Hitting inanimate objects

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AIBU reasonable to get really annoyed when people hit inanimate objects to make children feel better? E.g. Child runs into door and hurts themselves, adult proceeds to hit the door and verbally abuse it to make the child feel better.

I find it really petty/vindictive. I also worry that it teaches bad behaviour, what happens when a playmate hurts a child, do they also deserve to be hit?

My grandparents did this when I was a child and I would like to say that I turned out fine but I am actually quite vindictive (but that's more likely unrelated-I hope). My husband has told MIL not to do this but she won't be told what to do. I can't say anything because she takes any disagreement as a personal attack so I've just had t sit through five minutes of her doing this in front of my DS.

Currently considering opening a bottle of wine to calm myself down (don't judge me, i'm really tired so not quite as in control of my emotions as usual and to top it off we've gone sugar free and the only remaining sugar in the house is a few bottles of red wine).

My Mil did it once and I laughed out loud at her in shocked horror. I had never seen anyone do something so stupid. I told her not to do it.. She stopped. My daughter was a tiny tot though. Can't you tell her to please not do it, for the reason you've just explained? You're probably tired because you need some sugar. Eat some..

On the deliveroo app. Just realise md there is a dessert place next to me. About to drown my sorrows in chocolate sauce!

MIL once did this. Child (not mine!) was throwing a strop, refusing to behave and in temper deliberately smacked his head on the wooden arm of the sofa, then screamed.

MIL's response was to get him to slap "the naughty sofa" for hurting him.

I was and I don't think I hid it well.

Do people do this?! I had no idea.

It sounds barking mad to me.

Maybe it's an ethnic thing? We both come from non-western heritage (my DH's parent and my grandparents to an extent). It's really odd. She's never hit/spank my son but if it's the radiator she just goes for it.

My mil does this and it's bizarre! Sometimes dh does it too and I'm like .

The only thing I can say is that it does cheer dd up a bit or she's just doing nervous lauhjing

I do it. Dd 3 is 3 and if she walks into the door or whatever I say " silly door" and might even give the door a little shove myself. It's just something silly to stop crying etc get out of control. I occasionally still say it to my 5 year old but if I said it to my 7 year old she would laugh in my face I'm sure.

Sorry I should add as far as I can tell none of my 4 have turned out very vindictive they don't go round bashing furniture or people just for the sake of it. Worry not. Enjoy the wine

I've done this. It stops crying instantly. Wailing toddler suddenly stops and starts smiling while watching me look like a fool kicking a lamppost.
You are right (and I've never looked at it that way) that it could potentially teach a child to hurt someone for hurting them but my children have seen it for the comedic act it is, on the few times I've done it. They laugh because they know how silly it is and the accident is forgotten about

We used to do it. Small children find it funny and it distracts them from any pain from hurting themselves.
Why making my child feel better would is something for you to get annoyed about is beyond me.

My husband has told MIL not to do this but she won't be told what to do
Good for her. Tell himself to stop telling his mother what to do, the cheeky git.

He's our son we have a right to tell people how to behave around him. Would you say the same if she were hitting DS rather than the wall?

I was when I first saw dm do this, but it does make the child laugh so then thought perhaps it was a good tactic after all!

Ansumpasty didn't think of the comical side of it, quite funny actually now that I think of it but DS doesn't seem to find it funny/stop crying and can see how a child with a different temperament would though.

He's our son we have a right to tell people how to behave around him

Actually you don't. He should have more respect for his mother, for a start.

Would you say the same if she were hitting DS rather than the wall?

Asinine. Would you say the same if you were a banana and not a person? (makes about as much sense as your question)

I've done it when the kids were younger and it was done with humour, I wasn't seriously blaming the cupboard door for not being shut

She is harming his development in our opinion. No one else has behaved this way. Others gave either said ok and stopped doing it or have asked why and then agreed after a short discussion. She is like this about everything. She does whatever she wants regardless of how much it interferes with our parenting methods. Surely you feel the same way about people behaving around your children-have you never asked someone to stop swearing? Or to not make sex jokes or sonething? We don't want our children to think that hitting things because you are upset is appropriate behaviour. She is a role model for them so we ask her not to do that but she thinks she knows best. While I appreciate (especially after this thread) why people would do this, and that it isn't a huge deal, like I said, both I and DH were subjected to this too) he's still our son and not hers. She has no right to decide how he is to be raised.

It's a joke that a toddler can understand. I wouldn't go as far as hitting the door but saying
"what a naughty door that jumped out at you" has never failed to raise a smile from a previously crying toddler.

I think you may be overthinking this.

Also, if you are too rigid about exactly how everybody has to behave in your child's presence you may find that eventually nobody wants to be around him at all because it's simply too much like hard work. And that is more likely to harm his development than having to learn that other people do things differently. The latter is a normal and healthy part of growing up.

She is harming his development in our opinion

Oh behave, she is not. It's a perfectly normal thing to do, unclench and stop making wild and ridiculous comparisons. We get it, you hate your MIL, fine. But give it a rest.

You need to learn to distinguish between things that are genuinely harmful (hitting him, being nasty to him) and things that while not ideal won't do him any harm. In a few years he will be starting school- there will be different rules there and teachers will probably have different approaches. At the same time, he will probably start going on playdates- his hosts will almost certainly have different rules and different ways of dealing with infringements. So what will you do? Just never let him go anywhere? Or accept that he is probably bright enough to gradually work out that "these things are different in x's house but my parents expect this of me"?

Hmmmmm, when my son was going through an angry phase as a toddler I did teach him to, when he was really really angry, to go away and hit the sofa rather than other people. I know in an ideal world he shouldn't be hitting anything, but as a toddler he needed some way of working through the frustration...

Sorry I think yabu and massively overthinking this.

Loads of people do this, it's to distract the child and hopefully make them laugh. It might seem silly and old fashioned but it usually works.

The child usually realises it's silly telling the door/table/whatever off and laughs.

It's just a distraction technique and a very successful one with a lot of children.