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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate my neighbours?

112 replies

PumpkinSpiceEverything · 29/08/2017 14:25

Thankfully we're moving into a house we're buying in a month or so, but we've been renting our current house for the past year. I cannot - repeat CANNOT - wait to get away from our current neighbours. I'm going to sound like a horrible person but I don't care.

The attached neighbour to the left of us is an old man who smokes cigarillos day and night and any time we're in the garden it's all you can smell. He's always covered in some kind of skin lesions and tucks his shirt into his pants and insists on having a conversation when we try to get in our car, obviously on our way somewhere. But he's not pleasant to have conversations with - it will always go something like "Hello, how are you" (Me) we're fine thanks, yourself? "Horrible" (and then he proceeds to talk about whatever is making him miserable, usually something gross and medical) And he's DIRTY (looks like he hardly bathes) and constantly tries to touch our DD's hands or face when he FOLLOWS us to our car to try to start one of these hideously unpleasant conversations. He also has this habit of crashing about late at night and making a huge amount of noise --which DH and I hope is him falling down the stairs finally.

Behind us is a neighbour with a 19 year old son who has a heavy metal rock band that will insist on practicing for 4+ hours at a time. We tried to ask them to stop several times, especially when out in our own garden with guests over and it's a deafening racket. They were mouthy and rude so we filed multiple noise complaints after recording how loud it was from inside our house with doors and windows closed (You'd be driven mad too if your less-than-1-Year-old couldn't nap for 3+ days in a row) and now, luckily, they've chosen to take their "band practice" elsewhere.

Across the street are two young guys who share a 2 bed house, they're probably early 20s, and they've recently taken up an interest in motorbikes. As well as leaving them running idle in the driveway for 10+ minutes while they go BACK inside to get dressed, they've taken to inviting lots of their new motorbike enthusiast mates round, usually late at night on weekends, obviously when our DD is asleep and sometimes when we're already in bed too. So that's fun.

Then on the corner opposite us are some terrible pet owners who leave their tiny, untrained, evil (tries to chase and barks at anyone who comes near their front garden, to the point where I have to cross the road just to walk down that way) dog outside at night. Because it's a corner plot, their garden is outward facing so this little barking machine just yips away - last night for over 2 hours TOTALLY NONSTOP until they finally let it in.

Across the street diagonally is a single Mum with two 10-12 year old sons who run around in the street playing football and making all sorts of noise (what happened to kids playing in their own garden?!) and I actually found them on our front walk one day with their bikes, shouting across the street to a mate. Wtf?! GO HOME. Their mum seems totally disinterested and only occasionally shouts and swears out the door at them before going back inside. They also don't move out of the way of cars in the street... DH has nearly knocked them down on several occasions and honestly I wouldn't blame him if he did.

So. Sick. Of. All. Of. These. People.

Sorry for the long rant. And if I seem like a monster. It has been hell living on this street, and I am so excited to move (we didn't know the area when we moved here for DH's job).

OP posts:
PortiaCastis · 29/08/2017 15:55

Remember OP YOU WILL ALSO GET OLD and someone may ignore you when you most need help.
Karma !!

JessicaEccles · 29/08/2017 15:55

HUh. My neighbours played a FOUR HOUR version of the Spice Girl's Wannabe the other night- changing the lyrics to 'If you wanna be my lover/Jesus is your friend'!

specialsubject · 29/08/2017 15:56

let's hope all the shriekers of abuse here will never complain if they live near to a yapping dog, a talentless rock band and waste-of-air petrol heads.

all three at once would have me asking for the area to be bombed.

DistanceCall · 29/08/2017 15:58

If one person has a problem with you, it's probably them
If you have a problem with lots of people, it's probably you.

Yeah, that's what the girls who bullied me in school to the point that I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown said.

Bollocks to that. Many people can be wrong. Many people can be disgusting and rude and uncivil. And no, wanting other people to behave with some consideration towards others is not snobbishness.

I think the way you're feeling is completely understandable, OP.

DistanceCall · 29/08/2017 15:59

And that poor old fellow with the health problems, why are you so awful about him? He's obviously lonely, would it kill you to have a little compassion?

Would it kill him to WASH HIMSELF?

Mittens1969 · 29/08/2017 15:59

I do sympathise about the dog barking, that does annoy me if it goes on incessantly but not to the extent of turning me into a hateful person who wishes ill on my neighbours.

Mittens1969 · 29/08/2017 16:00

As has been said, he very likely has MH problems. My DB smells like that; it's hard to be around but he can't help it.

DistanceCall · 29/08/2017 16:03

I have no idea if the unwashed man has MH problems, and neither does anyone on this thread. But even if this was the case, the OP is polite to him, and is under no obligation to like him or feel warmly towards him. And it's normal to feel repelled by sores and filth.

SprinkleOfInsanity · 29/08/2017 16:05

You need to live in a house in the middle of nowhere, that would benefit everyone. You sound delightful Hmm

BarbarianMum · 29/08/2017 16:08

Yes. Yes you do sound like a total bitch.

JacquesHammer · 29/08/2017 16:09

a talentless rock band

Who says talentless? We lived next door to a band who practiced constantly. We loved listening.

Even more so now they're signed Grin

JacquesHammer · 29/08/2017 16:10

@DistanceCall hearing an elderly person crashing about and hoping they're falling down the stairs isn't a normal response. It's disturbing

lookingbeyond40 · 29/08/2017 16:10

I can't believe you are so horrible out your neighbour. Have you ever thought this man is lonely? He's struggling with living by himself and just wants to have a chat?

To wish him falling down the stairs is utterly appalling and I hope for HIS sake, his new neighbour is kinder, more thoughtful and has more humanity than you.

Take a good look at yourself, rather than judging others.

EdmundCleverClogs · 29/08/2017 16:11

DistanceCall thinking someone should wash and hoping they fall down stairs are a million miles apart on acceptable thoughts. Or do you think that's normal as well?

DistanceCall · 29/08/2017 16:12

Because people don't have cruel thoughts, EVER. I'm sure the OP didn't really wish that the old man would die. I can understand her being so pissed off that she has murderous thoughts, though.

DistanceCall · 29/08/2017 16:13

thinking someone should wash and hoping they fall down stairs are a million miles apart on acceptable thoughts. Or do you think that's normal as well?

Yes, thinking that is perfectly normal, given the circumstances. That doesn't mean that the OP wouldn't have been horrified and probably quite guilty if anything had actually happened to the man.

JessicaEccles · 29/08/2017 16:15

thinking that is perfectly normal,

You know, that old man was also once someone's much loved baby. One day, someone might be speaking about your little one like that.

maddiemookins16mum · 29/08/2017 16:17

You kind of lost my sympathy with your wish that the elderly/poorly chap next door (who I'm guessing lives alone) would fall downstairs and badly hurt himself (or worse).

EdmundCleverClogs · 29/08/2017 16:17

Yes, thinking that is perfectly normal, given the circumstances.

Then you're just as sick as the OP. I can't read one possible reason why she'd wish physical harm in him over the fact he's ill and has poor personal hygiene.

As I said before, how would you feel if this was your father or grandfather someone was talking about.

TheWartyOne · 29/08/2017 16:20

He also has this habit of crashing about late at night and making a huge amount of noise --which DH and I hope is him falling down the stairs finally

What a really fucking nasty thing to say. What if someone said that about your Grandfather?

fourquenelles · 29/08/2017 16:21

Sit at my knee and let me tell you a story.....

A wise woman was leaning on a gate when a couple approached. They said that they were moving to the area and asked what the people in the new town were like. The wise woman asked them what the people were like where they lived now. Lovely, replied the couple. Friendly, helpful, kind. That's just what they are like here replied the wise woman.

The next day the wise woman was approached by a second couple who asked the same question. When asked what the people were like where they lived now they replied that they were horrible, noisy, unfriendly. They are the same here replied the wise woman.

happypoobum · 29/08/2017 16:23

I would imagine there will be some kind of street party when OP moves away.

You really do come across as a nasty piece of work.

SilverySurfer · 29/08/2017 16:23

Well aren't you lovely, hoping an old man falls down the stairs. Unless you are going to live in the middle of a field, noise can be a problem anywhere. Don't bother posting after you've moved complaining about noisy neighbours, I doubt you will get much sympathy.

Oh and if you don't like living here, the door is that way ----->

Branleuse · 29/08/2017 16:27

Well I laughed!
You sound exhausted OP. Hope your new neighbours arent so annoying

TakeAnadin · 29/08/2017 16:30

I can understand where you are coming from actually. Sounds pretty bad.Is it Woodhatch in Surrey? lol

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