Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that it's up to me to decide what my kids should wear in their own home?

84 replies

OrmIrian · 02/04/2007 09:46

DS#2 (4) was in and out of the paddling pool yesterday so he was more or less naked for much of the time. Nudity not a big deal in our house anyway. At one point he was running around in nothing but a tigers head, paws and tail... OK.. a bit odd in a 30yr old but not in a 4yr old surely. A neighbour visited and from the start was clearly bothered by DS's sem-nudity. She kept making comments along the lines of "Why don't you put some clothes on" and to me " Don't you think he should be dressed". I said no as he was quite happy and he'd only get his clothes wet if he did. She left quite soon - parting comment was "I think that it's quite inappropriate to let a child run round half naked like that" - no apologetic smile or attempt to make it a joke. I was so shocked! Is it inappropriate? She's not old. She had a young child of about the same age. Is she odd, or is it me?

OP posts:
Original poster
OrmIrian · 02/04/2007 10:19

Ah...beleive me annabel, it's not always lovely. And we do deserve it to make up for the stubborn refusal of the snow to ever ever come here....

OP posts:
hebetalbot · 02/04/2007 10:42

My DD (3.3yrs) also likes to wear little or nothing around the house. As soon as she gets home from pre-school she announces very loudly that she is going to get nudy! On the other extreme she is very attached to DS (9 1/2 months) clothes and will often raid his wardrobe! Does not bother me but does look strange when someone comes to the door!

morningpaper · 02/04/2007 10:44

lovely and HOT in Somerset today

p.s. yes your neighbours has Issues

NadineBaggott · 02/04/2007 10:46

maybe she knows something about some of your other neighbours

its a sad old world

kslatts · 02/04/2007 11:15

my 5 year old dd often takes her clothes off at home, usually she will keep her pants on but sometimes takes them off too.

If I was visiting someone who's child was naked I wouldn't think anything of it, how odd that someone would find it inappropriate.

hebetalbot · 02/04/2007 11:21

When do they stop wanting to strip at every opportunity?

Kbear · 02/04/2007 11:23

yep, she's weird! Kids love being noody!

MUMTOTOM · 02/04/2007 11:30

Children are children for such a short time - let your children enjoy the freedom.

hebetalbot · 02/04/2007 11:33

I agree, it is lovely to see them running around uninhibited (have i spelt it right?).

chocolate1000 · 02/04/2007 12:33

I think for visitors I would dress my children in some clothes even if was only a pair of shorts for a boy and a t-shirt/shorts for a girl.

I guess my stance comes from my fear that people might think that i haven't got enough clothes for my DD if they were naked or in pyjamas all day. Either that or I was too idle to bother dressing them .

But it's your house, so you can make the rules .

Elasticwoman · 02/04/2007 12:49

I don't agree with your visitor, and she was rather rude to express her opinion about what you do in your own house. But maybe it's better she said it to your face than behind your back. Some people are prudes and I don't have any patience with them. You were taken aback by her frankness; perhaps have a reply up your sleeve for any future unsolicited opinions eg "we'll have to agree to differ on that one."

Anna8888 · 02/04/2007 12:53

Attitudes to nudity vary hugely, but it certainly wasn't your visitor's business to comment on how you bring up your child in the privacy of your own home.

vimfuego · 02/04/2007 12:57

I spent most of my childhood nekkid... my mum still goes on about it to anyone who'll listen

SweetyDarling · 02/04/2007 13:15

Wouldn't see anyting wrong with a naked 4yo (or 7yo for that matter) being naked in public let alone in their own home!
I wish I could swim naked! Let the little ones enjoy thier innocence while it lasts!
I would have to assume the woman has had some horrible expereince inher past which has given her a warped perception of nudity.
Pity her, but don't listen to a word of it!

nikkie · 02/04/2007 13:18

Anabel- Cumbria is gorgeous too! I was out in shorts and vest top vesterday and shops and t-shirt today!

Rachmumoftwo · 02/04/2007 22:44

Whose house was it?!!
I find it quite inappropriate that someone should visit a neighbour and then be rude about her child and the way they are dressed (or undressed). Thank goodness she doesn't live next door to me, as my children are usually naked. It's part of being a child!

Mamalennon · 02/04/2007 23:04

Just to put a slightly different angle on it, when I've been in parks in the summer and seen little kids in and out of the paddling pool with no clothes on, I've felt a bit uncomfortable on their behalf in that 'I hope there are no weirdos about' and MAYBE that's where her head is - i.e. even though it's your garden, they shouldn't get in to the habit of running around naked. I suppose I only feel the need to stick up for her slightly as everyone else has slammed her. I think she's maybe a victim of this generalised fear about paedophilia and naked children. People often sound rude when actually they're embarrassed and uncomfortable and she hasn't sorted out her own feelings about how to deal with the issue vis a vis her own child.

magicfarawaytree · 02/04/2007 23:38

neighbour is unreasonable. fair enough put clothes on in public place but at home... Mine are starkers most of the time at home even mid winter .... dont tell dh though he is always moaning about how the the central heating is on.

Original poster
OrmIrian · 03/04/2007 07:08

mammalennon - I think that you are right. I don't give a toss what she thinks of me - I know my kids are fine - but I hate to think that someone was made to feel uncomfortable when they visited me. And she really did seem uncomfortable. In some ways I'd wished I had got him dressed (or tried to) just so that she didn't feel uncomfortable. But her reaction was so extreme that I wanted to test the water generally to see if it was me that was out of line.

Glad I'm not as it looks like another nice day to day and I think the nudity/tiger issue might arise again

OP posts:
ernest · 03/04/2007 07:36

Unbelievably rude of her to talk to you like that, whatever her views are. I personally don't like it, but not from a wierdo /pervert pov at all, min. requirement in our house is a pair of pants, otherwise I'd have willies in my face all bloody day long, lol, but I understand that's just a personal preference, no wierd hang up from me, honest, but I can't imagine EVER commenting to anyone like that about something perfectly acceptable that they (or their kids) are doing IN THEIR OWN HOME!!!!!!!

How do you think you'll react when you see her again? (apart from being naked with tiger head on)

I know I'd feel uncomfortable if anyone had had a go at me like that tbh.

Elasticwoman · 03/04/2007 10:48

Orm - let her take responsibility for her own feelings. If she felt uncomfortable by the decor of your home, which you had chosen, would you feel you had to change it?

LowFatMilkshake · 03/04/2007 10:53

Your DS is a typical LO and neighbour is a bit odd

MY DD is forever answering the door as a fairy!

Pebblemum · 03/04/2007 11:26

My ds2 (3yrs) is always stripping off indoors, he gets it from his dad who loves nothing better than wandering around in his boxers (or naked if ds1 is out)My friends and family have learnt over the years not to just walk into our house unannounced unless they are willing to catch dh in a state of undress

Quite often my friends will pop round to find ds2 in nothing but my pink cowboy hat or pair of goggles, sometimes he will put on a pair of pants. Personally I dont see anything wrong with it, we are in our own home and I would love to be able to get away with it like he does (but i wouldnt, i would end up scaring everyone lol). Luckily he doesnt mind wearing clothes if we need to go out.

I think your neighbour over reacted, i could understand it if you were visiting her and your son suddenly stripped off but in your own home its up to you what your ds does

DaisyMOO · 03/04/2007 14:18

Could you pop a note through her door with the phone number of a good therapist?

I wonder if she has some history of being abused, even if not it's very sad though that someone feels children shouldn't be allowed to run round in the nuddy in their own home

JustUsTwo · 03/04/2007 14:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.