresent in our lives and my own reaction to her death surprised me. The morning I heard I walked away from the TV and sobbed for about 10 minutes.

I did the same a week later when I saw her brother's stunning speech at her funeral (now considered one of THE great speeches).

I've never been a royalist but subsequently I think her sons are now beyond reproach - I bet they would give all their privileges up in a heartbeat to have her back.

katscreamy · 01/09/2017 17:42

I was just pissed off that I'd got home from the allotment and Time Team had been cancelled. Sorry, but I didn't know her....

blaukop · 01/09/2017 17:43

Apologies, I meant Mohammed al Fayed. May I offer him my sympathy for his tragic loss.

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