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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To be shocked at how many overweight kids there are here?

956 replies

glasgowsfinest · 29/08/2017 18:18

Have got my fireproof hat in place, here goes...! I'm currently at a Butlin's-type holiday park on the south coast. As you can imagine, it's jammed full of kids of all ages. I'm genuinely shocked at how many of them, from pre-schoolers to older teens, are significantly overweight. I don't think puppy fat can be used as an excuse for all of them. Thinking back to my childhood, overweight kids were the exception, not the rule, but now it seems the opposite. I have two children who by no means have a perfect diet, and eat more chocolate and watch more TV than I thought I'd allow, but they're active too and don't seen to have any fat on them at all! Maybe they're just "lucky", I don't know. But the sheer numbers of chunky kids made me feel quite sad.

OP posts:
AvaCrowder2 · 30/08/2017 01:03

I think that noticing the trend isn't fat shaming.
But, and it's a big but for me, if I have noticed anything about my dd she has accused me of fat shaming.
So on a societal level it's fine, but for me, on an individual level it's a personal attack.
I'm pretty thin, I am not going to be horrid to my teen dd about her weight, or anything connected with her appearance.

It's really easy to notice the trend in society, it's not really easy to address it.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 30/08/2017 01:07

I think there is a complex range of factors at play. For a minority there will be individual health/ development factors, but that doesn't explain a significant change in the numbers of overweight/ obese children as well as the mirroring trend in adulthood.

Life is rushed which affects food choices and activity levels. When I was working F/T, I found myself picking DS1 up from after school club by car because I couldn't afford to lose 5 minutes per day to park up at home en-route and lug a shattered DS2 the 200m walk to school. That 5x5 minutes was 25 minutes per week which was two classes worth of data analysis. I'm pleased to report that since ditching the job we have walked/ biked/ scooted every school run Wink

Children's activity has become more formalised. DS does a couple of classes per week, but the reality is that much of that 90 minutes is waiting his turn. On paper it sounds good (and he is getting benefits from these sports) but it makes a minimal amount of difference compared to the wider impacts of where he walks from A-B, how he plays at break/ lunchtime, general play at home, playgrounds etc.

Foods have more complex ingredients than they traditionally did, and the full impacts of that are probably unclear. "Healthier" choices are often deceptive.

Snacking is much more prevalent in society. I didn't get in the habit of regular snacks during weaning. The DCs still had access to milk anyway and I wasn't organised enough to lug a load of rice cakes and crudites wherever we went. DS1 regularly comes home with sweets from various sources including things like birthdays at school, much more than I did 30 years ago.

We still have a waste not, want not culture as a legacy of WW2 and days of scarcer food supply. This doesn't combine well with a plentiful supply of calorie dense food. If my DCs have eaten less than usual I tend to ask "is your tummy happy" and remind them that there's nothing else until the next meal. I notice several friends and family pushing at children (and occasionally trying to prompt mine) to eat more and more and turning it into a battle.

We are losing sight of healthy body shapes. My DCs are of a healthy weight, but do look very lean and ribby compared to most. DS1 needs age 5-6 t-shirts for length (he is 6) but he looks like he's falling out of the shoulders, and is still in 3-4 shorts for the waist. I ditched the 2-3s when they began to look like hot pants! He would need several extra inches around the middle to fill age appropriate clothes (although he has slim. These days the illustrations of old books such as Peter and Jane would look thin rather than the normal range. We're told that you can't overfeed babies, so chubby toddlers are no concern. The problem is that around the pre-school age group they should lose that chubbier look and many children don't. They're not obviously overweight, just softer looking until they get to the junior school years. It doesn't take much surplus drip feeding on over time to cause a problem that then becomes apparent at the y6 check. I've taught so many teenagers that huff and puff up the stairs to their classroom because they are unfit and noticeably overweight despite loose fitting uniform. That becomes a barrier to them when they have little confidence at sports, and avoid it as much as possible.

We have lots of euphemisms like "built like a rugby player". Children do have different builds. Some will have wider chests than others, but while a broad built child might look a little like a rugby player in his lean, muscular prime, they shouldn't look like a middle-aged rugby player who's going to seed.

It is hard. There's a lot of time pressure, peer pressure, misinformation and poor opportunities around (thinks of ravenous post-swimming DCs and the crisp/ chocolate laden vending machine...) Some level of it is parental choice (mine aren't always the best), some genes and general health, and a lot of it is down to an obesegenic society, but on a societal level it is a problem, and we are facing an upcoming generation with a significant proportion of avoidable health problems ahead of them.

As a society of consumers, corporations and political standard setting we do need to do more to make positive, healthy choices easier and more accessible.

Cantseethewoods · 30/08/2017 05:57

Agree with somewhat that you really need to look at this at societal level to make sense of it. If you try to overlay your own experiences, you get too many variations - i.e. pp said they ate a lot of crap growing up- that may be true for them but it definitely wasn't for me, for example- my mum was crunchy-mum zero Grin.

If you look at macro things that have definitely happened in the last 20-30 years, and then consider that humans are predispositioned to like calorie dense foods I'm actually amazed that anyone is not overweight.

  • Food has become cheaper relative to wages
  • The number of food retailing/ takeaway outlets has exploded (Starbucks came to the UK in 1998- I never saw a chain coffee shop till i was 23) and the opportunities for all day/casual dining have also increased exponentially. All that's left on the high streets are food, nail bars and estate agents.
  • The variety of highly palatable and ready to eat foods in supermarkets has increased.
  • The number of adults who smoke has fallen from 50% to 15% since 1970. Coffee and a ciggie is now coffee and a biscuit.

Its just a lot easier to eat than it was. If you wanted cake on a Sunday 30 years ago you probably had to make it or go without. If you wanted chocolate at 7pm, you probably just went without.

I lend some credence to the theory that it's about people moving less (particularly kids) but I'm not sure how important it is relative to diet - I live in HK and it's fair to say that most HK kids do FA exercise but they're mostly slim - HK Chinese people do not snack much (if at all) though and they're not big on sweet foods.

TipTopTipTopClop · 30/08/2017 06:57

Once the big corporates figured out that there was a booming market for cheap food, and that it's inversely proportional to income, it's not difficult to understand the chicken shop patterns and density.

You could use zoning and licensing laws to control this, just as with gambling and alcohol, but then that would be considered social cleansing/engineering by certain factions. There's not a huge number of options for a high street in a deprived area.

If you look at North End Road, it has a good number of chicken shops, Gregs, Mcdonalds, pizza, etc. It also has a lot of 'Eastern' shops where you can buy (cheap as chips?) lentils etc. You don't see much overlap between the customers.

Steeley113 · 30/08/2017 07:16

I completely agree, we recently went to a holiday park and noticed it too! Over weight kids being fed streams of crisps, slushes and Belgian waffles!

As a health professional, it worries me! But god forbid (in a professional context) you tell someone their child is overweight. You get slated! The amount of parents refusing their children to be weighed is increasing. It's like they want to bury their head in the sand.

strawberrygate · 30/08/2017 07:41

Who can cook a simple meal from scratch most people. Bung a jacket potato in and have with half a tin of tuna. Is that sort of thing really difficult?

MrsSchadenfreude · 30/08/2017 07:41

I came down to Cornwall on the train on Saturday. There was a family sitting opposite me. They had a hugely overweight child, who must have been 7 or 8. In three hours on this train, this child had: five doughnuts, a litre of chocolate milk, two cans of Coke and a family sized bag of crisps. Her little brother, who was about 6, had a Mars bar and a bottle of water. As we were preparing to leave the train, she was opening a can of Tango and a packet of party rings. What were the parents thinking? They weren't overweight and neither was her brother. Her brother was offered the food she was putting away, but didn't want any of it.

ArgyMargy · 30/08/2017 07:46

YABU to be shocked. It is well known that 20% of Year 6 children are obese and 40% are overweight or obese. Hence all the drama over government childhood obesity strategy. Or maybe you don't follow current affairs.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 30/08/2017 07:49

Back earlier this year their was a similiar thread which ended up deleted. Most of mumsnet were in denial or saying it's not something they see etc etc

No threads get deleted on this because there is fat shaming, nastiness, finger pointing and holier than though attitudes.

There have also been posts like that in this thread hence the deletions.

youarenotkiddingme · 30/08/2017 07:49

Lifestyles are a major factor.

I reason about 95% of times I arrange to meet friends in town I'll suggest 1/1.30pm and they'll reply that they though 11/11.30 and then getting lunch. Lunch is fast food place.

The same with swimming/woods/park/beach etc. And I'm not talking about people suggesting a day out - which I will happily buy food for but a few hours that could easily be fitted in between meals.

Otoh I don't deny ds food. If we went to a swimming pool for the afternoon (say 1-4) then I'd have a drink and something carby for him afterwards but we'd come home to something in the slow cooker for dinner.
I tend to drive ds and myself separately now because I just can't justify the expense or repeated trips to the drive through on the way home from somewhere for 'convenience'.

And I have noticed it change and even me change my attitude. Back when he was younger swimming always preceded a McDonald's or chips in the cafe. But as it seems to have become part of most people's day out I've had to change. Because it's not just swimming anymore - it's every time we leave the house and meet people!

MumIsRunningAMarathon · 30/08/2017 07:53

Wasn't referring to the reason it was deleted piglet

Just saying it's a different attitude now , we can see the problem a lot clearer

Dizzybintess · 30/08/2017 07:54

I was a ridiculously thin child with spidery legs and so was my hubby. As adults we are both carrying a few pounds. Our DD is tall and slim and I have noticed that she has naturally chosen to choose healthier options. She prefers sushi to McDonald's
Like any child she has a sweet tooth though so hope she can control it as she grows up.
A little girl in one of her activity classes has been very overweight since she was 3 both parents are fit and thin. I often wondered why the daughter was ow. On a treat day to kfc we saw her with dad. Rather than the kids meal she had an adults big daddy box meal and a krushem and an ice-cream and were sharing extra boneless pieces. Even I would have struggled with that and I'm not 6. The child becomes really breathless at the activity she does. It's hard to say no to children sometimes but as parents we have to do the right thing x

TipTopTipTopClop · 30/08/2017 08:08

I'm not at all convinced that lifting people out of poverty (isn't that what benefits are supposed to do?) would reverse this trend. Food is a cultural rather than financial issue.

I can't get my head around the fact nuggets and chips are the risk-free dinner and that something like lentils could be considered polarising. I always found that if my kids had a gristly bite of a nugget, they'd reject the whole lot.

I've always been bemused by the middle-class association with lentils. They're traditionally peasant food, and they are so bland and tasty (depending on how you cook them, obviously) that I could only consider them comfort food - sort of like a baked potato.

wineusuallyhelps · 30/08/2017 08:08

I agree OP.

I would never comment on this to parents in real life, and most definitely not the kids (as a child, my mum would hint that I was fat when I wasn't, so I know how it feels Hmm).

I work with children so can definitely see the difference from my own school days.

I think some of the issues are:

  • processed food is cheaper than fresh
  • acceptable portion size has become too large, encouraged by fast food outlets
  • fast food itself is seen as a normal meal by some people, to have several times a week, rather than an occasional treat
  • children do not move their bodies as much - PE in primary schools is sometimes an afterthought and screens/today's dangers lessen time spent playing outside
  • some parents are unable to say no to their children so do not limit unhealthy snacks (sometimes this comes from wanting to make their child happy)
  • it is too easy for older children who are allowed out alone to go to the shops and buy crappy drinks and food for less than £1 (my own children do this although they are not yet overweight)

It is a real problem but I don't know how we as a society can solve it.

Thirtyrock39 · 30/08/2017 08:12

I do find it so depressing. No portion control , constant snacking, know lots of kids who have a takeaway Chinese most weeks ...I'm a bit old fashioned but think it's a lot of parents who can't say 'no' to their kids ...the soundtrack of my childhood was 'get your head out of that fridge' !!

TipTopTipTopClop · 30/08/2017 08:15

I think some of the issues are:
- processed food is cheaper than fresh

No one is ever going to agree on this, are they?

If you reject the notion of potatoes, beans, pulses, cheap fruit and vegetables e.g. broccoli and bananas (all of which I can make into something delicious, and would be part of my primary rotation of food), then of course you're going to find frozen food cheaper.

schoolgaterebel · 30/08/2017 08:17

I agree, I cannot understand why educated, intelligent and loving parents who are doing their very best in all other aspects of parenting overfeed their children to the point that they are overweight.

Once it is a problem it is very hard to turn it around.

MrsOverTheRoad · 30/08/2017 08:24

TipTop I bet you have a cupboard full of herbs and spices don't you?

I do too...but I'm aware enough to know that LOTS of people don't and have no idea how to use them.

Boiled lentils don't sound great to a short-of-cash young Mother who'se trying to find something filling, cheap and tasty for her family.

Nuttynoo · 30/08/2017 08:26

@MrsOverTheRoad - and yet boiled lentils is exactly what a lot of short of cash young Asian immigrant mothers feed their kids.

TipTopTipTopClop · 30/08/2017 08:30

You could make the most basic lentils with salt, pepper and oil. Maybe a dollop of yogurt. No different than pasta or noodles, really.

Fekko · 30/08/2017 08:30

That's pretty much Dahl! I'd rather eat boring/bland food than fatty/sweet rubbish. Not that Dahl is bland or boring - I love it.

Too much processed food/part processed food. People think it's cheap and quick - but often it's not really.

Nuttynoo · 30/08/2017 08:30

I think the issue of fast food is a red herring. Plenty of people can't afford to eat out at McD's/BK all the time. They're getting their cheap unhealthy food at home from the supermarket, and in addition many people from deprived areas don't get exercise because it's not exactly safe to wonder out for a healthy stroll after dark in some areas. I grew up in areas where leaving after 6 could get you raped or stabbed so many just didn't go and didn't let their kids go either.

Woofsaidtheladybird · 30/08/2017 08:31

Interesting reading

I teach about childhood obesity to 2nd year children's nursing students. It is on the rise and depressingly so. The RCPCH have very interesting facts and data. The national child measurement programme also provides data too.

Not sure if this link works as I'm on my phone:

www.rcpch.ac.uk/obesity

Nuttynoo · 30/08/2017 08:34

@TipTopTipTopClop - The cheapest way to cook lentils is the Indian way - you can batch cook with onion/garlic/green chilli/tomato (all dirt cheap from Indian grocers because they are usually supplied on the cheap locally) and it can last you months if frozen and padded out with homemade rotis/flat breads and whatever tinned veg you can afford on a given day.