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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that it's up to me to decide what my kids should wear in their own home?

84 replies

OrmIrian · 02/04/2007 09:46

DS#2 (4) was in and out of the paddling pool yesterday so he was more or less naked for much of the time. Nudity not a big deal in our house anyway. At one point he was running around in nothing but a tigers head, paws and tail... OK.. a bit odd in a 30yr old but not in a 4yr old surely. A neighbour visited and from the start was clearly bothered by DS's sem-nudity. She kept making comments along the lines of "Why don't you put some clothes on" and to me " Don't you think he should be dressed". I said no as he was quite happy and he'd only get his clothes wet if he did. She left quite soon - parting comment was "I think that it's quite inappropriate to let a child run round half naked like that" - no apologetic smile or attempt to make it a joke. I was so shocked! Is it inappropriate? She's not old. She had a young child of about the same age. Is she odd, or is it me?

OP posts:
LilRedWG · 02/04/2007 09:48

She's odd, not you! It sounds like your DS was having great fun

Now, if it had been your DH running around like that....

NuttyMuffins · 02/04/2007 09:48

She's odd.

ComeOVeneer · 02/04/2007 09:49

In the privacy of your own home/garden at taht age it is absolutely fine. I would say she was being a bit of a prude.

singingmum · 02/04/2007 09:51

She'd have hated me.when my ds was about3-4 he was running about starkers and wouldn't get dressed.I told him that if he ran outside the birds would peck his bits off(we were going out and I really needed him to get dressed).He ran to the door shook it about and shouted for the birds.I pmsl

CadburyCremeSquonk · 02/04/2007 09:52

Our dd2 doesn't like clothes. At all. She will wear pyjamas at a push and she accepts that if we are going out she needs to have real clothes on but her preferred state is naked.

We accept this, it is just the way that she is, however, dp is absolutely paranoid about somebody spotting that she has no clothes on or is wearing pyjamas during the day and rings social services and they get taken off us.....

I keep telling him this will NOT happen but he is so worried about it.

So yes, your woman was odd, but there must be a few of them about.

I say in the privacy of your own home/garden, let them wear what they are comfortable in.

harpsichordcarrier · 02/04/2007 09:53

she has major hang ups. imo

Original poster
OrmIrian · 02/04/2007 09:54

Good. Dread to think what she's saying to all the other people in the street . Although most of them know me and wouldn't be surprised I guess.

OP posts:
edam · 02/04/2007 09:55

My younger sister was a clothes refusenik as a small child. Neighbours used to ring the bell and tell my mother sister had taken off all her clothes and left them in a neat pile under the lamp post outside our house this was (in the days when children could play out).

I think your visitor was uptight and a bit ridiculous, tbh.

RedLorryYellowLorry · 02/04/2007 09:55

Funny neighbour! Can't see anything odd about it in your own home. Ds 4 yo strips off everywhere. If he's on the toilet he takes his top off!!

misdee · 02/04/2007 09:55

she is odd.

dd1+2 are semi nudists (7 and 4). dd3 prefers clothes. SGK dd2 was very rarely dressed for the 1st 5 years of her life when inside. she would come in and strip off. i remember walking into her house once and went 'OH MY GOODNESS YOU HAVE CLOTHES ON!' her dd laughed.

choosyfloosy · 02/04/2007 09:56

god i barely wore clothes from april til sept until i was 7 and no matter what anyone says i dont' think it's any different now. tbh i would find it quite disturbing that she found it so disturbing! how can anything legal be inappropriate in your house, if you permit it?

BizzyDint · 02/04/2007 09:58

next time she comes round make sure you are naked too. then she'll have something to talk about.

harpsichordcarrier · 02/04/2007 09:58

dd1 goes through phases of clothes refusal. we often go round to friends in pyjamas, I mean who cares, she's not four yet.
clothes are a social construct.
although I have to admit to going round to a friend's house for a meal (they are naturists) and have a Moment on the journey thinking - oh lordy, I hope they are going to dress for dinner

fishie · 02/04/2007 09:58

does poor her child have baths in a swimming costume then? victorian bloomers? she has problems and terrible manners.

AnnabelCaramel · 02/04/2007 09:59

Is it only me wondering where on earth it was warm enough to be in a paddling pool????!!! Please tell me you're not in the uk!

FrannyandZooey · 02/04/2007 09:59

Oh dear she is odd

poor you (and poor her)

I like the nothing but a tiger's head look

harpsichordcarrier · 02/04/2007 09:59

lol at Victorian bloomers.
how about one of those little booths on wheels to trundle up to the side of the pool

ScummyMummy · 02/04/2007 10:00

There are lots and lots of prudish people about when it comes to naked kids, I'm afraid. Of course you're not being unreasonable though.

Chandra · 02/04/2007 10:01

I think it's all about finding the balance, a 4 year old running naked while in his house, no problem (although I would be a bit concerned about the cold weather, although you may well be in a tropical country where weather is irrelevant). Now, if your child was runing like that in Tesco I may (but just may) haveve some concerns

FWIW My mother was a prude and I grew up to feel embarrased even of my toes. MIL is a farm girl for whom all these things (including sex) where just natural and even expected. I would much preffer DS to grow without tabus and having a healthy relationship with himself as DH has. So... please ignore the woman.

LilRedWG · 02/04/2007 10:07

It was warm enough here (in Worcestershire) for a four year old to be running around in the paddling pool!

Nemo2007 · 02/04/2007 10:09

right can see both sides.
Nudity in our house is not a big issue at all the children often go around with nothing or little on.
Now for me I would feel uncomfortable seeing someone elses child running around naked all day but that is due to my past. I dont like the fact that when Ds goes swimming lots of the parents just strip their children off where I will try to maintain DS modesty with his towel but not obviously so. Again that is down to my feelings and I would never tell someone else what to do with their child as it is their look out not mine.

powder28 · 02/04/2007 10:12

I would have told her to keep her ridiculous comments to herself, and not to come round if she cant keep her gob shut. Next time she comes round answer the door naked and tell her its your regualr 'nude day' like in league of gentleman..

Original poster
OrmIrian · 02/04/2007 10:16

Yes. in the UK. We're in Somerset. And it was glorious yesterday ..and still is today.

OP posts:
AnnabelCaramel · 02/04/2007 10:17

I'm not here anymore. I'm on Rightmove looking for homes in Worcester or Somerset.

Original poster
OrmIrian · 02/04/2007 10:17

bizzydint - do you think I should put on the tigers head too?

OP posts:
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