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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think 9st 7lbs isn't underweight?

62 replies

OverTheHammer · 26/08/2017 10:16

I want to set my new weight goal to 9st 7lbs. I currently weigh 10st 1lbs so it's not that far from what I am now and when I look in the mirror, I still see a fat, flabby mess.

My friend thinks 9st 7lbs would make me underweight but I don't see how it could do when I still look fat at my current weight which is only half a stone more!

I'm 5ft 9in.

OP posts:
WavingNotDrowning · 26/08/2017 10:41

I'm a similar height to you - I'm v thin at that weight with skinny arms, neck and body (ribs showing).

19lottie82 · 26/08/2017 10:41

OP I think you should be focusing on why at 10st 1 lb and 5ft 9" you think you're a fat flabby mess? With all due respect, there's no way that's possibly true.

Squeegle · 26/08/2017 10:41

Isn't that about muscle tone rather than fat?

cashmerecardigans · 26/08/2017 10:41

Age 51 here, so don't assume you will get bigger as you get older

FizzyGreenWater · 26/08/2017 10:41

Only you know!

Body shape and your carriage are such big factors on how weight looks on someone, as is muscle v fat. BMI is generally bullshit, within reason!

It's interesting you describe yourself as 'flabby'. Now, you are currently a pretty healthy weight for your height, which you know, so is the problem toning? You say you are going to the gym. Would it be worth forgetting about 'target weights' and getting some advice on a gym program which will target the parts of your body you are unhappy with? It's perfectly possible to be underweight and have a flabby tum, for example!

Target weights are just as nonsensical a way to try and achieve happy healthy body sizes as anything else. You could go down to 9 stone and still find your shape isn't what you want. You could start pilates or resistance training or something and find your weight 'goes up' but that you lose inches where you want to.

So that's what I would do.

alisonyawn · 26/08/2017 10:42

Trills I said "I personally think BMI is bullshit." I'm allowed that opinion. My doctor has told me I need to lose 5 stone, to be considered at the top end of my healthy range.. 5 STONE. I'm a size 14, and built muscly due to being a martial artist. If I lost 8 stone I'd look dead.

ChippingInLovesWoollyHugs · 26/08/2017 10:43

No one on here can answer that question.

If your genuinely lovely best friend, who doesn't have a mean or jealous bone in her body, is telling you that, I think you should listen. I think you should book an appointment with someone whose opinion you trust - whether that's your GP or a PT at the gym.

It is very easy to end up in a bad place with ED's or exercise addiction.

Listen to her, she's not saying this for no good reason is she.

HiJenny35 · 26/08/2017 10:43

I've had an eating disorder as a teenager and while it's true that some people get obsessed and keep moving the goal posts others don't. As for say 8lb won't make a difference that also isn't true. I'm happy between 8 and a half and 9.2 at 9.9 I look a flabby mess. I carry all extra weight on my middle and I literally look a flabby mess. My other half can put on a stone and a half and not look very different. It really depends on how and where you carry the weight. If you still aren't happy once you've lost that weight I'd look at you muscle tone rather than weight loss.

alisonyawn · 26/08/2017 10:43

*5stone

FizzyGreenWater · 26/08/2017 10:43

Seen your HANDFULS OF FLAB update Grin

Yes, start thinking toning and stop thinking weight loss.

You're a good weight, but an untoned shape by the sound of it.

Good that you are in the gym already! Ask a personal trainer for an advice session?

Good luck, and I am jealous of your 5ft 9 height and your weight which is already less than mine and I am shorter!!! Grin

Original poster
OverTheHammer · 26/08/2017 10:45

I'm also a martial artist. I know it probably is exercise I need more than anything but I'm ridiculously introverted and dare not ask anyone at the gym how to use the various weight machines 😭 I went to an exercise class a couple of weeks ago and wasn't treated very nicely and it's really put me off

OP posts:
PacificDogwod · 26/08/2017 10:46

It's not about your weight but about your perception of not just how you look but how much fat you should be 'allowed'.
Being able to grab a bit of hip fat is quite normal.
Aim for strong and healthy and get off the scales! Grin

Papafran · 26/08/2017 10:46

alisonyawn I am also 'heavy' compared to how I look. At my absolute thinnest, I was never under 10 st at 5' 6'', but I wore a size 8. But I do wonder whether doctors have eyes when they tell someone who is a size 14 to lose 5 stone.

I went to a slimming group once after I gained weight. I was 12 st 10 and was still in size 12 clothes, but they were getting tight. There was another woman there who was around the same height but visibly much bigger- probably around a size 16-18. She was a pound lighter than me. Everyone is different.

OhDearToby · 26/08/2017 10:47

I'm 5'8 and normally weigh around 9 stone. I'm slim but definitely not underweight. I have small boobs, tiny arms, flat (ish, have just had dd3 so it's not perfect!) stomach but my thighs and bum are bigger and very wobbly!

I think that exercise would probably tone me up a bit but I really can't be arsed.

MehMehAndMeh · 26/08/2017 10:50

Instead of standing around feeling uncomfortable about the machines why not book an induction so a member of staff takes you round each machine and shows you how they work. My gym won't let anyone near them unless they've had an induction.

Triskaidekaphilia · 26/08/2017 10:51

I'm 5'7 and I looked healthiest at around that weight because I have very small bones. However, at the time I still felt fat- so I would caution you that you may still feel that way. I ended up letting my weight crawl back up but now I see I didn't need to lose any more, just tone up a bit.

zzzzz · 26/08/2017 10:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MiddlingMum · 26/08/2017 10:52

There are lots of toning exercises you could do at home, there are lots of videos etc online.

We have lost sight of what is a normal healthy weight imo. So many people are overweight for various reasons that a slim person, who would have looked totally normal a generation ago, is now considered to be underweight Hmm

randomsabreuse · 26/08/2017 10:53

I guess it depends on frame size. I'm a 28 inch ribcage and need an extra small Parkrun wristband while BMI 29 or so - ribs pretty padded. So I have a small frame and should be aiming for lower end of healthy BMI. Possibly could make allowance if my boobs fail to shrink though. Someone whose ribcage is 32 with zero fat would clearly never be as light with the same body composition.

I am admittedly dreaming of single figure weight (in stone) but seeing how slight my DD is made me look critically at my build and admit that I am unlikely to be heavy boned given wrist and ribcage sizing (can't judge hips due to excessive padding)!

ifonly4 · 26/08/2017 10:55

Your friend is obviously looking out for you, so must be a good friend.

I'd say as long as you're eating plenty of nutritious foods, have energy and don't feel tired you'll be fine. By the way, my bmi puts me just in the underweight category where I've always been. I don't skip meals, in fact, I'd say I probably eat more calories than my husband whose 11st.

WhereDoesThisRoadGo · 26/08/2017 10:55

Have you thought about focusing on strength training and toning rather than weight loss. I am 5'7" and look my best when 10st7lbs with a body fat ratio of 19%. Strength training makes me look slim and strong.

Basically the programme is 2 days heavy weights and 2 day light HIIT weight training per week. I also swim and cycle as additional fat burning cardio.

AuntieStella · 26/08/2017 11:05

When I weighed about 4.5 stone more than I do now, I had a BMI over 30 and could still wear size 14 in some brands. If anything's meaningless, it's clothes sizing.

FlameCrestedTanager · 26/08/2017 11:10

It all depends on your build and body composition. I'm the same height (and age) as you and weigh about 9 stone 2. When I was 10 stone I was also a "fat flabby mess" as any excess weight goes immediately to my middle. I put on the weight very slowly over three years due to joint problems (couldn't exercise at all). Apart from that blip I've weighed around 9 stone since I was 16. I have a raft of doctors due to my joint problem but all are very happy with my weight.

We've lost sight of what's healthy. Obviously there are people who are a lot heavier and still healthy but if you're a small build and don't have a lot of muscle mass then a lower body weight is probably right for you.

mando12345 · 26/08/2017 11:13

I'm that weight and 5'8, you'll be fine.
I have a little flab on my stomach which does go if I lose weight but then my face gets too thin. But I could never be described as skinny at my current weight and don't think you will be at 1" taller!

lljkk · 26/08/2017 11:21

Post a picture now of yourself with minimal clothes on (you know what I mean, not a rude pic!). If you have a light frame then the target sounds fine. Not so good if you've got broad shoulders.