So angry, DH and DD bedtime

[ilovecookies123]

I'm so angry I'm shaking but this could be because it's the middle of the night and everything always seems worse so please help me put this in perspective if I'm completely overreacting.

DD4 was a nightmare with during the nights up until 3months ago, she would wake up in the middle of the night anywhere between 12 and 4 and I won't lie somewhere along the line we got lazy and tired and just started picking her up and putting her in our bed. This wasn't so bad when it was 4 as we were only in bed for a couple more hours but then over time it got earlier and earlier. So I then put my door down and said enough and spent nights upon nights getting her to go back to sleep in her own bed, I was having to sit with her but it didn't take longer than 10ish minutes after a few days and it was also only happening every maybe 10days once she got the hang of it so it was really good.

Twoish weeks ago DH had some time off work and she woke up one night, as he didn't have work the next day he got up to see to her and decided to lay down with her... two weeks later she is now waking up every one or two days, only wants to be cuddled back to sleep and literally can take hours to fall back to a proper sleep, sometimes she's waking twice like tonight. I point blank refuse to lay down with her but also I refuse to sit on her bed watching her. It's become absolute mayhem and I am absolutely fucking livid with him for creating this and not thinking it's a problem. Tonight she woke at 12, he went in. She woke again at 2:15 I went in, refused to lay down and spent the next hour up and down with her and in the end she starts fully screaming for him. He comes in and we have an argument because I had been telling her no one is going to lay down with you and I know what he will do. He tells me to go to bed and he will deal with her but all he's doing now is laying down with her, is ridiculous and I'm so upset that I've watched her cry for an hour and told her I'm not and he's not laying down with her and there he is giving in ms doing it. So angry right now, AIBU?

Try a third way - children can learn to self soothe with a special teddy bear.

Yanbu. My dh has also messed up bed times similarly. I would end up frustrated, tired and angry trying to get back into routine. Leaving him to it worked. Once he had to deal with the consequences of his actions, it made it sink in.

But you're not talking about co-sleeping with her in your bed, your DH is going into her bed so your comfort is unaffected. He'll do that for as long as he can be bothered, it's his skeepmthats affected and is his choice. As long as you're clear you can't/won't sleep with her and he has to negotiate the times when he can't sleep in her bed I really don't see what the issue is.

Ah, that makes a bit more sense, thanks for the clarification.

Jellycatspyjamas i know that isn't what he's trying to do, I've had quite few comments from co sleepers and just wanted to address it.