To think 9st 7lbs isn't underweight?

[OverTheHammer]

I want to set my new weight goal to 9st 7lbs. I currently weigh 10st 1lbs so it's not that far from what I am now and when I look in the mirror, I still see a fat, flabby mess.

My friend thinks 9st 7lbs would make me underweight but I don't see how it could do when I still look fat at my current weight which is only half a stone more!

I'm 5ft 9in.

You don't have to be bigger as you get older but it is more of an effort and post menopausal my waist thickened a little and my boobs went up two cup sizes. I still weigh pretty much the same. I'm currently changing my eating habits by going no carbs in the evening.

I am petite and if I tell people what I weigh they have always thought I weigh considerably less. Personally I go with what I measure. I was making a costume and had to measure round my thigh, I haven't for years but it was the same as when I was a teenager. I had every part of my body measured when I was modelling with a clause that it wasnt allowed to change nor was I allowed to put on weight or cut my hair.

You thinking your fat and flabby is very wrong, I remember how messed up a lot of the girls were about their weight and size and I include myself. Be really careful you don't keep lowering the target. I'm wondering if this is more about how you feel after giving birth and changes in your body.

In all honesty I have never ever allowed myself to get overweight and it stems from those times. I had an undiagnosed eating disorder during that time, when I had my first child I only weighed just over nine stone when I gave birth. I weigh just over nine and a half stone as a middle aged post menopausal women. It's the heaviest I have ever been and I look much better for it.

"Healthy" BMI goes down to 18, but there were arguments that it should in fact be set at 20. Below 20, mortality rates starting shifting upwards, and the low end of healthy BMIs has a higher mortality rate than the low end of overweight.

To me, it really sounds like you're shifting your own goal posts - could you look up some body weight exercises or anything like that to enable you to build muscle? Things like v-sits, side and front planks are super easy to do at home and will build core strength. Remember also that women need a much higher % body fat than men because that's how we manufacture our hormones.

Obviously it does depend on your frame but I really really doubt that you are a fat flabby mess. I have a friend who is mid 40s, a little shorter than you and sitting at 10st 8ish, and is incredibly slim.

Even if you don't want to take up weights, things like just increasing excercise like brisk walks, squats, swimming or doing more of things like the gardening will increase muscle mass.

It totally depends.

It is underweight for your height. The healthy range used by Eating Disorders units is 20-25.

I was 9st 4 at 5ft 10 when I was hospitalised for anorexia.

But aibu isn't going to give you a balanced perspective and if you do have a disordered relationship with food it might even give you unhealthy validation.

Your friend sounds like she is looking out for you.

You sound as though you have a distorted body image.

But nobody here can tell you whether a certain height and weight is healthy for you.

Start lifting weights and build some muscle and some curbs. I was 55kg and looked 'a fat flabby mess'. I weightlifted and dieted to 52kg then ate at maintenance to 55kg again. The two photos side by side, I look a lot slimmer in the second - well-toned waist, back, arse - despite being the same scale weight.

You won't look slim, toned and healthy just dieting - the only look that gets you is emaciated. Start focusing on muscle and results will follow :)

You really can overdo the weight loss. I've always been a yoyo dieter and I have issues with body image. I'm 5'7 and I would like to lose a stone to get back to what I consider a healthy weight for me, despite being 12/14.

But I once let myself get carried away with losing weight and got myself down to 9:7, which actually caused my periods to stop, and I'll never know whether that also destroyed my fertility long-term, though the period loss was temporary and they returned when I got back to 10 stone.

I've always hated the way my tummy feels like it sticks out, I even felt that way at 9:7, so don't think you'll automatically feel better if you get down to that weight. My DSis said the same things your friend is saying and she was right; why not forget about your weight and concentrate on fitness? Muscle is heavier than fat so you possibly won't lose weight but you'll hopefully feel happier about how you look.

I'm 5' 9" too and was on the 5:2 diet two years ago. My perfect weight then was 9st 6, so 9st 7 is just right I think.

Best of luck - I'm bigger that you now at 10st 4, so those slimmer days seem very far off currently!

When I had gallstones and dramatically lost a stone in a month, I got to about 9st 7 and looked gaunt and unwell. I'm 5ft 7 and 10st ish. If I get to 10st2 I do something about it and prefer to hover just under.

But I agree with all the previous posters who have said that it depends on your body and how and where you carry your weight. I'm quite fit, I do yoga, do free weights and run three times a week. Muscle is quite heavy but I prefer to be toned than weigh the same and be unfit.

Perhaps your friend is trying to express that she is worried that you will carry on lowering your target weight, or that she is worried about your relationship with food at the moment?

I'm 5'9'' and was called skinny Malinky and accused of being anorexic at 9st13lb. Wish I was still that skinny (I was skinny not just slim) and I'm over 16 stone now and look a fucking mess 😖

It depends on your build as well. My sister and her friend are similar heights and weights but my sister has a small frame and looks in proportion but her friend has a larger frame so looks odd because her knees and elbows are wider than her arms and thighs.

Im 5ft8 and about the same weight. I look slim (I wear a size 8-10 depending on where my clothes are from) but not ill. I can still grab a handful of "flab" around my hips and stomach so don't expect it to magically vanish when you reach your target weight.

I'm 5ft9 and 10 stone and six months pregnant so I can see how it could feel flabby to be honest.

I was 8 stone 7 when I got pregnant and I'm usually around 8 stone 10/12. I'm a perfectly normal 8-10, eat normally and although I have a horse I'm a happy hacker so don't really do a lot of exercise, more gentle strolls round the countryside :D

Get yourself some weights from Argos and the 30 Day Shred DVD. You probably won't lose weight but you'll no longer look flabby.