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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not feed lunch at a kids birthday party?

93 replies

ginplease8383 · 30/08/2017 20:03

DD will be 3 in a month or so. I am considering having a village hall and bouncy castle from 2pm- 4pm.

AIBU to not serve food and just some cake and scones and some water/juice? DD eats at 12 and at 4. Which is what they do at nursery where a majority of the kids would be from.

OP posts:
JigglyTuff · 30/08/2017 20:42

Yes, that sounds about right. I used to budget £100-150 for parties. When they get a bit older, they want less invitees but do more expensive things.

Then they just shun the whole party thing altogether if you're lucky Grin

I probably wouldn't bother with sandwiches and just do finger food as horriblehistories suggests

Original poster
ginplease8383 · 30/08/2017 20:43

They look great Disordered!

OP posts:
Littleraincloud · 30/08/2017 20:43

I made a huge cake by x4ing a Victoria sponge cake recipe and dividing it into two roasting trays. When cool fill with jam and butter cream, butter cream on top and decorate with birthday child's favourite sweets. It's easier to cut with being rectangular and is far cheaper than bought

cheminotte · 30/08/2017 20:43

At that age 3 or 4 friends to play and a birthday tea is fine as well. Plenty of time to have big parties when they start school.

Enidblyton1 · 30/08/2017 20:44

At the risk of sounding like a killjoy I would save a big village hall party of 27 until DD is 5 years old in Reception. Before they start school you can get away with asking a few children over to your house.

For my first DD we had 20 children with bouncy castle in our garden. For second DD we had 5 children over to play with a tea, cake and pass the parcel. The latter experience was so much easier for us and the 3 year old.

Original poster
ginplease8383 · 30/08/2017 20:48

Enidblyton1- I think you are probably right. I could make it a nicer party for a smaller amount of children too.

OP posts:
amousehaseatenmypaddlingpool · 30/08/2017 20:49

I wouldn't mind whether we were fed or not, however I would 100% want fair warning.

I think if I didn't hear otherwise I'd be expecting a party tea for DS and coffee and cake for me.

WineIsMyMainVice · 30/08/2017 20:51

Time/money/hassle saver = instead of doing party pages, give each kid a book. You can get 10 x books off the book people for £10. Much cheaper than buying loads of bags, bubbles etc which won't last anyway. All that stuff adds up.
But def do some food. It will he expected. (Just not M&S!)
Hope it goes well.

LaughingElliot · 30/08/2017 20:52

That is a heck of a lot of 3-year-olds. Would it not be wiser to invite just 2 or 3 children to your home and put on some simple games. Three is so little, they are very easily pleased and it's manageable for everyone.

At 3 mine was delighted to decorate his own birthday cake (icing slopped everywhere but he was SO happy) and get a little bike. At 4 he had his 3 best friends from nursery for a pirate party. The parents stayed and it was a lovely afternoon.

LaughingElliot · 30/08/2017 20:53

Sorry, cross posted

mummmy2017 · 30/08/2017 20:55

Buy the loafs and the meat ,cheese and jam.
Just don't make them till they have all arrived, if you have a friend who has no children or older ones ask them to help you buy making them when people arrive.
Do one round of sandwiches and cut in half, so they get 2 out of the 4 triangles, we put sandwiches and juice out first. with crisps and sausages, and savoury bits.
The kids ate loads as they couldn't see the sweet bits.
We did ask if anyone wanted more sandwiches.
Jelly and Ice cream.. made in plastic cups.... so we could chuck the waste away not washing up.
Then we took out the cake and sweetie bits, and let them have at it.
All for under £30..

This way we didn't have masses of sandwiches left..

DisorderedAllsorts · 30/08/2017 20:56

If you're on a tight budget you can do the following to restrict the guest list:

  1. invite girls only so it's potentially a max of 15 children

  2. ask your Dd who she'd like to invite

  3. state on the invitation card that it's named child only and you can't accommodate siblings due to venue size

  4. give a date to reply by & state that you can't accommodate late replies

  5. give them only a 2 week notice period. This works with a long guest list as there will be people who won't be able to come due to previous commitments. I had 40 children to invite for dad's 5th party but only 25 came because I sent the invitations out a fortnight before. People in my area usually give a month's notice.

noeffingidea · 30/08/2017 20:59

Invite girls only . What, sex segregated parties at 3 years old? That's really sad.

Cailleach666 · 30/08/2017 21:00

I agree with others.

You could do a simple buffet for25 kids easily for £10 - £15.

I have done it several times. Very easy for that price. That even includes drinks and plastic cups.

Aeroflotgirl · 30/08/2017 21:02

It does sound a bit tight, how about some nibbles, crisps, sandwiches, pizza slices, chopped carrot, pepper etc.

DisorderedAllsorts · 30/08/2017 21:03

I suggested it as a way of keeping costs down without offending people. Lots of people in my area do it, they can easily afford a party for 15 children but not a party for 25+ where the classes here in the SE are over 30 sometimes.

SheepyFun · 30/08/2017 21:04

We did 3rd birthday coffee morning and 4th birthday party at home. About 10 children at the latter, including siblings - we held it on a weekday, so had to include siblings as parents wouldn't have had other care available.

At that age, they're pretty happy just wandering around playing with whatever toys you put out.

Pass the parcel works well (you need to keep track of who has opened it, and put a prize in every layer).

Singing nursery rhymes, especially those with actions is surprisingly popular with the children.

You could have a 1.5 hour party - definitely fine at that age. We have gone for mornings, as children tend to be dealing with life better at that point in the day. DD was still napping in the afternoon at 3, so that could be an issue for some invitees.

TeenTimesTwo · 30/08/2017 21:04

I went for a 3 friends at home at that age, and similar at 4 (& 5) too.

Regardless, I think that 2hrs is too long for that age and 90mins is better.

Petal12 · 30/08/2017 21:06

I held a 1.5 hour foodless party recently for 5 year olds, from 2-3:30. Was an activity party and went very quickly. Took drinks for the children with me and bulked out the party bags with a bear yo yo, cake and sweets in case anyone passed out from hunger on the way home!
I've done lots of kids parties before, all catered and this one was the most stress free and enjoyable for all.

SkylarFalls · 30/08/2017 21:12

It'll be a whingey flop if you don't feed em!

You can't avoid feeding kids at a kids party by avoiding traditional meal times: if they're excited and giddy they'll get hungry!

Xmasbaby11 · 30/08/2017 21:14

You should feed them as everyone will expect It, and after an hour running around they'll be ready to eat.

ScouseQueen · 30/08/2017 21:15

Here is my budget party DIY menu (compiled a few months back, based on shopping at Asda)

Cheese balls large bag 85p
Ready salted potato sticks 85p
White loaf 50p
Smartprice cheesy spread 50p for sandwiches
Smartprice strawberry jam 28p for sandwiches
Smartprice jaffa cakes 31p
Baker's selection Victoria sponge £1
Smartprice chocolate chip cookies 40p
Half a cucumber 30p, slice into batons
Bag of carrots 50p, slice into batons
Smartprice squash, Apple/blackcurrant and orange, 2 x 42p
Total = £6.33

Add in another two quid for disposable cups and plates, a quid for cake candles, and you're all sorted for a tenner. Wink

SaucyJack · 30/08/2017 21:18

Yes, deffo do food.

Top tip for sandwiches is to buy pre-sliced square cheddar, square ham- and then spend a minute or so on the supermarket matching up a loaf in the same size.

You can knock them out in seconds after that.

becotide · 30/08/2017 21:18

go to Not-M&S

Buy 4 loaves of cheapest white bread. This is what toddlers like.

Fill half of those with cheap plastic ham, the other half with value grated mozzerella. Cut into quarter triangles. This is what toddlers like.

Buy enough value scones for half a scone each, jut them in half and jam them with value jam. This is what toddlers like.

Buy 4 big bags of party mix cheap crap giant crisp packets. Empy into a few bowls and distrubute around. This is what PARENTS who are pretending not to scoff the party food like.

Chop about 3 carrots into sticks and 1 cucumber into rounds. Someone might be on a diet, hope for this because although it needs to be there, toddlers do not like this.

Birthday cake and that's it.

Including a supermarket birthday cake, this will come to less than £30.

Ignore the fruiters, kids can eat expensive berries and organic banana loaf at home.

CreamCheeseBrownies · 30/08/2017 21:22

I'm a fan of the 1.5 hour party at this age, and smaller parties generally. I'd do food just to break it up tbh.

I'd do food boxes with a couple of sml sandwiches per child, bag of quavers, bit of veg, fairy cake, biscuit. Squash on the table. Any leftovers can be taken home for tea. Veg in value plastic cup inside box.

Your party bags sound perfect.