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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being ungrateful?

82 replies

Fianceechickie · 27/08/2017 08:51

Back in May, my MIL mentioned that her sister had a villa in Spain and they might go. We haven't much money this year so asked if she'd mind if we used it as well (another week obviously) and how much she'd charge. She said yes and would just charge us a bit for electricity and the cleaner etc. Fantastic! Got our flights booked. She sent us a couple of pics, looked okay, MIL said was nice and, given she usually has pretty high standards, we thought it sounded fine! Two days before we travelled though, DH's auntie contacted us to say she was charging €200 for villa. A bit more than electric costs we thought but still cheap for a week on the Costa Blanca in August. We also found out from MIL who had just stayed here that there was no air con and we started to worry a bit! Anyway, arrived on Tuesday night to find that, not only was there no air con but ceiling fans barely work, it was in an awful cramped, built up area, the bathroom stank, all the dirty washing was piled up from MIL's stay, couple of dead cockroaches, furniture on its last legs, beds awful, hubbie has bed bug bites (it's also terrible for midges around here). It's even smaller than we thought and the fridge won't stay cold as the seal has gone ages ago and it's not been defrosted in forever, tv doesn't work (not that we'd use it much anyway). It's obviously not serviced (I think she may have an agreement with an ex pay up the road cos he did let us in when we arrived but not seen him since. We have to give him the €200. ) The only saving grace is that it has its own pool which seems fine! We're making the best of it but DH suffering in the heat especially and isn't well with it, the kids are stoical but I can't help feeling annoyed that it was made out to be nice and in fact it's not at all and we've brought the children here! We would never have come had we known. She couldn't rent it out to fee paying holidaymakers. Thank god we have a car so can get to beach (which is 20 mins away!)

OP posts:
Fianceechickie · 27/08/2017 11:31

I know thumbs. You are so right. Should never have tried to get a cheap deal off family. Not worth it. I suspect this €200 is what she's bunging the ex pat up the road to keep an eye on the place. Not a weeks worth of keeping an eye though. She probably owes it him. There's been a pool person in once to put chemicals in pool but no evidence of a cleaner/towel sheet washer. The ex pat guy had only just returned to Spain when we arrived so I reckon he does it but hadn't for us cos he'd been away.

OP posts:
grandOlejukeofYork · 27/08/2017 11:35

It's not their fault that you didn't bother to check where it actually was before you asked for it (for nothing, which was pretty damn cheeky of you in the first place!) and its not their fault it's bloody hot in Spain in August.
Did you ask about air-con? Did you ask anything at all? You're actually expecting someone to come in and clean for you when you've paid almost nothing?

GretaBritain · 27/08/2017 11:36

@Alittlepotofrosie Would you stay in the villa as described for £200 and be satisfied/believe this to be good value?

It may be 'cheap' but the auntie didn't even mention the charge until close to the holiday...it's not the coat of some utilities for a week is it?! Then the flights cost on top of that.

You have my sympathies OP. I'd be gutted too. I wouldn't buy the fans unless totally desperate. Get through the week with gritted teeth and bitter lesson learned.

Ugh...it sounds a mess!

GretaBritain · 27/08/2017 11:37

Cost not coat sorry

metalmum15 · 27/08/2017 11:38

fiancee you might want to read up on them and check it's definitely not bedbugs. (Then again, you might not. ...) They hide in mattress crevices, wooden bed slats, behind skirting boards etc. Vile things.

metalmum15 · 27/08/2017 11:38

Bed bug bites can look very much like mosquito bites though 😁

metalmum15 · 27/08/2017 11:38

Bed bug bites can look very much like mosquito bites though 😁

Roussette · 27/08/2017 11:40

Why on earth didn't your MIL contact you whilst she was away saying.. look there's a bit of a problem with this place. You say she has fairly high standards but obviously not!

On the cupboard. Go and buy some hairgrips. Pick the lock. Seriously

Alittlepotofrosie · 27/08/2017 11:44

@GretaBritain

I would have asked more questions about the apartment, (first up: is there air conditioning) not just assume i was going to get great accomodation for a week for free (and then £200) I would be disappointed if the place was dirty but id get on with cleaning it up and be grateful i had cheap accomodation that is pretty close to the beach. And next time be more careful about what i was agreeing to. £200 for a week should have rung alarm bells.

GoldTippedFeather · 27/08/2017 11:49

GrandOle - do you ever have anything nice to say to anyone ever?! Whenever I see you on threads you just come on to have a go at the OP. Have some fucking empathy once in a while.

OP - that sounds thoroughly miserable and I think if I were you I would just come home early if possible. I think it stopped being a favour when they charged you €200. And for those saying it would cost you €1,000, that would be for a villa that someone actually wanted to stay in. This does not sound like one of those. The relative obviously does not care enough to get even the beds changed for you! Horrible way to treat family. It's not like they have lost any tourist revenue by you staying there.

Valuedopinion · 27/08/2017 11:52

It's a relative so why an earth would £200 have rung alarm bells? It's not an open market price.

MiraiDevant · 27/08/2017 11:55

Sympathies OP - and no you are not ungrateful.

OP has invested her week off, money for flights and £200 for a miserable time. If she'd known she would have said no. Those of you saying what did she expect? Really? Have you never been invited somewhere or offered something? You don't expect it to be awful.

And I offer my house, help to people out, (I live in a tourist destination) - I don't make it so that they are worse off if they accept - most people don't when they offer favours.

meltingmarshmallows · 27/08/2017 11:56

Agree about bed bugs, someone I know rented their flat out to a family who bought them back from abroad. The house had to be fumigated regularly over the course of 12 months, all furniture got rid of. It sounded like a living nightmare! So be very careful & read up to check

Cupoteap · 27/08/2017 11:56

I'd have assumed a relative was doing a nice thing too, you need to speak to milwhen you get back it's really it fair she didn't warn you.

grandOlejukeofYork · 27/08/2017 12:00

Empathy? For someone who tried to blag a free holiday and got a surprise that it wasn't five star standard? No, I'll keep my empathy for people who deserve it thanks.
The relative never offered the use of their villa, remember? OP asked for it. If the relative posted from the other side you'd all be putting OP firmly into cheeky fucker camp. Hmm

rollonthesummer · 27/08/2017 12:02

Bed bugs-seriously?! Be very careful coming home!

Jaxhog · 27/08/2017 12:02

Go and buy a portable fan for the bedroom. Get some insect repellent. Wash and disinfect the bedclothes. Pay just £100 to compensate for the mess you had to clean up after MiL and for the fan. She can find the other £100.

FrancisCrawford · 27/08/2017 12:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoldTippedFeather · 27/08/2017 12:07

Hmm.... AIBU for letting my relative stay in my flea infested cesspit for €200 with her children. After all, she did ask?

Nope would still have the same feelings about the matter.

If it was a nice villa and the relative was losing money from other rentals and the OP was moaning about the lack of air con, then yes OP would be a cheeky fucker.

diamond49 · 27/08/2017 12:08

Hang on! So the owner is your mils sister, not even a relative of yours? You ask this person to let a family of 5 stay in her holiday flat with a pool in a popular resort in peak season for free? You then complaim when she charges for utilities, you expected her to have it clean ed and the linen washed for you, and oh that Spain is hot in August.

Beadieeye · 27/08/2017 12:09

It sounds miserable. Given the state of the place, I'd be afraid of accusations of damaging the property aswell.
I'd have a good half day scrubbing it, then make the best of it. Just use it as a place to get your head down for the night, spend full days at the beach resort and the rest of the time around the pool. Hope you salvage a good holiday from it

Maelstrop · 27/08/2017 12:09

If you end up buying fans, keep the receipts and deduct that amount from the 200 euros

Go and buy a portable fan for the bedroom. Get some insect repellent. Wash and disinfect the bedclothes. Pay just £100 to compensate for the mess you had to clean up after MiL and for the fan.

Yes, yes, to both of these.

OrangeButton · 27/08/2017 12:10

Never mind the £200 - you couldn't pay me to stay in a place infested with bedbugs!

glitterlips1 · 27/08/2017 12:18

It sounds hell but you're staying somewhere for £200! Alarm bells would be ringing for me at that price. Air con is expensive to run so they probably haven't put it on because it will cost them money.

budgiegirl · 27/08/2017 12:21

I don't think you can complain that it's hot, it's Spain in August, and many villas/apartments don't have air conditioning. Also you can't complain it's a busy/built up area - surely you knew this before you went? It's also perfectly ok for a villa owner to have personal things (beach umbrellas, cool bags etc) locked away for their own use.

But I would be very disappointed that it wasn't clean, that the fridge and tv don't work etc. If furniture is a bit tired, well, that's just the nature of a holiday home sometimes I guess, it would be different if she rented it out to fee paying customers, but she doesn't.

It's a tricky one. €200 is nothing for a week in a villa in August, it probably does just cover electricity, cleaning, bedding, pool maintenance etc. I don't think you can really complain, but possibly you could mention that it wasn't clean - not a complaint, but more as a way of letting her know that if she thinks she's got a cleaner, they're not doing their job.

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