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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate my neighbours?

112 replies

PumpkinSpiceEverything · 29/08/2017 14:25

Thankfully we're moving into a house we're buying in a month or so, but we've been renting our current house for the past year. I cannot - repeat CANNOT - wait to get away from our current neighbours. I'm going to sound like a horrible person but I don't care.

The attached neighbour to the left of us is an old man who smokes cigarillos day and night and any time we're in the garden it's all you can smell. He's always covered in some kind of skin lesions and tucks his shirt into his pants and insists on having a conversation when we try to get in our car, obviously on our way somewhere. But he's not pleasant to have conversations with - it will always go something like "Hello, how are you" (Me) we're fine thanks, yourself? "Horrible" (and then he proceeds to talk about whatever is making him miserable, usually something gross and medical) And he's DIRTY (looks like he hardly bathes) and constantly tries to touch our DD's hands or face when he FOLLOWS us to our car to try to start one of these hideously unpleasant conversations. He also has this habit of crashing about late at night and making a huge amount of noise --which DH and I hope is him falling down the stairs finally.

Behind us is a neighbour with a 19 year old son who has a heavy metal rock band that will insist on practicing for 4+ hours at a time. We tried to ask them to stop several times, especially when out in our own garden with guests over and it's a deafening racket. They were mouthy and rude so we filed multiple noise complaints after recording how loud it was from inside our house with doors and windows closed (You'd be driven mad too if your less-than-1-Year-old couldn't nap for 3+ days in a row) and now, luckily, they've chosen to take their "band practice" elsewhere.

Across the street are two young guys who share a 2 bed house, they're probably early 20s, and they've recently taken up an interest in motorbikes. As well as leaving them running idle in the driveway for 10+ minutes while they go BACK inside to get dressed, they've taken to inviting lots of their new motorbike enthusiast mates round, usually late at night on weekends, obviously when our DD is asleep and sometimes when we're already in bed too. So that's fun.

Then on the corner opposite us are some terrible pet owners who leave their tiny, untrained, evil (tries to chase and barks at anyone who comes near their front garden, to the point where I have to cross the road just to walk down that way) dog outside at night. Because it's a corner plot, their garden is outward facing so this little barking machine just yips away - last night for over 2 hours TOTALLY NONSTOP until they finally let it in.

Across the street diagonally is a single Mum with two 10-12 year old sons who run around in the street playing football and making all sorts of noise (what happened to kids playing in their own garden?!) and I actually found them on our front walk one day with their bikes, shouting across the street to a mate. Wtf?! GO HOME. Their mum seems totally disinterested and only occasionally shouts and swears out the door at them before going back inside. They also don't move out of the way of cars in the street... DH has nearly knocked them down on several occasions and honestly I wouldn't blame him if he did.

So. Sick. Of. All. Of. These. People.

Sorry for the long rant. And if I seem like a monster. It has been hell living on this street, and I am so excited to move (we didn't know the area when we moved here for DH's job).

OP posts:
Katedotness1963 · 29/08/2017 16:32

He tucks his shirt into his pants? The monster!!

Lucisky · 29/08/2017 16:33

Well my brother is a scruffy so and so, and he has mental health problems. He also has skin cancer and has lesions on his face. I would be really upset if a someone spoke about him the way you speak about your elderly neighbour.

DistanceCall · 29/08/2017 16:35

There is a difference between what one thinks, what one says, and what one does. And then there is a difference between what one thinks in a second of anger and exhaustion and one's more rational, considered thoughts.

The OP lives surrounded by what sound like hellish neighbours. She has bad thoughts occasionally. We can't all be angels of compassion, beaming radiant positive thoughts wherever we go.

And some of us wouldn't wish to be.

FrancisCrawford · 29/08/2017 16:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EdmundCleverClogs · 29/08/2017 16:39

DistanceCall, a fleeting thought is one thing. Airing it on a public forum, when added to the fact this bloke hardly seems to have done much wrong, crosses the line completely. You are minimising the nastiness of the opening post, there's no excusing it.

As others say, if the op is having issues with so many neighbours, the problem is probably her. She certainly reads as a problem person with views like that.

JacquesHammer · 29/08/2017 16:40

There is a difference between what one thinks, what one says, and what one does. And then there is a difference between what one thinks in a second of anger and exhaustion and one's more rational, considered thoughts

And indeed someone who posts such thoughts on MN because they think they're terribly amusing

I've had the odd horror neighbour in my time. I've wished they'd move away. I've wished they never moved in. I've never wished them harm.

MabelFurball · 29/08/2017 16:44

Trouble is, you will one day be the noisy neighbour, when your kid is in the garden screaming its lungs out. Circumstances will change and what goes around comes around.

JessicaEccles · 29/08/2017 16:48

Trouble is- this time you are buying a house. Just hope there are no dodgy neighbours in the next place- it will be much harder to move...

Radicalrooster · 29/08/2017 16:49

Don't worry OP, I'm your side

Constantly barking dog? Fuck that. Heavy metal band practice for hours at a time? Fuck that. Motorbikes revving their tits off late at night? Bollocks to that. And neighbours kids standing on your driveway shouting at each other? Piss off, you little scrotes.

Hope you have peace and quiet wherever you move to next. As for the rest of you, here's hoping a bunch of deafeningly loud heavy metal enthusiasts on motorbikes accompanied a pack of barking dogs and with some feral sprogs in tow move in next door to you. See how you like it.

Fuck 'em all, OP.

KeiraKnightleyActsWithHerTeeth · 29/08/2017 16:50

You are ghastly.

Jaxhog · 29/08/2017 16:53

Hope you're moving to a better area with better neighbours! I would drive/walk around your new place though, just to be sure.

Just because you don't like your neighbours, doesn't make you a bad person. Over sensitive maybe. But it does sound pretty horrendous, as you've described it.

Jux · 29/08/2017 16:55

Could you ntact social services, csare of vulnerable adults about the ld man. He sounds like he is in dire need of professional intervention.

We had an old man in our town who stank to high heaven, clearly doubly incontinent, never wshed himself or his clothes, hnestly you had to hold your breath within 6 feet of him outside with the wind blowing.

He once struck up a conversation with me in a queue and he had a very cultured accent, was clearly intelligent and humorous - a nice man.

Once SS got to him he changed overnight!

So please, just do that one thing before you move.

Fuckit2017 · 29/08/2017 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pp2017 · 29/08/2017 17:00

Across the street are two young guys who share a 2 bed house, they're probably early 20s, and they've recently taken up an interest in motorbikes. As well as leaving them running idle in the driveway for 10+ minutes while they go BACK inside to get dressed

Yeah, that's kinda what you do with engines (motorbikes and cars!), you let them warm up and the oil get round the moving parts before you drive off...... it kind of you know, stops them grinding themselves apart 🙄

Also, bike gear is bloomin hot, it's not fun trying to manoeuvre a motorbike down your drive while wearing the clothing specifically designed to keep you safe in an accident..... it's easier to go put it on WHILE YOUR ENGINE IS WARMING UP....

FantasticButtocks · 29/08/2017 17:02

YANBU at all, I'm quite surprised at so many people on here thinking you are such a terrible person. Shock

Perhaps many of them are the type who are absolutely fine with inflicting their noisy, neglected dogs, their loud inconsiderate children, their revving motorbikes etc on other people. There are plenty of noisy selfish fuckwits about, and many of them possibly enjoy a bit of aggressive gang mentality and being unpleasant to people on the Internet too, it would seem to fit.

Thank goodness you're moving! The noise from the barking dog, and the heavy metal band would drive me nuts. Also the next door man trying to touch your dd's face and hands...😱 does sound really unpleasant.

Hope you get lucky in your new neighbourhood.

Miserylovescompany2 · 29/08/2017 17:07

Don't you just sound delightful - I bet your current neighbours will be having themselves a celebratory party once you've gone...

They are probably digging out the bunting as I type Grin

EdmundCleverClogs · 29/08/2017 17:07

As for the rest of you, here's hoping a bunch of deafeningly loud heavy metal enthusiasts on motorbikes accompanied a pack of barking dogs and with some feral sprogs in tow move in next door to you. See how you like it.

Pretty much my neighbourhood. Can just about deal with outside noises, kids will be kids and sometimes you just have to bare it. People are allowed to do things such as smoke or warm up their motorbikes.

However I also have to deal with next door's 15 year old using our back garden to get to his own (never asking), leading to a broken fence and their dog also using our garden for its convenience. I have my neighbour playing Ed Sheeran all day, every day, the same three songs over and over. I have my whole family woken every Friday night/Saturday morning by their deafening music and arguments. I'm still not so broken or enough of a miserable cunt yet to wish they'd all come to serious harm.

LucieLucie · 29/08/2017 17:09

Yanbu. (Apart from wishing the oap falls down stairs Confused)

People can be fucking horrible, thoughtless and anti social.

I hope your new home is surrounded by people with a better mentality.

Ps if I had the slightest opportunity to buy a house on acres of land away from others I would grab it with both hands Grin

intergalacticbrexitdisco · 29/08/2017 17:14

A SINGLE MOTHER, you say? Who let this fallen wench out of the Laundries, I'd like to know?

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 29/08/2017 17:17

YANBU at all, I'm quite surprised at so many people on here thinking you are such a terrible person

Well saying things like this below makes them a lovely person hey. Actually wishing an elderly gentleman falls down the stairs. You think that's Ok?

He also has this habit of crashing about late at night and making a huge amount of noise --which DH and I hope is him falling down the stairs finally.

JacquesHammer · 29/08/2017 17:39

Perhaps many of them are the type who are absolutely fine with inflicting their noisy, neglected dogs, their loud inconsiderate children, their revving motorbikes etc on other people

None of the above thanks and I still think the OP is unreasonable, NOT to be bothered by the noise but to be so unkind in the way she discusses/thinks of an elderly man.

And a single mother?! Whatever next. But then I am one of those. Maybe I shold start wearing a scarlet letter

augustusglupe · 29/08/2017 17:50

OP re the kids playing in the street... it's school hols!! They will, especially 2 boys, we've had street footy too, although never normally.
I'm afraid that's having neighbours, nice area or not.
Try and just step back a bit from it all. They're only playing. Maybe DH should drive a bit slower, then he won't nearly run them over Confused

notgivingin789 · 29/08/2017 17:52

You sound so judgemental !!!!

DontTouchTheMoustache · 29/08/2017 18:03

It really is a very unpleasant thread. Op the children in my close all play out together on our street and when I get home I let me dog out and chat to the children for a while and let them play with my dog. It's called being pleasent. Perhaps if you tried changing your attitude and how you react to your neighbours and made a bit more effort, you might not wind yourself up so much.

Radicalrooster · 29/08/2017 18:10

Yeah, that's kinda what you do with engines (motorbikes and cars!), you let them warm up and the oil get round the moving parts before you drive off...... it kind of you know, stops them grinding themselves apart

Rubbish. Takes about 90 seconds for a motorbike engine to get up to temperature, and they are far more highly stressed than car engines.

I'd never leave my bike idling - it's incredibly antisocial.

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