To think she should send the phone down?

[MsMarvel]

Last month dsd got her first mobile phone. She has started playing out with kids in the neighbourhood, so it seemed time that she should be able to contact someone if needed.

Her mum spoke to dp about it, and they agreed to go half in for it, the handset cost £50 and it's £10 a month (I think).

Now two weekends in a row, she's not sent the phone down to us. So currently, dsd is playing out, and dp is standing by the window watching them.

AIBU to think that if dp is paying for half the phone, we should be able to benefit from her having it as well?

He needs to be by the window so she can shout when she is wanting to come back in. The back area of the flats don't have a buzzer, she would need to walk round a load of other flats to get to the front. It's a pretty built up area in a not so good location so she still needs to be watched. She's 9.

That explains a lot! could she take the key out with her so she can let herself back in?

Could your dd's mum be using the phone by any chance? You should just get rid of it tbh.

Key on a loose chain round her neck and tucked inside her t-shirt would make it easier?

"why doesn't Your dp want to, you know, actually spend some time with her? It's not like he sees that much of her-why doesn't he go out with her?"

Why do you, you know, actually want a child to have friends at both parents houses. Do you stop your child play with friends they dont see that often?

I'd stop paying for half the phone and buy a cheap handset with a few quid in credit on it. It stays in the drawer and gets given to the child when she goes out.

But as pp have said, if she's no pockets for a key, where would she keep a phone??

"It's a pretty built up area in a not so good location" if it's not a safe area why are you letting a 9 year old out on her own to play out, spend the weekend taking her places, parks cinemas swimming and doing clubs.

A 9 year old does not need a phone! Having a valuable and heavy item to take care of whilst playing out will become a nuisance for the poor girl.

As a pp said - key on a string as has been used for generations. I wonder if the mother assumed that the phone was for use when DD was away from home, e.g. at a friends house and so would not need it. I've never heard of a child taking their phone to play outside their house at any age.

No the phone was specifically bought for when she is playing outside with friends.

I don't necessarily agree with it either, I'm just saying what her parents have decided and done.

The question I'm asking is if the above reasons and situation is accepted, should the phone also be sent down to us at the weekends.

No point in discussion whether or not she should have a phone, a key, a cheaper phone, or discussing what the phone is actually for. She has a phone, it is for when she is playing out with friends, and dp pays half.

Yes she should have the phone but it's a bit agreesive to tell people there's no point discussing the other elements of the situation.

If she has no pockets the phone will get lost. She needs a small bag to keep it in and a key as well.

Chances are her mother has realised that it was a stupid idea for playing out & therefore doesn't bother sending it down for use in that way?

Are you sure she hasn't already lost the phone and that's why it's not turning up with her on the weekend?

On the bare bones of your question, it sounds like, yes, the phone should be sent for the weekend. But there could be valid reasons why it isn't if you haven't asked her mum why she's not sending it I'd be reluctant to commit to her mum being unreasonable. And if you are intending to send her out to play with it when she doesn't even have a pocket to keep it in, that's possibly the reason it doesn't get sent down, though that's just a guess.