blacked out, wet myself, AIBU about incontinence knickers

[Redfaced2017]

Ok, this is roughly what happened,

had a stressful day yesterday - mammogram came back earlier in the week showing an abnormality so had to go for a needle-biopsie, but it all worked out well in the end, it was a cyst. It was around 4pm I got the all clear. I was of course over the moon. Went home, got changed and went out to dinner with DH at 7pm. I felt on top of the world, liek all the stress of the previous days ahd just vanished... then all of a sudden, without warning, after the starter, just started on our mains and I fainted or blacked out.

Was out cold for around 3 minutes, when I came to I realised I had wet myself. And not a dribble, no, completely emptied my bladder judging by how my clothes, the seat etc looked. It was mortifying. I can hardly even type this.

Saw a doc late last night and while I do have to follow up with my GP he felt my neuro signs and heart signs could all keep till Monday when I have to see my GP for further tests.

Was supposed to go out with my best friend tomorrow but I said I had to go first and buy some incontinence knickers. Both my best friend and my husband feel I am jumping the gun here and being a bit over dramatic with insisting I can't go out the door without incontinence knickers on till I know this isn't going to happen again.

My AIBU is, if you had one fainting spell, zero warning, in a busy public place, and emptied your bladder would you wear incontinence knickers too, or would you be more like my friend and husband who both think more along the lines of "well it's only ever happened once and not likely to happen again".

I just need more opinions as I KNOW I am VERY emotional today, and chances are high that I am maybe not thinking straight, but I think husband and friend are insane to even suggest I just chance it. Right now I feel like I will never leave the house EVER again without them on.

AIBU?

I'm so sorry you had such a traumatic experience. However, I think you're far too worked up about wetting yourself. You didn't do this on purpose and you should feel no shame about it. When you finally came to, did everyone point and laugh at you? Of course not! They were all probably very concerned about your welfare. Even if this were to happen again, who cares! A little bit of wee never hurt anyone.

In an ideal world that's how it would happen. But although I never heard as I was out cold apparently a few folks at another table did a "ewww how horrid she has pissed herself" type of comments when I was out for the count. A member of staff spoke to them harshly my husband said but there'll always be one arsehole who will point or laugh or make a nasty comment. I wish I could let that kind of thing glide off of me like water off a ducks back, but no. soaked in urine to my knees...and my feets slipping around in my urine soaked sandals does kind of get me worked up. sorry.

it will be winter soon and my clothes will be more layers and thicker... hurrah! and I will have socks on to absorb the pee. Every cloud and all that. :-)

Thanks all of you, it has really helped hearing so many of you have experienced this and gone on to have no repeats. I appreciate that and appreciate you sharing something so embarrassing. Cheers

Redfaced - I hope you get sorted at the docs and it was just a one-off for you.

It could be a heart rythym problem, which may not have shown on an ECG after the event if the rhythm had gone back to normal. It may take a three day monitor to record it - if it's that at all. I have a heart rhythym disorder that caused near faints, thankfully not actual faints, but with medication it's all under control.
To be honest I personally wouldn't go out socially until I had seen the GP - or at least for a few days till I was a bit more confident. I would definitely avoid alcohol for now.

But although I never heard as I was out cold apparently a few folks at another table did a "ewww how horrid she has pissed herself" type of comments when I was out for the count..

.....and someone thought it would be a good idea to tell you that people were mocking you. How thoughtless.

I'm sorry it happened, it must have been awful for you 💐

www.incontinenceuk.co.uk have some that seem to be all in one and are 300ml as well. They might be more secure than Ines where the pad is separate.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, if it makes you feel more secure, then that's all that counts.

If it was me I'd try one out at home. Put a pair on & when you next need to go, hold it in for a while, as long as possible without it being uncomfortable, then take yourself off to the bathroom and sit on the loo, but use the pad. Hopefully that'll give you the confidence to go out & about.

I hope they run another FULL set of tests & can rule worrying things out 💐

I've had a ECGs a couple of times after bad fainting spells, although that's been at a&e afterwards.
I would say I can't believe people would be that dickish about an obvious medical problem, but people can be such twats. Does anyone else remember the story where a family complained after someone had a heart attack (I think) in a restaurant and had to be taken away in an ambulance?
I think that anything that gives you confindence can't be bad op, you shouldn't feel embarrassed, but that doesn't mean you're not. I remember being absolutely mortified that I wet myself coming around from an op, completely not my fault, and the nurses were lovely about it, but I still wanted the ground to swallow me up.

I know someone who's had this - peed all over a restaurant. Harmless, apparently.One off, etc. So don't worry but why not wear a pad for a bit, no point getting stressed.

My mum used to faint a lot and she always peed herself.

OP

Get the Tena discreet ones that look like knickers. They don't show under clothes and won't scare your DH. Pretty sure you won't need them and will be back to normal knickers in no time.

My DS fainted during a gory PHSE lesson ... and royally wet himself! Good luck Op with your tests

I was in a car accident once. I blacked out, and when I came yo, I realised that I had wet myself. I was worried that I'd had a fit (one of my parents is epileptic) but never had that investigated. I was in a taxi, in the back seat, and the driver was in a worse state than me so nobody has observed anything. This was maybe 20 years ago, and it hasn't happened ever again.

If you want something to make you feel more secure, do it. It will give you confidence. But it may be that this is a one off, as it was for me.

The fainting might be post prandial hypotension? It happened to DS once at school at lunchtime. Caused a major panic amongst the staff but the paramedics said they get loads of calls to restaurants for people who have passed out after a meal. It is something to do with the intestines needing a lot of blood to digest a meal I think. DS only had one instance of it if that helps reassure you.

OP be thankful it was your bladder and not your bowels! Hope you feel like yourself again soon

Did your GP do other blood tests. Fainting can often be an early sign of vitamin deficiencies/inflammatory bowel disease.

I probably would untill further testings been done

When my girls have had to had full bladders for kidney scans the sonographers have both said (different scans at different times) that the average human bladder will hold a full can of Coke, so the 300ml capacity should be enough.

Get the pads, go out and try to relax. It's doubtful it'll happen again but if you've got the confidence of the pad it'll make you less stressed, which can only be a good thing.

Good luck with the tests.

This happened to me once and only once; in my final year at Uni, I blacked out, bit my tongue and emptied my bladder...doc ran an EEG but was satisfied it was just stress related (exams, etc.) and there were no underlying issues. I didn't feel particularly stressed at the time but doc said you don't necessarily have to feel stressed to BE stressed!? Hope it was just a one-off for you; possibly just your body's reaction to previous stresses.

EEG, MRI and/CT for neurology and an ECG for fainting - it's entirely likely that the OP has been sent for an ECG if the doctor think she's fainted; that's usually cardio-related and not neurological.

"but there'll always be one arsehole who will point or laugh or make a nasty comment."

This, however, rarely happens - I have epilepsy and there's been no nasty comments, the worst that happens is people ignore, or walk over, you. Sorry that this was your experience.

I am a 'fainter' and it sounds like a faint to me. Did you have an alcoholic drink before the dinner or before you went out? If I have been extremely stressed, and running about, if I had an alcoholic drink on an empty stomach it definitely lowers my blood pressure instantly. If dinner is delayed thereafter I am in trouble if I don't eat something.
Also, when I get a bad 'fright' like bad news about myself or someone else, I might faint not straight away but a bit later on.
What did they do with you in the restaurant after you first fainted? If they didn't lie you down or put your head between your knees you might just keep blacking out again for a couple of minutes.

Those other people are shits OP. My sister had epilepsy and would usually both puke and pee herself, after having done the scary fit thing.

I never heard anyone making 'ewww' comments, as most people are decent human beings. I'm glad your biopsy was ok, but sorry you had to go through that

Ps sister never wore incontinence pants. But do whatever makes you feel secure.

Best of luck with GP today. Are you in the UK? Mine is closed for bank holiday....

Yes, you are being ridiculous. The very last thing that a bystander cares about when someone collapses in front of them is whether they lose control of their bladder - really.
It may be the last thing a bystander cares about but the OP isn't a bystander so she felt embarrassed (as would most people who weren't the bystander in such a scenario!). It probably was a one-off faint because of all the stress and then the relief, but if it makes you feel better now till you've had it "proved" then it's not hurting anyone. I'm sure bystanders won't be caring about you wearing incontinence knickers either - if they do they're a strange bunch