Defriending

[ContraryFairy]

The old FB-

How do you feel when someone de-friends you, even if you don't ever have any direct interaction with them?

I don't give a flying fig.

I'm not on FB so don't have to worry about that shit.

I don't notice.

If it does bother you, do yourself a favor and get off Facebook. It clearly doesn't do anything positive for your life. I deactivated my account 7 years ago and never looked back.

It would take me a while to notice, tbh! I don't have hundreds of friends but it doesn't bother me if someone defriends me.

I always think "shit, what did I do?!"

Nobody ever defriends me. But if they did I wouldn't give a bollocks.

if it wasn't someone I am actively friends with I probably wouldn't notice for ages and then think 'oh well'. I have defriended a lot of people recently as I decided I only wanted people that I am friends with on there. I don't want random people from my life to see everything I post on there.

Thinking about it, I am more worried if one of those 'you survived the cull' messages pops up on my feed! I wonder what has happened to cause it!

I have an app that alerts me. I'd rather know at the time than find out later when I go to message someone I thought I was still friends with... The latest was someone with a tiny baby, who took the time to de-friend me! It made me laugh to wonder whether she had nothing better to do.

TBH I don't have many friends on there (I'm not a collector!) and I've no idea when this person did it as we don't interact and only ever say a quick 'hi' in real life. I wouldn't have done it though, as our kids go to school together and I'd feel awkward (I wonder if it'll be awkward in Sept??!).

It's no loss to me- BUT I do automatically think' "What did I do?!" and as much as I'd like a clearout, I don't want it to be awkward in real life.

I feel slightly peeved if I'm honest but soon get over it! I do wonder why though.

you don't actually know them in real life, so why would it be awkward?

I do- their kids go to school with mine!

It would depend on how well I knew them, how often we interacted and how many friends they had. If under 100, they run a tight ship and only have close friends so wouldn't be offended if I was someone from toddler group or school 20 years ago. If they had over 1000 and we were real-life besties, I'd prob be more concerned.

we don't interact and only ever say a quick 'hi' in real life

You don't know them. They aren't your friend. My kids go to school with approx 2 thousand other kids between them all, I don't know their parents either.

Well, the fact you aren't really friends, seems reason enough not to be friends on FB.
Lots of people only have close friends / family - maybe they want to share photos or info. Maybe they just don't want much in their newsfeed. All sorts of reasons.
Quite frankly, I wouldn't notice if someone defriended me, unless I went to tag them in something I suppose. If they did, I wouldn't give it a moment's thought.

The only one that really hurt was a very old friend whom I suspect always had a thing for me. When he met his now-wife, he de-friended me and I only realised when I went to message him. We hadn't seen each other in a couple of years but had previously been on holiday together several times. I could take a guess at why he deleted me but it still really hurt.

I get a bit peeved if I notice, and I do wonder why. But then I regularly defriend people willy-nilly if we've had no interaction for a while, and don't really know each other anyway, so I shouldn't mind when people do it to me!

I did exactly this last summer. The long summer holidays seemed like a good time to have a good clear out of 'friends' I had accumulated who weren't actually friends, just acquaintances who never actually interacted with me on FB anyway. It wasn't because of anything they did (in most cases anyway), more that my FB friends list had become too heavy on local people that I didn't really know. Did you actually interact on FB with the friend who deleted you, OP? If not, that is likely to be why.

Tbf I don't notice until I wanna have a nose I rarely go on it now

You're all right- you've made me feel a lot better, thank you.

Some of you explained it more articulately than me- so it's nice to know others get what I mean and it's nice fir it to be put into context too.

Thanks

It's not a nice feeling finding out you've been de-friended.
I found out last October a mum from the school, her child was in my child's class and we would talk regular, had de- friended me.
I had no idea why, and when I saw her again she blanked me.
So we haven't spoke for almost a year and to this day I still don't know why she de-friended me.

I had a really good friend unfriend me in real life (I was "Wendied" by someone who was jealous of our friendship).
I deleted her from my FB as seeing their BFF updates were upsetting me.
Several months (of absolutely no contact) later my ex friend text me to say she was surprised that I'd unfriended her...

The latest was someone with a tiny baby, who took the time to de-friend me! It made me laugh to wonder whether she had nothing better to do.

Maybe she has better things to do than to see posts from people she doesn't want to see? Would definitely streamline her Facebook by curtailing people.

You can't surely be suggesting people don't have "better things to do" if they decide they don't want to see your posts anymore.