To think patterns on clothes are mostly shit?

[custardcreamplease]

I've had a revelation. I exist in patterned dresses, cardis, patterned trousers, blouses and tshirts with some sort of flower, dot or animal on it.

I opened my wardrobe a few days ago and realised I hated all of it. This honestly came out of nowhere. I looked at it all and went WTF.

I'm a grown woman with a fairly responsible job, plus the usual adult trappings, husband, kids, bills. So why the fuck am I wearing dresses with twee fucking daisies on them? Everything has a little flower on it, or ducks, or foxes. I even have a scarf with a unicorn pattern. Why the hell have I been wearing this shit?

I honestly can't face wearing any of it ever again. So I decided I'd go through it all, charity shop all the twee shit and buy some new things. I'd still like a range of colours and styles, but no bloody patterns! And it's really hard to find anything suitable!

I don't know whether I've just had awful taste in clothes for most of my adult life, or if it's an attempt to pretty things up, but everything looks like Cath Kidston boked on it

Any style tips would be welcome.... I want to look reasonably stylish but practical... No more twee shit!

everything looks like Cath Kidston boked on it

I understand you. Had this realisatiin other day! Cant wait for winter so i can cover it with my coat!

Haha brilliant
Only wear black head to foot with a black veil from now on in

Haha at Cath Kidston.

I had exactly the same revelation a month or so ago. Floral prints just look shit. Same with polka dots and other crap patterns. I don't want to walk around in my Granny's curtains.

Currently getting rid of all patterned clothes. I feel 10x better about my clothes since I stopped wearing them. How do you feel about stripes?

My best friend and I had similar conversation yesterday but about this year's fashions. Some terrible prints, all unsurprisingly in the sale now

Where do buyers get their ideas from? I can safely say I could do a better job with no experience whatsoever

I love patterned clothes you can't go wrong with a bit of leopard print.

Sea salt patterns are usually a bit less ugly.

Uniqlo and Cos.

Totally with you OP! I can't stand the kath kidson floral vomit and cutsey animals all over stuff gives me rage. Why do shops think we all want to dress like ickle children? Gah!
I tend to snap up clothes that have a bit of texture to the fabric. That way you can still have a bit of visual interest without cranking up the twee factor. I like All Saints as their clothes are a bit edgier and they at least do some in natural fibres (the polyester problem is something else that really pisses me off, but that's a whole other thread). All Saints is eye-wateringly expensive though. I can only ever afford a very small selection of in the sale.

All Saints rocks - maybe look at ebay? Fucking hate Cath Kidston with a passion.

I second cos. I think they sell very elegant interesting and "grown up" clothes

It's plain or strips for me. I decided to treat my self to new tops. Bought eight from different shops. All stripped. 😳 I think prints are cute on young women but age older women. I have lots of very fancy dresses and my late dear husband and I used to go out a lot. After I lost him I was clearing out cupboards, opened opened up my cupboards and realised they look horrible. 😱 Think beads and sparkling stones on floaty material. I'm 48 and now dress like a tramp as I'm a dog sitter. 😁

I will have patterned dresses or skirts but that's it. No tops or trousers or cardigans. Just plain colours.
Part of my pattern phobia comes from a story in Jackie I read as a teenager where a girl was taught never to mix patterns! I decided it was easier to stay away completely! For work its mostly neutral boring black or navy trousers and a more colourful top.

I'm going to check out some of these recommendations, starting to feel that I'd rather spend a bit more on one good, plain item, rather than aces of frou frou.

I'm reasonably attractive, quite fit etc, but have a jaw like a lantern and that Amazonian build. Why the fuck I've been wearing cutesy dresses with little rows of ducks and flowers on, I do not know. I liked it too. "Oooh, look at that nice ruffled dress with the hot air balloons on it!"

Why did nobody tell me???

from a story in Jackie. Blimey, that's a throwback! Giving away your age. 😀

Oh dear .Still, it's better than Batik or (gag) paisley print. Who ever thought THAT was a good idea?
I don't mind a little embroidery but never wear patterns myself.
Good luck and have fun shopping

YANBU. Patterns tend to look cheap. Stripes less so.

Apart from some leopard print and a couple of striped dresses, I own nothing patterned. Bright colours, white, cream, navy and black. Lots of cream.

I shop at:

Zara
Asos
& Other Stories
The Outnet
The Dressing Room
Whistles (some - mostly overpriced shite these days,

My idea of hell (clothes wise) would be patterned shite from Phase 8, Fat Face, Joules, Boden or Sea Salt. I reserve a particular venomous hatred for Phase 8 though.

I'm meal planning my wardrobe, for want of a better phrase.

This is very, very rough, but so far, post clear out, I think I'm left with

Black work trousers x 3
Black work dress x 2
Grey wool work dress
Plain work blouses in range of colours - burgundy, cream etc

Day wear
Two pairs of skinny jeans
One pair of "good" black jeans
Few pairs of those ankle grazer trousers in plain colours
A few off the shoulder type evening blouses
Some basic tshirts and vest tops
Red swing skirt
Grey jersey dress
Burgundy jersey dress
Cable knit jumper dress thing

That's....more or less it. Shoes are all OK. I still like colours, so am thinking a grey dress could be brightened up with a coloured paid of tights.

I've also got rid of all my cardigans - they were ok, but I feel they belong to the tyranny of twee! I only wore them because I don't like bare arms but was often too warm for a coat or jacket - I think I'll make the effort to wear clothes with proper sleeves, thus dispensing with the need for a cardi.

Feel cleansed. No more fussy, busy shite!

Good work! Clear out the cardigans indeed! Awful things - I don't own a single one.

Yes. Yes. I had this exact thought this summer when (after four summers of being pregnant, bit fat, pregnant, bit fat) I ripped open my pre-pregnancy days summer wear with glee as I could finally fit into it.

It all looked...wrong. Then I realised it was all either a) shabby chic floral b) tile or ikat print maxi dresses c) tiered/flouncy/uber feminine. Basically fashion has moved on hugely away from the shabby chic era into a more clean cut/masculine/block colour/normcore era. Or 1990s rehash if you're a teen.

I was gutted. I've been wearing one pair of denim shorts and plain t-shirts all summer, wondering how to step back onto the fashion conveyor belt and feeling lost. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll start dressing like Phillipa Perry, mad hair and kooky glasses. She's cool.

Oh god, maxi dresses. I have bagged up five of the damn things. They were the most overly patterned things I owned. One actually had different patterns colliding - think polka dots running into floral. Don't know how I wore the damn thing without a migraine coming on.

I have a suspicion that absolutely none of it suited me, and I looked like a horse in a tutu. Oh the shame

...and I looked like a horse in a tutu...

Haha this thread made me laugh. I bloody hate patterns! Always have, always will.

I was helping my toddler balance on a beam at a playground the other day when I looked down and saw the four year old girl next to him was wearing the exact same dress as me - turquoise with flamingoes all over it. Only she had teamed it with a sparkly pink cardigan which I loved. I'm ok with dressing like a four year old tbh; I may be slightly ridiculous but I wear boring clothes to work and I like to look different on my days off. I was slightly taken aback though .