To want to tell my sibling our mother smacked her kids?

[Roisin79]

I was babysitting my 2 nephews with my mother and there were 2 incidents. One where she smacked the older one's bum as he was being a bit naughty whilst on the loo. He peed a bit on the floor and she said "He ALWAYS does that!" which upset him and he responded "No I don't!", then cried.
The second time the younger nephew was reading a book and she thought he would rip the page and she smacked him on the hand and said "DON'T!" (he wasn't ripping it at all just trying to turn page). I felt awful for both of them. They are both under 5. I told my mother that she shouldn't have done it and after a while she agreed and thanked me for being made aware of it (unbelievable I know, must be a generational thing). But now I do not know whether to rock the boat and tell my sibling. Do I stay quiet but if she does it again, then say something?? Help!

I think you should tell her. I'd want to know. Such stupid reasons for a smack.

No judgement here, but you need to tell her OP. I was hit often growing up by my own dad, and it really affected me. If I ever found out he laid a finger on my DC there would be NC straight away. I don't agree with smacking my DC, and would not take kindly to someone taking it upon themselves to punish my DC in that form.
I know she's your DM, but just imagine that she could be hitting them every time she sees them. That wouldn't sit right me with personally, and I'd have to speak out.
What were the incidents with your DS and BIL roisin?

I have smacked my kids hands on th odd occasions so am no saint, however I wouldn't like my mother to do it so DP, tell your sister what's going on.

I would speak to your mum again and say I'm going to have to tell my sister. I'm not causing trouble but she has a right to know for various reasons. She can discuss appropriate techniques of discipline, she may want to check her kids are ok and not nervous about staying with granny and it may explain other behaviour the children are displaying. If it happened to DS you'd have to peel me off the bloody ceiling

Ask your mother to tell her. If she won't, THEN tell her.I would be gutted if a trusted family slapped my kids, no matter what age.

You're not being unreasonable in wanting to tell your sister and if it were me I definitely would. I know it's not an easy conversation to have with her but I'm sure she'd rather know, that way she can respond how she sees fit and make an informed decision as to whether to allow unsupervised contact with your DM. Also makes me wonder given the seemingly low threshold for the smacks you've seen how many has she given out for other reasons, despite knowing your sister doesn't want them to be disciplined in that way. It's damaging to the GC and deeply disrespectful to her daughter as a mother.

Where is this granny? I've never come across a busy commuter line where the announcements take the form of

If you're traveling to A travel in the first three carriages
If you're traveling to Be travel in the first four carriages
If you're traveling to C travel in the first six carriages

Forrge numbers of stops on the route. The occasional small or infrequently served station, yes.

Also as I said up thread, another significant issue is the train fouling the points at a station, by overhanging the platform.

Ignore the above, wrong thread!

The decision to go NC is your sisters, just because you are reporting true facts does not mean you are deciding for her or acting in any way to bring about the NC. That is entirely your DMs doing as she has already been warned as a warning isn't sufficient here.

She is doing this in front of you that means aw isnon her best behaviour as she has a witness. When you are not there it will be worse. Smacking in front of a group of people shows she is completely comfortable with it and feels everyone is fine with it.

Deal with that first, if your sister is ill you can get support and help from social services if needed after that. They aren't all about taking children off you or ignoring you, there is a lot of inbetween levels of support

I am not vehemently anti-smacking, but if done it should be reserved for the exceptionally rare occasion when children are extremely naughty and really push the boundaries.

It sounds as if your mum has smacked out of mild concern and frustration - ie, to soothe and respond to her own feelings and not out of any disciplinary need whatsoever. I do think she needs to reflect seriously on why she is lashing out and whether she really has the ability to look after these children.

I think your mum might be frustrated that she is doing too much of the childcare here. No excuses but really the parents should be taking more responsibility, where's dad?? And booking kids clubs, after school care or professional settings.

Grandmothers are not the go to for everyone's child care