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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Our cat vs the neighbours claim on him

51 replies

northernshepherdess · 31/08/2017 01:08

Cats will be cats...and ours likes food...quite a lot.. he visits a few houses and I have never been funny about it.
However..he has settled on the house opposite as he had access to it when it was empty and although we have remained responsible for flea treatment and the like..they mostly feed him. He has been injured in their care and hidden from us until the injury was a limp. I suspect a break.
The family are weirdos.. mum does drugs and is a very heavy drinker, children are inappropriate and aggressive and have been kicked out of the local school. They have loads of weird men round and one of them stalks my teen. Her daughter harassed my son. The two youngest threaten the dogs. I can go on...
Today, again, they threatened my daughter and told her not to touch their cat. She is 6. It was the body language of the oldest daughter who has left school that drew my husband's attention to it.
She came over drunk about an hour ago. She accepted we had been reasonable and wanted to know what had happened.
She then told me she had seen him shut in the bedroom and that he had a routine and I wasn't letting him out. And I told her I didn't have to because he belonged to us.
As much as I hate the "ownership" term for a cat...i felt it needed asserting.
She then lost her shizz. Started screaming at me and telling me my dogs bark in the morning and sh7t in the garden and she's fed that cat for four years.

Cats protection said... keep him in. Husband says let him out but they better not say anything to her again (which they 100% will)
Which do I choose... let him out or keep him in

OP posts:
QueSera · 31/08/2017 01:11

Keep him in. Why do you even need to ask?

Titanz · 31/08/2017 01:13

If you can, keep him in.

But just be aware that some cats who have been outdoor cats don't take kindly to this at all. We tried to do it many moons ago and it drove the cat bonkers.

The family sound like a right bunch of gobshites.

Lana1234 · 31/08/2017 01:15

Keep him in for for his own sake. They sound awful.

bluekite · 31/08/2017 01:19

Wait, what?

Your cat spent all his time in the vacant house, which has since been occupied? The people who saw this cat in their house all the time assumed that maybe he was a stray who lived in their previously vacant house?

a) microchip your cat

b) keep your cat inside

There's not much more anyone can do? Cats wander if you let them out. Probably your neighbour has been feeding your cat because you let him out.

If you don't want your cat being fed by strangers, killing birds and other small animals, killed by cars - keep them inside. Domestic cats are NOT wild animals and do not NEED to go outside.

BeepBeepMOVE · 31/08/2017 01:22

Call police surely if your 6year old is being threatened?

Sounds like cat prefers their madhouse to yours though. Maybe up your food game? A lot of cats move out of houses with dogs in, does he get enough time/space away from them when at yours?

My outdoor cats would go nuts if i tried to keep them in for any longer than a day or so. I think it'd be cruel as a longterm solution.

Original poster
northernshepherdess · 31/08/2017 01:30

He had access to the rear of the empty house bluekite. They take him in and shut him in the upstairs front bedroom because he fights with the cat they do own. He is also a regular morning visitor to 2 doors up from them too..he has been a regular "guest" in nearly all of the houses in our culdesac. He used to go to one house...nap on the ladies bed 3 doors down and come home for tea. Grin
He's a regular at the house in the middle as they have cats and leave their door open all the time.
He changed his pattern when our dog was put to sleep.

OP posts:
AllToadsLeadToHome · 31/08/2017 01:38

Keep him in. Get catproofing for the garden and make sure it really is catproof or build him a run so he can still go outside but not wander. He isn't safe going near those people.

sparkleandsunshine · 31/08/2017 01:50

Not the same I know but our old neighbours kids were 7 and 8 and our cat would go out and was incredibly friendly. They used to pick her up but then would fight over and pull and hurt her in their row, I asked them to stop and it kept happening so I went to ask the mum to ask them not to do it and she said "if you let your cat out then it's fair game".

I got my cat some extra toys, bed and scratchers and kept her in, she's now been a house cat for 5 years and I've had no issues x

Original poster
northernshepherdess · 31/08/2017 01:59

One of the other neighbour said they have seen the children throwing the cats. Not something I witnessed though..

OP posts:
Original poster
northernshepherdess · 31/08/2017 02:00

He is very old. He's not interested in toys. He's around 15 now

OP posts:
charlestonchaplin · 31/08/2017 02:27

Interesting how irresponsible cat owners suddenly find they can keep their cats indoors after all when their ownership is threatened.

2017SoFarSoGood · 31/08/2017 02:32

Please keep your old man home. He does not sound safe around these people.

Although he's not really old. More like me, middle aged ish. I know from old cats, trust me. Our mid old girl died at 22. Old girl's daughter died early, at only 19, but she was always a sickly child. Old girl was 24, and not quite sure if it was her time or not. Confused

5rivers7hills · 31/08/2017 03:08

Keep him in
Cat proof garden
Build a big cat run in the garden

All better options

Daydreamerbynight · 31/08/2017 03:19

Ah. Are irresponsible cat owners those who that let their cats out Charlstonchaplin?

Pengggwn · 31/08/2017 06:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ladybirdflyawayhome76 · 31/08/2017 07:14

I'd definitely keep him in, not worth the risk of him getting stuck over at their place.

CatsRidingRollercoasters · 31/08/2017 07:29

I'd be more concerned about them threatening your 6 year old than nicking your cat...

Yes, keep him in.

Is moving an option?

RedHelenB · 31/08/2017 07:34

The world has gone mad! Of course a cat that is used to wandering at will will not want to be kept inside. Peoples attitudes tp animals are very weird on mumsnet.

Raindancer411 · 31/08/2017 07:43

I would put the catproofing around the garden so you don't have to keep your backdoor shut. You didn't really need to ask if you should keep him in or not, the real question is, do you want him? If the answer is yes, you know the answer yourself 😁

SteelyTesticlesOfObjectivity · 31/08/2017 07:47

At that age I'd probably consider keeping it in anyway.

FlaviaAlbia · 31/08/2017 07:48

One of these "wierd men" stalks your daughter (the 6 yr old)? And you're worried about a cat? Really?

Hmm
SteelyTesticlesOfObjectivity · 31/08/2017 07:53

I'm assuming the OP is dealing with the family as well regarding her family. There are only so many legal ways to do that. One thing she is in control of is what happens to the cat.

Unless none of you use MN or eat lunch or go shopping when you have shit going on in your life... you are capable of worrying about two things at once?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 31/08/2017 07:58

I'm surprised that he returns to a house where cats are thrown about (I'm also surprised that any cat-throwing kids still have the use of all of their limbs, as our cats would definitely savage anyone who tried this with them - the first time might take them by surprise, but that person wouldn't get near enough again to do it a second.)

A friend of mine had an outdoor cat that was being fed by someone else. Whatever they were giving him made him sick and gave him diarrhoea, so she put a little note on his collar - "Please don't feed my cat as it is making him ill"

It was ignored and the cat continued to throw up stuff like sardines in tomato sauce etc) all over her house, so she put other notes on - "Stop feeding my cat", "You are making my cat ill" etc - they were all ignored.

Finally she put one that said "If you don't stop feeding my fucking cat a load of fucking crap, I will collect his puke and shit for a week, take a day off work, follow him to find out who you are and where you live and put the whole fucking lot through your letterbox".

They stopped feeding the cat.

(See - you don't have to be nasty - Communication - that is the key Wink Grin )

spidey66 · 31/08/2017 07:59

My cat goes out (and visits the neighbours.....he's permanently hungry due to a thyroid complaint though we feed him well. He pretends to the neighbours we don't feed him at all. We had to get a personalised collar to warn others not to feed him.) He goes bonkers on the odd occasion we keep him in cos he's to go to the vet or the cattery. I'm not an irresponsible owner at all!

ikeadyounot · 31/08/2017 08:04

This is a really tricky one. In my experience, a gregarious cat who likes to visit other houses (I've had several of those!) is absolutely miserable when confined indoors. (The reason I know? Sometimes various medical ailments/ops have necessitated it!)

It can actually be a good thing for animals to be cared for by a whole community. In my neighbourhood, we almost all have cats and we all keep an eye out for any problems with them or between them. Next door's cat comes running to see me when I peg out the washing, and mine are regularly fed by the next door neighbours! I don't really mind this - it's nice that they get pleasure from him, as he is a big softie who loves a cuddle.

I think I'd be tempted to try to work things out with this family. Your cat has made the decision for you, in a way.