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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be shocked at how many overweight kids there are here?

956 replies

glasgowsfinest · 29/08/2017 18:18

Have got my fireproof hat in place, here goes...! I'm currently at a Butlin's-type holiday park on the south coast. As you can imagine, it's jammed full of kids of all ages. I'm genuinely shocked at how many of them, from pre-schoolers to older teens, are significantly overweight. I don't think puppy fat can be used as an excuse for all of them. Thinking back to my childhood, overweight kids were the exception, not the rule, but now it seems the opposite. I have two children who by no means have a perfect diet, and eat more chocolate and watch more TV than I thought I'd allow, but they're active too and don't seen to have any fat on them at all! Maybe they're just "lucky", I don't know. But the sheer numbers of chunky kids made me feel quite sad.

OP posts:

User998877 · 30/08/2017 13:51

Ultimately parents are responsible for their dc... not the government!

I have two boys, one very sporty, the other one hates sport and as the parent I have to work hard to ensure the non sporty one gets enough exercise, which isn't always easy. I also have to put up with grumpy dc at times regarding what their friends are allowed to eat/drink.

I am fortunate that we are able to treat the dc in many ways, holidays, days out, activities after school and more. Many families cannot and sometimes food becomes the only treat for these dc.

Titanz · 30/08/2017 13:52

I agree some kids over eat and don't exercise but it's a fact that some people are naturally more likely to struggle weight wise.

In what way do you mean 'naturally'?

Do you mean have conditions that make it harder for them to lose weight and easier to gain?

Because those are over-estimated, and in many cases it's just that the medications or condition increases appetite, not the actual difficulty in metabolism.

It's hard for most people to lose weight, and easy to gain. It's just a simple fact because food tastes amazing.

KarateKitten · 30/08/2017 13:56

I grew up in a very good food environment and my parents to this day have a very healthy attitude to food, neither of them even in their 60's are carrying any weight whatsoever. My sister and I are also healthy weights and for me, having 4 kids back to back, I see my weight increasing as I struggle to reflect new body requirements and hormone/morning sickness/bf related compulsive eating but I am very well able to settle back to my former weight once things settle down.

I'm surrounded by people, both family and neighbours etc with serious weight issues. And I see all day every day my children being exposed to bad eating habits left, right and centre. Everyone wants to treat my kids with sweet shit and dilute juice and bloody treats with every snack and meal. I have to work very hard to not offend anyone but also lay the groundwork for their future health. It's a daily battle. And everyone seems so oblivious to how bad all this stuff is!

It's not about judgement. It's education. But I understand people getting very defensive about being educated on something like this.

I'm glad schools are trying to control lunchboxes, it's desperately needed.

MumIsRunningAMarathon · 30/08/2017 13:57

I do actually think the government should make it harder for fast foot outlets. I know this is people's livelihoods and businesses but come on, do we need these places on every corner of every high st? Several variations of the same places.... some towns have 3/4 mac Donald's branches

Gromance02 · 30/08/2017 14:00

I know there is vanity sizing for adults but is it the same for children? I don't have kids so wouldn't know. This is such a big factor nowadays in terms of kidding people into thinking they are a lot slimmer than they are due to clothes sizes. 25 years ago, I was a size 10 & I was very slim - about same size as Kate Middleton. I am now about 3 stones heaver and bought a size 12 top the other day when I know I am much more likely to be nearer a 16/18!

Ollivander84 · 30/08/2017 14:01

You couldn't work a two tier NHS though. If you took my BMI, I'm obese

I had recent extensive emergency spinal surgery which was 5hrs under GA. I needed no care after except obs and a dressing change, and was walking an hour after the op. The anaesthetist had absolutely no concerns about my weight at all. So if they had seen obese BMI and allocated extra staff it would have been wasted

MumIsRunningAMarathon · 30/08/2017 14:02

What about if you had needed abdominal surgery though?

TipTopTipTopClop · 30/08/2017 14:05

I grew up eating 70s shite - meatloaf, macaroni and cheese, hideous stir frys, lots of red meat. My mother never taught me how to cook.

When my first baby was weaning, I had never even boiled pasta, but I instinctively knew that my time to cook had arrived.

Threenme · 30/08/2017 14:06

titanzMy ds for example is not overweight but he is on his bike and running round morning until night. Incredibly active. We are lucky that we have a big green outside our house where all the kids play and it's quite an old fashioned childhood really it's safe to play until dark. They do more exercise than guidelines suggest without a doubt. He is still what you'd call built. Not fat but not a doubt in my mind he'd be overweight if he didn't have the opportunity to exercise easily like he does. He has exactly same build as dh who has to work so hard just to keep weight reasonable. Dd in comparision has a slight frame without a lb of excess fat. They do the same and are fed the same. Some people I think are 'less lucky'. user99 agree completely about food being some people's only treat, which is very sad but if that's your oppuyunity to make kids happy I see rightly or wrongly why it's taken.

Getout21 · 30/08/2017 14:07

I think there might be vanity sizing for kids. My eldest is 3.5 & I would say normal size (you can see ribs) & apart from leggings I cannot buy him age 3 shorts or trousers as they fall down. He was wearing 12-18m shorts yesterday.

Fireandflames666 · 30/08/2017 14:08

When I split with my ex i moved to a lower income area. A lot of the children here are massively over weight as are the parents. It's really sad to see it.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 30/08/2017 14:09

The only logical outcome is a two-tier NHS. There is no way, as this problem progresses, that the non-obese citizens will tolerate the enormous diversion of budget to obesity.

Can we have a separate system for addicts then? Alcoholics on system, drug addicts one system. A smoker? Then another system for you.

Then what about those who get hurt playing sports and end up with serious conditions?

Let's also not pretend that all 'none obese' people are fit and healthy because they aren't.

DameDoom · 30/08/2017 14:09

Gromance I think there must be. When I tidy the cloakroom, I am always shocked by the size of jumpers which state 11years old in them - there is a huge variation depending on the school outfitter.
I lent a pair of my own trackie bottoms to a child and the elastic was stretched out of all recognition afterwards - they were quite voluminous trackies that could have fitted up to an adult size 14 easily. Poor child was mortified.

megletthesecond · 30/08/2017 14:11

Gro yy, some stores vanity size. My ds is almost 11 and still in Gap cargo shorts in age 6. DD is almost 9 and wearing age 3-4 tesco pj's shorts to bed .

Ollivander84 · 30/08/2017 14:12

Mum - there wouldn't have been any issues with abdominal surgery at all

Titanz · 30/08/2017 14:13

threenme

What's the age difference between the two, I'm just asking because they're opposite sex which gives different nutritional requirements at different stages of their development. At times they will need more than one another, at times they will need less. All sorts of hormonal and growth changes going on so a one size fits all approach for your DD and DS when it comes to food might be a contributing factor? Not saying that MUST be the case but it's something to consider.

On another note, people put a lot of emphasis on exercise when it's diet that is the main issue. I often hear 'I exercise a lot so shouldnt be overweight' but no exercise can't really make up for a bad diet unless you're hammering it.

TipTopTipTopClop · 30/08/2017 14:16

Can we have a separate system for addicts then? Alcoholics on system, drug addicts one system. A smoker? Then another system for you.

Alcohol and smoking don't cost nearly as much as obesity. Obesity is the single greatest thread to the NHS's viability. There is no way to directly tax obesity as efficiently as smoking and alcohol.

Sirzy · 30/08/2017 14:16

Ds is underweight and I really struggle to find clothes which fit him. Most high street brands even with adjustable waists as tight as possible are no good.

My nephews are all average/slightly over average if you go off the charts and they need adjustable waists for most things to fit

Ollivander84 · 30/08/2017 14:18

The thing is not all the obese people are costing the NHS. If you're talking about someone who's 30 stone then yes. Someone who's BMI puts them as obese - not necessarily
My weight causes me no issues and I exercise regularly. My medical problems are not related to my weight in any way

TipTopTipTopClop · 30/08/2017 14:20

The thing is not all the obese people are costing the NHS. If you're talking about someone who's 30 stone then yes. Someone who's BMI puts them as obese - not necessarily

I can only go by what the NHS says.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 30/08/2017 14:22

The thing is not all the obese people are costing the NHS. If you're talking about someone who's 30 stone then yes. Someone who's BMI puts them as obese - not necessarily
My weight causes me no issues and I exercise regularly. My medical problems are not related to my weight in any way

I agree.

My medical issues are nothing to do with my weight.

My unhealthy friends DH who eats nearly nothing but junk food is what you would call slim. He had a triple heart bypass over the summer.

Ollivander84 · 30/08/2017 14:22

I get that. But the difference in cost between someone who is 1lb over into obese and someone who is 35 stone and bed bound who have to be worked out
If I'm obese and eat well and exercise and don't smoke, but my not obese friend eats junk, doesn't exercise, binge drinks and smokes, who is healthier? It's complicated

Threenme · 30/08/2017 14:22

There is 11 month between them tatanz. Dd 5 and ds is 4 I'd say she is less than an inch taller than him but he is broader across the shoulders. I admit I do treat them a bit like I've got twins- they eat exactly the same with regards to the portions I give them etc. Don't know if with such a small gap it would be an issue? I'm no expert. But he would eat a lot more than her given the chance. I think this is why I'm more inclined to think some people will be naturally be more likely to struggle. I think they eat healthily but I'm not adverse to say fajitas one night full of veg, fresh chicken etc, and then nuggets and chips another if we're rushing. I definitely think I do portions that are fine, know this can be a real issue. I do think the main causes of obesity are finances and lack of knowledge.

chirpyburbycheapsheep · 30/08/2017 14:22

Can we have a separate system for addicts then? Alcoholics on system, drug addicts one system. A smoker? Then another system for you.

Interesting comment when you find that scientists are finding that sugar can be addictive as crack:

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23719144

We were never meant to have access to as much sugar as we do now. Our minds and bodies can't cope. Interestingly there was another study that found that sugar on its own and fat on its own isn't addictive for rats. It was when the two were combined that the rats became obese and couldn't stop eating the cheesecake the scientists had given them.

misshelena · 30/08/2017 14:23

Her friends seem to be allowed so many snacks that it is difficult to limit hers and when I do she says I think she is fat!

Sequin My dd2 (14yo) does the same thing! They are smart girls who have learned how to guilt their parents into silence. I won't have it though. Just a couple nights ago, I told her very specifically that it is my job, as her mom, to tell her when I think she is overeating, overspending, over-involved with girl or boy drama, under-studying, under-exercising, etc. etc. I gave her examples of what happens to kids-she-knows when parents look the other way. And I told her that her cheap "guilt trips" will not prevent me from doing my job as her mom.

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