Defriending

[ContraryFairy]

The old FB-

How do you feel when someone de-friends you, even if you don't ever have any direct interaction with them?

I've defriended people when they liked something I strongly disagree with or if they have a lot of random "friends" from abroad who they don't know.

I always wonder why someone's defriended me. After I got engaged to my non white fiance I noticed a couple of people defriended me so I did wonder whether the two were connected. I rarely post on FB so perhaps the engagement announcement alerted them to the fact we were still fb friends even though they disliked me!

It could be an accident though. One of my friends left a group chat I created and I was momentarily offended until she messaged asking me to re-add her because she'd left the group by mistake.

I'm only really interested in seeing posts from people I'm actually properly friends with. I've only defriended one or two people. They were perfectly pleasant people who I did like, but they posted prolifically and I didn't know them that well.. As a result, my newsfeed was consistently full of random people I'd never heard of. I suspect the "defriended" didn't realise what I'd done, but if they did, I very much hope they didn't worry about having done something to offend me.. Because they really had done nothing..

If it was me it's because we have no interaction, we may have gone to school years ago but this friendship is mean less

defriend

Oh another defriend

Repeats until I have only ones I talk to or acknowledge

I think since it is just another school mum and not a friend-friend she might just be decluttering her life. Getting rid of FB friends who aren't actual friends is one of the first steps in digital decluttering.

I wouldn't unless it was a RL actual friend.

I regularly cull the friends list because people add you as a gesture at events etc and it seems rude when they are persistent.

I don't want people I don't know seeing my kids photos or what I'm doing.

But last time I had two disgruntled messages the next day. Weird.

Ah yes, the frequent posters. I have one 'friend' ( unfortunately parent of my DS's only friend) who posts umpteen times a day, including lots of timehop photos from years gone by which I get subjected to every year and 70 photos ( not kidding) of her DS's birthday party which my DS who has ASD wasn't invited to, presumably knowing that I'd see them. Can't wait to get rid of her!
Another 'friend'/acquaintance who allowed one of her friends to post openly racist comments e.g. Referring to foreigners as scum in the run up to the referendum, and didn't delete them until a mutual friend advised her to a few days later.
Other than that, the people I have unfriended have been people I didn't interact with, not because of anything they did.

I'd be interested to. Know what the unfriendly app is,p.

I am in a dilemm as I Have s group of school mums that are only on there as our dc are friends. But not even that really . We haven't seen a si gone person in the whole holidays from school.

Another couple I thought we could be good friends once but now I haven't seen them for over a year. That partgroup of my life is over but they are the final link. But equally there is no interaction either.

All up even the above included, I have less than eighty people on fb.

I did a FB culling a while ago too. No harm intended to anyone but if you don't really talk to people I see no reason to have them on there.

If you get tired of seeing friends' posts you don't have to de-friend them, you can simply unfollow them. I've done that when a friend floods my newsfeed with things they're trying to sell, it's so annoying.

I've only de-friended a few people: one mum from the Sure Start group I was in years ago when DD1 was a toddler because of racist comments she made and recently a friend of a friend who asked if I would tag her with a couple of photos of my DDs, that freaked me out!

I always check friends lists before I accept a friend request so that isn't a reason for de-friending for me.

I have been de-friended but it's been odd rather than upsetting.

I rarely notice. I noticed once and I believe I'd pissed her off just by breathing or something and it was no great loss.
I unfriend people if I realise we never really talk/haven't seen each other since school or uni/find their posts a bit annoying or boring so Im not too bothered when people do it to me. I recently unfriended about 30 people just because they're really not my friends. I don't dislike them but I don't know them anymore and I don't want to share things with strangers.

How do you know if you've been unfriended?

I had a cull a couple of years ago. My test was "if I saw this person by chance when I was out shopping, would I stop to say hi?"?

If not, I defriended them.

Wouldn't notice, and wouldn't care even if I did notice.

I unfriend people all the time. Extra brutal because I normally do it when their birthday notification pops up, which reminds me of their existence and I realise that we haven't spoken or seen each other in x number of years.

You know, it would help of Facebook had a 'people who are barely acquaintances' category, people who then couldn't see who else you were friends with, didn't see any of your posts unless they are pretty much public. It would save a whole lot of grief.....

The person may have deactivated their account. I do this sometimes when i get fed up of it all.

I regularly delete people, only have maybe 75 odd friends and it's mainly family (there is a lot of family!) I delete people I don't see regularly even if they haven't done anything because I want to protect my kids pictures, don't take it personally!

It bothers me a little, but not enough to confront the person about.

Mikeysister most people don't notice for a while. Unless you have an app which notifies you when someone unfriends you ( why?) , you would probably only notice when either a) you try to contact that person and see that they're no longer on your friends list or b) if they are a prolific poster you might realise that you haven't seen anything they have posted for while.

I couldn't care less - probably wouldn't even notice! I only care about the people I value IRL and would be very upset if any of them did. I'd end up overthinking it for years, wondering what I'd done etc etc. Joys of social anxiety

I deleted FB a few months ago and haven't missed it once. Id recommend deleting it go everyone!

I usually hide people rather than defriend them (it feels kinder). Someone I considered a good friend deleted me and my OH recently - we'd not seen them for a while (as we'd had a very shitty, stressful year - which they knew about). My OH met up with them and all was normal, asked about fb and they said they were having a clear out. After the meet up they sent him a fb friend request, but I've not heard from them since. I was very hurt, but just felt that they're no longer interested in me so I might as well move on.

Thing is, without social media we'd probably drift away from friendships much more, so fb etc is just keeping things going artificially. I'm quite nosy so enjoy seeing what others are up to, but not everyone can be bothered!

I'd probably assume I'd done it tbh. To keep it under control, when I get a birthday notification I unfriendly them if I'm not bothered about wishing them a happy birthday!

Thank you

I probably wouldn't notice. If I haven't spoken to someone for a while and it's unlikely I will be seeing them again then I always defriend them, I only want actual friends & family on my Facebook. I don't delete people to be mean, just to protect my privacy.