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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she should send the phone down?

37 replies

MsMarvel · 26/08/2017 19:32

Last month dsd got her first mobile phone. She has started playing out with kids in the neighbourhood, so it seemed time that she should be able to contact someone if needed.

Her mum spoke to dp about it, and they agreed to go half in for it, the handset cost £50 and it's £10 a month (I think).

Now two weekends in a row, she's not sent the phone down to us. So currently, dsd is playing out, and dp is standing by the window watching them.

AIBU to think that if dp is paying for half the phone, we should be able to benefit from her having it as well?

OP posts:
PeaFaceMcgee · 26/08/2017 19:46

Erm, no, the child should have the phone on her... But the costs seem extraordinary for a child who sounds very young?!

Original poster
MsMarvel · 26/08/2017 20:47

But that's the point, she doesn't have the phone on her. So she arrives at ours on a Friday without a phone. Because her mum has not given it to her.

OP posts:
Mrscropley · 26/08/2017 20:50

Yet if nobody could reach dsd the exw be going nuts??

kissmethere · 26/08/2017 20:50

What's her mums problem? People can be so petty and ridiculous.

cheesypastatonight · 26/08/2017 20:51

Surely if she is old enough to play out she is old enough to play out without a phone? You don't need a phone to play out?!

Bizzysocks · 26/08/2017 20:56

I agree she should be allowed to being her phone.

However , if she is old enough for a phone and can see the house from where she is , she wouldn't need her phone to contact you and your DH doesn't need to watch from the window.

dertyyuoih2 · 26/08/2017 20:56

Yeh she's being totally unreasonable , I'd appreciate if DsD had come straight from school to yours but she hasn't. So no need not to forget it. Your DH doesn't have to watch her every move though? As kids play out without phones?

dertyyuoih2 · 26/08/2017 20:57

We actually had the rule that DSS would play out when younger without his, he had a watch to tell
The time to come in. It minimised the risk of being smashed / lost of stolen. (scooters / bikes most likely dropped and run over!) he was just fine!

mumeeee · 26/08/2017 21:05

She doesn't need a phone on her when she's playing out. If she needs watching then she is to young for a phone and too young to be playing out.

Original poster
MsMarvel · 26/08/2017 21:15

It's more for getting back in. We live in a flat and dsd doesn't have keys. We've offered that she takes a set down with her but she doesn't have pockets so has nowhere to put them. also a very high chance they will get lost

Tbh I'm dubious how long the phone is going to last before getting broken and/or lost , but I'll leave that to dp and her mum to deal with.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 26/08/2017 21:19

If she doesn't have pockets where would she put her phone?

Ttbb · 26/08/2017 21:40

why doesn't Your dp want to, you know, actually spend some time with her? It's not like he sees that much of her-why doesn't he go out with her?

PeaFaceMcgee · 26/08/2017 22:04

Yes - how is holding a £50 phone whilst 'playing out' safe?!

Original poster
MsMarvel · 26/08/2017 22:16

FFS so a child wanting to play outside with her friends leads to dp is a deadbeat dad who doesn't want to spend time with his daughter...

I'm getting sick of this place.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 26/08/2017 22:18

Grin For god's sake, why would her dad go and play in the street?

ImperialBlether · 26/08/2017 22:19

Of course she should bring her phone with her. Does he collect her? Could he ask for it then?

PovertyPain · 26/08/2017 22:19

Can she wear the key on a chain, around her neck? I do agree she should have her phone. As the mother said why she doesn't send it?

Papafran · 26/08/2017 22:21

Ttbb because she wants to play with her friends outside I presume. Maybe having her dad join in the games would cramp her style a bit?

OohDammit · 26/08/2017 22:32

Wow.

OP, since your question was should she bring the phone with her when staying with you and DP, you are absolutely NBU. Of course she should.

The fact that she has a phone in the first place is not the point, the point is both of her parents pay for a phone so that she can be contacted. Does your DP collect her from home? If so can he ask for the phone then? Otherwise could he give her a pay as you go with basic handset when she is with you?

arethereanyleftatall · 26/08/2017 22:37

How old is she?
Not really the point I know.
Yes, the mother should send the phone with her.

emmyrose2000 · 26/08/2017 23:16

Playing outside is a red herring. The point is, DH is paying for half the phone, so yes, it is reasonable to expect that DC brings it with her when she is with him.

If her mum wants to keep the phone solely for use when the DC is with her, then she needs to take over paying the entire bill.

How old is SD?

ImperialBlether · 26/08/2017 23:22

Maybe he needs to stop paying for that phone and buy the cheapest he can and let her have that when she's with you. Pain in the neck, but what alternative is there?

ShapelyBingoWing · 26/08/2017 23:23

I'd not quibble over the £5 a month this is costing him. And I find it a bit odd that her not having a phone on her means your DP stands at the window watching her. Is she old/mature enough to be playing out without direct supervision or not? Confused

geekone · 26/08/2017 23:34

YANBU my EXSIL got my brother to pay for half my niece's phone but it also never made it to my parents or brothers when she stayed over. This was because my EXSIL was actually using it herself and my brother was paying for it. You never know.....

MoonfaceAndSilky · 26/08/2017 23:43

why doesn't Your dp want to, you know, actually spend some time with her?

How do you know how much time he spends with her? So you think the child should be with her dad all of the time rather than playing with her friends?? Hmm