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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

More of a WWYD

95 replies

ThunderR0ad78 · 30/08/2017 14:59

Just posting here for opinions and traffic!!

DD is heading in to year 6 so we are on the verge of applying for her secondary school place this October.

She currently goes to a Catholic Primary school in Surrey and due to this qualifies for a place at our Catchment Catholic secondary school. The secondary school feeds 7 Catholic primary schools across Surrey - as a result it is not in our local area, it's about 10 miles away from where we live.

Lots of the children attending my DD's school go on to this secondary school, along with the children from 2 other neighbouring schools. The children are all required to catch 2 trains followed by a 10 min walk to school. The is no school bus despite lots of attempts to reinstate the service. However, like I said the station is packed with children all travelling together.

This school is incredibly high achieving, in the most recent published stats 97% of students received 5 A-C GCSE's - is ranked in top 100 across the UK.

On the flip side she also qualifies to go to our local secondary school based on our address. In contrast this school is ranked about 1500 nationally and approx 60% of students achieve 5 A-C grades. However, this school is a 15 minute cycle away and would obviously significantly reduce the amount of travelling and of course our safety concerns.

In terms of her friends, they will be split between the two schools possibly slightly more going to the local school - am not majorly bothered by this!

DD is my most academic child, a real grafter
and really tries her best - the Catholic school is renowned for its strictness but much of this will not apply to DD as she doesn't pose much challenge to any teachers, unlike her mother when she was at school!!!!

Another thing to consider is that my DS (two years younger) does not go to same catholic school, did not feel it was the right environment for him so unless I move him to a Catholic school in the next couple of years he will go to the local school....... so if I choose this school for DD then they will be together!

However, I am very happy to keep them at separate schools as I've definitely seen the benefit of choosing the right school for the child.....

So WWYD, which school would you opt for?

OP posts:
umizoomi · 30/08/2017 15:04

What would your DD like to do?

I would suggest a look around both with her if you haven't already.

Gatehouse77 · 30/08/2017 15:08

I'd be inclined to pick the school that most suits your daughter's learning style and personality.

Do they offer extra curricular activities that she would do?

We opted for the local school because it has a very good reputation and because I wanted to foster local friends having gone to an out of catchment primary.

GeillisTheWitch · 30/08/2017 15:09

I'd choose the further away Catholic school based on the fact that your DD is academic and this school seems like it will support this better. I'd also rather my child was travelling by train with lots of others from her school than cycling from a safety point of view, unless there are dedicated cycle paths nowhere near traffic for the whole route.

ThunderR0ad78 · 30/08/2017 15:13

Yes I should have said what she feels at the moment.....

Genuinely she doesn't mind, we have seen both schools already and neither was a glaring obvious better choice for her. She's quite sporty and the Catholic school I think performs higher but the opportunity to play each sport is the same so technically that is fine with us.

The distance is not a major problem for her but for us it is. The main question is does the higher academic performance justify the commute?

Interested to hear opinions or thoughts on other issues I may not have considered! Thanks all

OP posts:
ThunderR0ad78 · 30/08/2017 15:17

Genuinely I think both school will suit her, she's a very "good girl" at school and tries her best at everything! For her school is everything, bless her, she says it's her job!

She will definitely be very accustomed to a Catholic teaching style but honestly won't challenge any style of teaching. However, I am well aware she is 10 and not 15 - a lot can change! 😂

OP posts:
ThunderR0ad78 · 30/08/2017 15:19

Yes I take the point about cycling!!! Cycle paths for some but not all of the route!
However, in Yrs 7-9 I imagine she will travel by private school bus with her friends, and cycle in a couple of years time.

OP posts:
Sequence · 30/08/2017 15:22

The main question is does the higher academic performance justify the commute?

Yes, I think so. It sounds as if your DD would benefit from the environment and still be able to do sports and be with some of her friends.

However, I'd certainly want to attend an open day and/or meet a member of staff if possible, and find out more about the ethos, pastoral care, how any bullying is dealt with, etc.

Do you think your DS would benefit from being at the same school as your DD? Does the Catholic secondary have a sibling criteria for admission, and if so, does it come before or after whether they're from a Catholic school?

TeenTimesTwo · 30/08/2017 15:29

I would look a value added / progress 8 for both schools. The % 5A*-C can tell you more about the intake than the quality of the teaching. You can see this I think split for high/average/low attainers.

TeenTimesTwo · 30/08/2017 15:33

Schools with any kind of selection (even by religion) tend to produce above average results. I think it is something to do with having proactive parents who are organised enough to look at admission criteria and ensure they meet them etc. As these are the kind of parents that are also likely to be supportive of the education of their child.

I have seen one poster write that a school that selected by parental juggling ability would likely also produce above average academic results. Smile

WhoreOfBabyliss · 30/08/2017 15:38

I wouldn't want my DC cycling on a road at all so would do all I could to prevent that. I would go for the better results school.

ThunderR0ad78 · 30/08/2017 15:40

Thanks Sequence......

My kids have only ever been to the same infant school for one year - they are used to being at separate schools at this stage so I don't think my son will mind too much! I personally would prefer they were together but the Catholic system was not right for my son especially when he was in years rec-2!

He will definitely not get in to the Catholic secondary school without being in one of the named Catholic feeders. Having a sibling only at the school is very low down the criteria. I will need to move him in year 5-6 to a Catholic primary if I decide I want this secondary for him. I'm not adverse to doing this, I just need to be sure that it would be a good move for him!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 30/08/2017 15:40

Not sure which bit of Surrey you live in but NW Surrey catholic schools are so over subscribed means that attendance to a catholic primary if you're not a baptised & confirmed catholic is not usually sufficient to get in.

Non catholic siblings are something like F on the criteria!

I think go with what you and your DD think is best for her. The commute would put me off tbh.

Jaxhog · 30/08/2017 15:41

I'd go with the Catholic school as it will suit her learning style and the environment will be the academic challenge she probably thrives on. It's traumatic enough going to a secondary school - going from being the oldest to the youngest etc.

Etymology23 · 30/08/2017 15:42

I think I'd be wondering about low level disruption. It can really harm a child's ability to learn, even if they really want to, if teachers are constantly fire-fighting - e.g. stopping people pinging rubbers etc, rather than just teaching the lesson. I'd imagine that will be reflected in the progress 8, but also in the school's attitude to bright pupils - I've seen some schools that only care about the C, so won't push you if you're going to cruise to an A or a B, and others that push everyone to do their best - the latter may well be better for your daughter - it's just a question of which school provides that.

It also depends on e.g. if your daughter makes friends with someone 15 miles away, can you facilitate their friendship? You don't always stay friends with those you move up from primary school with.

How long are the two trains and a walk? 30 or 40mins? I don't think that length of "commute" will be massively problematics, and trains presumably means she will be able to stay for clubs etc easily whereas she wouldn't with a bus. My "close" school was a 30min cycle or a 15min walk to bus stop and 35mins on the bus, and it didn't bother me as much as I would have expected it to.

Ttbb · 30/08/2017 15:42

I would send her to the good school. Many people I went to school with travelled upwards of an hour. It's not a big deal.

Jaxhog · 30/08/2017 15:44

Re your son, if the Catholic primary wasn't the right environment for him, then the Catholic secondary may not be either. While it might be handy for you for both DCs to go to the same school, it isn't necessarily good for them.

theymademejoin · 30/08/2017 15:44

Wrt the commute, I think how long it takes to get there is more the issue, rather than actual distance. I would also consider where her school friends are likely to be living.

I didn't send ds to my preferred secondary school 15km away as its catchment was huge and the year he was starting there were no other pupils starting who lived anywhere near us (I asked the principal). Instead I sent him to a secondary 6km away. While this also has a reasonably sized catchment, there were loads of local kids going there. It makes a huge difference for socialising.

For primary, I chose the school 6km away rather than the local one 1.5km away as many of the local kids go to that primary and it was a better school.

SweetLuck · 30/08/2017 15:44

I wouldn't want my DC cycling on a road at all

Confused Why on earth not? Obviously it depends on the type of roads, but if the OP is suggesting it as an option then I think we can safely assume that it will be OK.

RB68 · 30/08/2017 15:46

your child is both academic and a grafter she is likely to do well at both so you need to look at other criteria

visit both schools with your list - think about

what extra curricular stuff is available and at what cost/free
get a feel for the school and the teachers/head of year support.
try and speak to others at the school particularly kids as in secondary there is less parental interaction so kids views are better
Is she a home girl - ie likes her time at home or works best when not tired/worn out etc
Where are other local children going ie that live around you
Try and get time with the headteacher to understand what their plans for the school are, what their attitudes are how they interact with you and the kids

We chose the school based on the feel of the environment, the state of the buildings, the welcome we got and the interactions we had - we knew our DD would likely to as well in each - another academic grafter. We gave her the choice in the end and she still chose the school that scored best even though her bestie was going to the other one.

The cycling thing is clearly a none issue as there is an option of a bus if needed

mmgirish · 30/08/2017 15:46

Catholic teaching style that made me laugh out loud!

ThunderR0ad78 · 30/08/2017 15:47

Yes they are both baptised and have done their first holy communion so that's not an issue but like you say this is definitely required, even for a move for my son in to the Catholic primary!

OP posts:
imnottoofussed · 30/08/2017 15:49

I'd have a read of the ofsted for the local school to see how they meet the needs of high achievers, if they do well in that area and your DD seems to be in that category then she will be most likely to do well at the local school.

BeyondThePage · 30/08/2017 15:49

I would look at it from an out-of-hours point of view -

how easy is it to get to for school trips - they often start at stupid-o-clock - 5am for one to Germany for instance from our school -

how about after school sports - often school clubs at secondary will go to away matches after school and drop them back at school after 7pm -

secondary often shuts early at the end of terms - often 2pm -

how easy and safe is it to travel at those times -

or would they be dropped off and picked up?

WhitePhantom · 30/08/2017 15:51

If the 'better' schools is only 10 miles away, then I'm guessing the commute can't take very long - she's not going to be travelling for an hour or anything? I'd prefer train and walking with others rather than cycling on her own, specially once it's dark early.

The other thing is that while she's well-behaved, other students may not be, and that would disrupt her - so a strict school would suit her better in that others won't be disrupting her studies by 'acting the maggot'.

Copperbeech33 · 30/08/2017 15:51

the Catholic school is renowned for its strictness but much of this will not apply to DD

it will have huge affect on her, because it will affect the behaviour of the children she is sitting next to.

If you have an opportunity to get your child into a school where you have good reason to think high behavioural standards are upheld, then go for it!

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