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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To be shocked at how many overweight kids there are here?

956 replies

glasgowsfinest · 29/08/2017 18:18

Have got my fireproof hat in place, here goes...! I'm currently at a Butlin's-type holiday park on the south coast. As you can imagine, it's jammed full of kids of all ages. I'm genuinely shocked at how many of them, from pre-schoolers to older teens, are significantly overweight. I don't think puppy fat can be used as an excuse for all of them. Thinking back to my childhood, overweight kids were the exception, not the rule, but now it seems the opposite. I have two children who by no means have a perfect diet, and eat more chocolate and watch more TV than I thought I'd allow, but they're active too and don't seen to have any fat on them at all! Maybe they're just "lucky", I don't know. But the sheer numbers of chunky kids made me feel quite sad.

OP posts:
m0therofdragons · 30/08/2017 09:56

Kids eat too much - easy to give them a biscuit than to chop fruit (I'm guilty of this but dc are healthy weight and as they're getting older I'm less knackered).

Dc do also have different builds/needs so treating all dc the same isn't helpful. I have 3 dc. Dd1 only ate fruit and veg for the first 3 years of her life - hated cakes and meat. She's now a great eater trying everything but is underweight and very long and gangly. Dd2 has broader shoulders than her twin sister and is just bigger built, her identical twin being much more dainty. That said dd2 isn't overweight but I fear she'll struggle more with her weight than the other too and loves her food. I try to teach them to limit their food and snacks.

According to mn I'm controlling as I don't allow dc to take food from the kitchen without asking. Partly it's so I can see what needs replacing and partly it's because they're 6 and 9 so I'm responsible for what they eat. I remember posting a while ago and was met with shock at how controlling I was - to me my dc are just polite and ask "please may I have a biscuit?" that way I can be sure they've not had 10 each.

Gromance02 · 30/08/2017 09:57

Genuine question: Why don't children play out like they did 20-30 years ago? Like cycling off out for an hour after school before dinner?

CockPisssPartridge · 30/08/2017 09:58

mother Mine aren't allowed to take food without asking either. Although my eldest even asks me if she's allowed to go upstairs sometimes Grin
Her friends must think I'm some sort of angry monster.

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/08/2017 10:01

Mine don't help themselves either dragons

I can't afford to throw away food because they filled up on juice or ate all the strswberries or took dps crisps that were for work.

We don't do milk in my house but if certainly have a few things to say if I came home to see they'd drunk 6 pints between them.

Food is for everyone afterall I can't be running out replacing stuff all the time. Witg what money?. There's nothing clever imo about kids eating the quantities often reported on MN

Natsku · 30/08/2017 10:02

DD isn't allowed to take food without asking either but is free to eat berries from the garden whenever she wants (but tends to ask first anyway)

RudeDog · 30/08/2017 10:04

@Gromance02 cars that's why - I live on a 20 mph road - cars come whizzing past as they are trying to avoid the main road/lights nearby

I wouldn't dare let DD play out there. I spent most of my childhood out on a bike, after people went to work in the morning there were few cars around - now stay at home parents have cars too (and teenagers)

We are lucky - childminder has a big garden and she plays outside there for 2 hours after school

Namechangearoo · 30/08/2017 10:06

I haven't RTFT sorry, but just to mention that I'm a British expat in Scandinavia. When I go "home", I'm shocked by the sheer number of overweight people, children included. It just doesn't seem such a big problem here.

I don't doubt that at least some of the problem in the U.K. is economic but it doesn't seem to be the case that lower-income families struggle more over here - so I wonder why that is.

Cantseethewoods · 30/08/2017 10:06

Why don't children play out like they did 20-30 years ago? Like cycling off out for an hour after school before dinner?

Just off the top of my head...

  • more mothers work and children are in childcare until 6pm
  • much more traffic which makes cycling/ playing in the street more dangerous
  • perceived danger of abductions etc. and greater society judgement for hands off parenting.
  • breakdown of communities and feeling of collective responsibility towards children
  • competing interests like Minecraft/ Ipads and a lot more choice for TV etc
WorraLiberty · 30/08/2017 10:09

Mine aren't allowed to snack either without checking with us first, and they're both teens now.

They just stayed in the habit. It's handy, especially if it's getting close to meal times or if they're asking for biscuits/crisps and I know they've had quite a few already. That's my cue to direct them towards the fruit bowl instead.

ClarasZoo · 30/08/2017 10:12

I notice fat kids too. I was a fat kid and I am a fat adult. It's very hard to break the cycle if you start off fat so I feel very sad for those kids. Not sure what the solution is though. Nothing short of rationing is going to turn the clock back is it? Fattening food is too easy and available...

Burntcustard · 30/08/2017 10:13

Agree with Worra on the threads boasting about eating all the kids' Eater Eggs. I often feel like posting why they want to do that to themselves, and whether they'd like their kids or grandkids to do the same. But that would be fat-shaming....

wineusuallyhelps · 30/08/2017 10:15

No way motherofdragons, my children aren't allowed to take food without asking either!

It's partly so I can monitor healthy eating; partly because I buy enough of everything for the week and I don't want to find that, say, all the carrots or the crisps are gone in two days!

My eldest will happily make (admittedly healthy) fruit smoothies that are three times bigger than he needs to consume at one time. That needs controlling because I'm not made of money Grin

Nancy91 · 30/08/2017 10:21

So many reasons!

Snack culture and the inability to say no to children.

Using food as an easy way to occupy children.

Obese parents setting bad examples to kids.

The assumption that it is just puppy fat and ignorance of the fact that the child is learning unhealthy habits that could last a lifetime.

HalfShellHero · 30/08/2017 10:29

I have a child with a weight issue and one not, their eating is incredibly compulsive relentless and devious, its sad to see they know they need to loose weight but body craves constantly, CAMHS wont offer support under 5 soooo.....why do families do ours do? Just never go anywhere? Its not always a case of parents just give them what they like etc although i appreciate it is often.

HalfShellHero · 30/08/2017 10:30

That should read *what do families like ours do?

Gromance02 · 30/08/2017 10:42

halfshell How can a child under 5 get any food other than that which you give them? Also I don't know what you mean by What do families like ours do? Just never go anywhere?

m0therofdragons · 30/08/2017 10:44

their eating is incredibly compulsive relentless and devious
I'm struggling to understand this. At 5yo a dc has no money to pop to the shop to buy cakes etc and is short enough to put food out of reach. Padlock on the fridge if need be. If you don't control eating at 5 and say no etc then the dc will never learn to control.

I don't mean to sound harsh but I'm aware I do. All 5yos have their challenges. Dd2 (as I said previously is a lover of food). She knows that when allowed biscuits 2 is the maximum and some days the answer will be no. If she asks for food I either offer an alternative but not sold to her as a "healthy" alternative just "no biscuits but you can have a few grapes... go and see if there are any raspberries ready in the garden" etc or "it's nearly dinner but here, have a drink" so I'm not denying it as such just distraction and alternatives. My dtds are 6.

I also often do dinner as serving platters a couple of times a week so they can dish up themselves/learn how to portion control.

Sirzy · 30/08/2017 10:45

gromance I think your post shows, unintentionally, the level of ignorance and judgment which surrounds children with eating problems. Often parents can only control so much.

I have the opposite issue with ds - he is a good refuser and would happily never eat anything other than kit Kat chunky and mango - but often get helpful comments like "don't worry he won't starve himself" or "just make him eat it"

HalfShellHero · 30/08/2017 10:46

Think about it, i said compulsive behaviour,devious,obsessive behaviour. Like i said i appreciate this is the exception rather than the rule. My DS clearly has complex pyschological issues, which is sometimes the case. On the thread i made a while back many posters came back saying theyd experienced similar as children.

HalfShellHero · 30/08/2017 10:50

Yes Sirzy, spot on , my HV was very handy until 2 of her suggestions and me seeking assesment fell through. Not it appears shes fell of the edge of the earth leaving me inthe wildnerness. It will be those types of people who will judge me in years to come if the issue doesnt resolve.

wink1970 · 30/08/2017 11:06

slightly off topic (though not completely) I found this article when looking for an Onion Soup recipe earlier. The writer is interviewed about changing her childrens' food habits.

www.bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/karen-le-billion-french-children-eat-anything

Babyroobs · 30/08/2017 11:10

YANBU. And the obese parents are in denial about their kids weight. I have a friend with 2 seriously obese kids but she won't hear the word diet mentioned ( I kind of understand that ) or promote healthy eating for fear of them becoming anorexic.

TipTopTipTopClop · 30/08/2017 11:15

The issue is not how the poorer among us should cook more healthily/buy lentils but rather how everyone should have enough money to buy real food.

Are you suggesting that lentils are not real food?

MrsOverTheRoad · 30/08/2017 11:20

Tip oh don't be silly.

People on low incomes often have to CHOOSE.

Milk or bread?

Potatoes or frozen pizza?"

I've only got two pounds...what shall I buy that will have the biggest impact?

A bag of chips from the chippy?

A packet of frozen hamburgers?

A sack of lentils?

Mellington · 30/08/2017 11:22

Issues that I see are:
-Junk food pretending to be healthy. Dried fruit bars, cereal bars, lentil crisps. Still junk food.
-Misunderstanding: I asked a mum about the recipe for the lovely cake she made 'oh it's sugar free, I used honey and golden syrup instead'
-Snacking: morning snack was never a thing when I was growing up, breakfast and then lunch at 12. We had a snack when we came in from school. Three biscuits (a party ring, chocolate digestive etc not 3 biscuit bars).
-Portion size: We eat like the three bears, Daddy size, mummy size and baby bear. Baby bear has a much smaller plate.

My DS is 50th percentile for height and weight but i find it almost impossible to get trousers to fit that don't fall down, I had exactly the same problems and couldn't ever wear jeans growing up as the waist was always too big.