To not want the dog to come!

[sausagesaremyfave]

My in laws are lovely, they really are completely normal and understanding about everything other than when it comes to their dog. The dog IMO is a bloody nightmare, it's uncontrollable and wild- I don't like it! They don't even try to discipline the dog they encourage the jumping and laugh.

The dog tried to bite a child's face at the pub when she was tied to the bench we were all sat on, it was awful- the look of horror on the little girls face still haunts me and it was way too close. If she wasn't restricted by the lead she would have bit her and hard. Plus she's a big do so would have done some serious damage.
But oh no that was a one off and MIL has taken her to a private dog specialist she paid a fortune to see who after taking tons of money then declared their dog 'safe' around children.
Fast forward to now, we have a 10 month old and I refuse to let her anywhere near the dog, this is an issue that is mentioned weekly and the conversations are getting more heated now as we keep saying no, we are seeing them tomorrow at a dog friendly place full of children and I can guarantee they will turn up with the dog.
AIBU to go back to the car and go home if they are there with the dog. tomorrow? The dog is not safe on a lead for anyone there. MIL thinks we are way over the top! Help, please!

Change the meeting place to somewhere dog UNfriendly.

We had a similar issue with a relative who declared their dog safe and I did not, I was made to feel I was making an issue over it, but as a dog owner myself and some 'interest' in dog psychology I could see it was a disaster waiting to happen.

I managed lots of stressful family events with eyes in the back of my head until sadly the dog was PTS for health reasons.

My dog is pretty good around children but excitable, i keep him away from children at its not fair on either party.

We've managed so far to always meet up in not dog friendly places but we're getting a bit restricted now and we are fed up with having to go to places like that when we would be able to go to much nicer places that sadly are dog friendly.
I know I'm being demanding but I think if we're inviting them, they shouldn't have a say in the dog coming, they can just decline our invite.
I'm dreading tomorrow now!

Just keep your dc away from them and the dog while out. Make it obvious you are putting your dc's safety first. . Has your dh not spoken to them about why they are prioritising a dog over their gc?

No YANBU at all, and tbh you're MIL is doing her grandchild and her dog an injustice.

Should something serious happen, she will not only be living with the fact her grandchild could potentially be scarred/traumatised. She will lose her dog too, as it will have to PTS.

Of course, people can get very attached to their pets, but she needs to realise that this is an occasion where the dog cannot come.

I would change to a dog unfriendly environment, or not go at all.

*your MIL

You could always insist that the dog is four people from your dc at all times on short leash.

www.doggiesolutions.co.uk/baskerville-ultra-muzzle-16682-0.html

Compromise with a basket muzzle?

Not restrictive for the dog - they can pant and drink.

You need to stand your ground on this issue. It horrifies me to think of the injuries your baby could suffer from this out of control dog. If your In-laws are pissed, TOO FUCKING BAD. Your child's safety comes first and rolling the dice or trusting that dog could be one of the biggest mistakes you ever make. Sadly, some dog owners are completely blinded by their love for their animal and refuse to acknowledge the dangers. I love dogs and have a dog, but there are many that should never be around children.

You need to make it clear in advance that the dog isn't welcome.

It's tricky if you're meeting on neutral ground where they can bring the dog. Try to ensure you only meet up where they can't bring the bloody thing. Obviously if they're coming to yours, that's an immediate no. I found it surprisingly hard to find a dog friendly pub in my area, so there can't be that many unless you're very rural.

Thanks all for your comments. I'm definitely standing my ground on this one, she refuses to put a muzzle on the dog and to be honest she's so out of control we couldn't have her anywhere near us, my big worry would also be knocking over the pushchair or jumping up and hurting DD in the pram- she's a big dog.
I would be constantly worrying about other children nearby and plus she is just so fucking annoying. I love dogs- this dog I do not! The constant shouting from MIL, the snarling at other dogs/people is just embarrassing.
DH has spoken to them many times and not backed down on not wanting her anywhere near DD.
The have been told we don't want the dog there tomorrow. We've decided to go home if they do bring her! Wish me luck

@Aquamarine1029 I completely agree, Sadly I do think they are very blinded by their love for her.

Why wouldn't you muzzle a dog like that?

Definitely stand your ground, they're being totally unreasonable.

YADNBU - I just can't understand their thinking on this. You are unhappy about dog being there, with good reason. Why wouldn't they just leave it at home? Sounds like they can't relax anyway with the dog around.

Poor dog having owners who have no clue about its behaviour and can't train it themselves or take responsibility for it.
Had similar problem but with much smaller dog. Saying sorry would not be enough. I wanted to say, 'fine, if you understand that if your dog hurts YOUR GRANDCHILD, I will come after you in every legal way I can for damages' - thinking that money might override their mental block about it.
If there is even the slightest chance that that dog could hurt your child, they should not be taking that chance. There is no good reason for it other than being stubborn. You've asked nicely and they've dismissed it. It's time to take a hard line. You are not being ridiculous at all. The chance is there. They don't have the right to make the decision to chance your child's safety.

The poor dog! Clearly it doesn't want to be around children and gets anxious. Being a responsible dog owner means knowing your dog and not putting them in situations that stress them out, or educating them and working with them constantly to change behaviour. It I see a dog with a muzzle on I'd just think "What a responsible dog owner. They must know their dog well."
I have a big Staffie and she is WONDERFUL with children and never so much as growled at a human but she is a big dog so if anyone I was seeing was worried about her I would just leave her at home. It might mean I have to leave early but hay that is the price you pay for having a wonderful beast in your life!
Also I bet that what you saw in the pub wasn't a one time thing, these things rarely are.

Put
Your
Foot
Down
Now

Or they will ride roughshod over your boundaries. Trust me. Read my post

https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/2380011-They-have-brought-the-fucking-dog

@Welshmaenad thanks for the link to your thread, can't believe the cheeky bastards still tried to bring the dog!
Sorry they were such wankers at what must have been an upsetting time for you

It's not up to you where they choose to take their dog. It is entirely up to you where you choose to take your child. If you don't want them in a dog friendly environment, don't take your child there.