To move to Cornwall?

[Ansumpasty]

Name change as this is very outing for me!

I have the opportunity to move to Cornwall. My parents moved there a year ago and love it and I've fallen in love with the place. I understand that summer in Cornwall differs very much from winter there but have taken this onboard and looking at the bigger picture.
DH works away most of the time and so I'm largely alone in a distant part of the UK from Cornwall. His job is based in Holland so it's irrelevant to him where we live. It is slightly more difficult for him to get flights into Cornwall but not a massive issue. I have 2 DC, one who is 6 and going into year 2 soon and one who is 3.

Having both my parents close by again will be amazing for both me and my DC and part of me feels like this is an opportunity that cannot be missed. However, AIBU to take oldest DC out of an amazing school (best in the area) where he is very settled and happy and put him in a school that might not be very good, uprooting and unsettling him incase it all comes crashing down? I am a SAHM so my job isn't an issue.

I also worry that I won't be able to get youngest DS in the same school. He will be starting reception in a year and so I will have to be applying for his place soon, which complicates things even further.

We currently live in a large city, with plenty of jobs and prospects. There is the risk that if we settle there permanently, DC will struggle getting work as adults as I'm aware work is hard to find. I'm taking giant leaps here, though! Housing is also a hell of a lot cheaper here. We will be able to afford to buy there, albeit a smaller house.

Has anyone been in this position or is from Cornwall and can offer any advice? How is it to raise children there and settle in as an outsider? How welcoming are other school parents to outsiders, especially if in a smaller village?

We are looking at the Truro/Falmouth area...is there a particular village/school that you would recommend or avoid? Forums online seem to slate Redruth but I personally don't see anything wrong with it and the houses are much more affordable.

So basically, AIBU to uproot DC's entire lives and good education at the 'chance' of a better life and grandparents around?

Moved to Truro two years ago for work reasons. I have never felt more at home anywhere else in the uk even though non of my family live here and I never even used to holiday here as a child.
Primary Schools in Truro are all over subscribed apart from one - an academy that is working on its reputation.
The secondary schools are good and there is no problem getting into the one you want.
GP surgery has been great - DH sees his own GP whenever he asks to.
Trelisk, the hospital, has been amazing and saved both my DHs and DSs life in the last two years.

To simplify:

1. It will feel like emigrating to another country 2)Rent here for one year before you decide 3)The 'clay' towns are the real Cornwall. The 'commuter' towns where outsiders have moved in, will feel more familiar to you. But what's the point of moving to a replica town?

I grew up in Cornwall (born in the mid-70s). There was lots of underage drinking, sex and drugs. Looking at my relative's/friend's children now nothing has really changed.
My kids say that although they love spending time down there visiting family they wouldn't ever want to live there as it's 'boring'. I wouldn't want to move back, people there are insular and nosy. Also like someone else said the 'real' towns/villages where people live all year round aren't pretty. Places like St Ives, St Mawes, Looe etc are pretty but flooded with 2nd home-owners and holiday properties that mean they can feel dead in the off season.
It takes a long time to get anywhere from Cornwall, especially if you are down west.
Treliske nearly killed my Mum last year.
The stroke ward my Grandad was on was terrible. Nurses in both wards had very little compassion and on the stroke ward they left food/drink out of reach of patients etc. My Mum and her siblings ended up helping the patients with their meals
Sorry if this all sounds as if I don't like Cornwall. I do, my heritage goes back centuries there, it's where my heart lies, but not my head.

Andsum Cheese and onion oggies are the way to go. The Pasty shop by the church in Callington does the best ones. Please note that anything marked Ginsters is not a pasty.

Cornwall is my favourite holiday destination and I love it but I'd never live there.
It's way too far from anywhere else and it's a very poor county with lots of unemployment.
I live on the South downs which is much more central and go to Cornwall on holiday.

If you fancy Constantine (which Btw Has THE Best off License In The Country) also Check Out Mawnan Smith...

That's a shame about st Marys op it's such a good school so not surprised it's oversubscribed. Marlborough School is also a good school (again oversubscribed), but worth a try?

We live in Falmouth, moved here 7 years ago. The schools are all very good but career jobs can be difficult to find. There's usually seasonal pub type jobs. People are friendly. Scenery is obviously gorgeous but my family love four hours away so that's a big downside. It takes 3 hours just to get to outside of Devon which is looooong with kids.
Id say go for it if its to move near family but keep in mind the future job situation for your dcs.

It's not a case of being reasonable or unreasonable - why is this in AIBU?

We moved away from Cornwall 12 years ago. Best thing we ever did. Cornwall is beautiful for going on holiday but the lack of employment opportunities, activities, cost of living and just the life in general means we would never go back or anywhere near!

We are hundreds of miles from grandparents but always have been since we had our children. Would it be nice to be closer? No not in our circumstances, they wouldn't be any help to us but would cause problems. I've built friendships where we've lived which has meant that I have a fantastic support network and emergency contacts - they don't always need to be family.
Think VERY hard and look at the location you are thinking about moving to. Try and visit over the next few weeks and months to see what it is actually like. It also depends on where you are looking to move to, what facilities you need and house situation

Does it rain a lot here? I hadn't noticed

It honestly doesn't matter to me much, although I'd prefer blazing sun obviously! But my kids go surfing whether or not its raining, I take the dogs for beautiful walks whether or not its raining, we all play our various team sports at the weekends whether it's raining or not, and we bought a tent to go over the trampoline. As Billy Connelly once said, it's not bad weather, it's the wrong clothes.

Just so long as it's not cold, it's fine.

I would say go for it OP. Constantine is a lovely village. Any of the villages around that area are nice I think.

I don't know why so many other posters have mentioned worrying about schools either, there isn't a single school around the Falmouth area that I wouldn't have sent my DC to.

As for leaving to go to uni. You will have the University of Exeter on your doorstep, so it's up to them if they want to leave or not.

I grew up here in the 70s and had to leave for uni but I returned in the end, as did most of my friends.

And lastly, my friend works in NL and her company pays for a taxi from Gatwick for her as it's quicker.

Regarding healthcare, my DH has a rare blood cancer, discovered shortly after we moved to Cornwall. His care was initially at Barnstaple and latterly at Plymouth and both have been very good. We had to go to London (Kings) to see a specialist on one occasion and it was like a third world hospital in comparison - terribly busy (patients sitting on the floor to wait), procedures normally delivered in a theatre in Devon/Cornwall done on a crowded ward behind a curtain and three patents having chemo to a normal sized cubicle. We were quite shocked and opted for Plymouth for his major treatment. They've been great.

Also our GP is very good. Yes, you have to wait 3 weeks for a booked apt with a named GP,. but it is easy to get a same day appointment with another practice GP and they do not rely on locums as my previous practice (in the SE) did. Downside is that the GP is 6 miles away as opposed to a short walk, but that's just where we live!

As people are discussing healthcare, we've never had a problem getting a same day GP appointment, although we don't see the same doctor (but then I never ask to, I'm happy just to see whoever).
DH was in Treliske just before Christmas. The treatment in one ward was not great as the staff were rushed off their feet and it meant things got overlooked (like bringing drinks to patients) but the ward he was moved onto was fine. DD has spent a bit of time there on and off over the summer. Everyone has been amazing, from the staff on the ward to the porters who wheeled her bed around to the staff in x-Ray. Couldn't fault them - helpful, cheerful, explaining to her exactly what was going to happen at every stage. Although (fingers crossed) she's finished there now, she wants to go back because she likes it there!
So while they definitely have problems, they are not routinely awful.

Neutrogena I put it in AIBU because I'm not sure if uprooting my DC from where they were born and raised, where their friends are, where they are in an 'outstanding' school/preschool and where there are ample things to do and opportunities just because of my happiness and my loneliness here and lack of support when DH is away is unreasonable.
I want to do what's best for them, like any parent, and the insight and advice from asking on here has been brilliant and really helped me, and I'm really thankful to everyone who has contributed. I've read every reply out to DH while we are making our decision

I spent my whole childhood in Corwall but left for University and never returned as my job doesn't exist there. I lived rurally on a small holding not too far from Truro for most of that time but also spent a few years living in Falmouth. I had the most amazing childhood and am sad I cannot offer my children the same experience. Having said that, we visit at least once a year to see friends (parents moved to be near us when it became evident my sibling and I would not be returning) and it is not the Cornwall I grew up in and even if we moved there it would not be the same for my DC as it was for me.
I'm not sure if I would move back even if my family were still there and we could afford the kind of property we grew up in (only a small miner's cottage but with land and no neighbours). I definitely would not move to Redruth it was never a good area when I lived there and it still ranks as one of the country's most deprived areas. If I were you, and you decide to move, I would choose Falmouth over Truro.

Ansumpasty - are you guaranteed to get help and support from your parents if you do move down?

I moved to Cornwall as a teen and did school and college there and a few years working before moving away. I moved as there is just very little work- tourist work such as shops and cafes is the main thing, with massive hours in summer, a bump at new years, and very little the rest of the year. I spent my later school and college years working evenings and weekends to afford anything, especially college as I went to Truro College. At the time that was ranked very highly in the country, not sure how it is now, but it is massive and did offer some degrees.

I worked my arse off to move away, I went to London to nanny and very very few can afford a nanny down here. I ended up moving back but not by choice, I became disabled and moved back to be near to family and the rents are a lot more affordable. My London flat in Twickenham area had gone up to £1200 by the time I left, flat here is same size for £600 a month. If I got well I'd move back ina shot but thats as much to do with missing my job as the area.

I've found it's improved a lot since I moved away. It sounds silly but it's a lot cheaper now, this may be true elsewhere, but there is now home bargain type places, Aldi everywhere, even primark! Truro just got a Wilkos, there are the works, it seems minor but it has really made it seem better here having more choice in everything.

I have family who moved there at Easter. It's already gone tits up. The business they brought to give them all jobs is not even covering running costs and it's still peak season. The partner has tried to get a job outside of the tourist business they have and it's only agency as and when. The only bit they are enjoying is getting to the beach when they can while it's nice. Their child is only a preschooler but has found the move away from everywhere he knew and everyone he knew hard.

@Ansumpasty

Understood - thanks for the explanation

teaandtoast my mum is my best friend and has moved from from the US to be at least in the same country as us and her grandkids. She would 100% be a support so I'm not worried about that.

chattymum that's a shame, it's horrible to see someone's dream fail. Thankfully, we won't have to rely on work in Falmouth so will be bringing money rather than taking it. I did want to return to work once youngest is in school but I just have a vague degree and would struggle anywhere, to be honest.

Ah, that's cool.

I'm 'proper' Cornish (like 100s of years on one side) but have been expatriated elsewhere since I left for university. I won't be going back. It is lovely in many respects- the sea, moors etc. Truro is great- lots of good eating places, indie shops.

But - Employment options are really seriously limited (my Db works away during the week) and progression is really limited because people don't move around much. That doesn't look like a concern for you though- and as you're a SAHM you'll be able to do all the beach after school stuff.

One point is to think ahead to when your kids are teens and pick your location accordingly. Ideally have a bus route to truro or Falmouth. The curse of the Cornish parent is the endless ferrying around to random villages in the middle of the night. Or cinema runs to town. It's idyllic for primary aged kids but often frustrating for teens unless they are majorly into sailing or surfing. Activities are limited and everything is expensive.

I also struggle with some small mindedness - the geography, plus poverty, plus lack of diversity can lead to a bit of a toxic combo- I know several families who have moved away due to racism and a family member has had terrible racist abuse at school (an outstanding academy no less).

I hope you like driving too. Everywhere is FAR. I second the Exeter airport and train suggestion- Newquay airport is in the middle of nowhere and quite far from Falmouth.

Anyway- I had an idyllic childhood but frustrating teenage years. But as much could be true anywhere. And there is much more cultural activity- music etc than there used to be.

Thank you, Cockney, will have a look at the bus routes, good point.

Snowme what poppycock - 'the clay towns are the real cornwall'! What about all the good cornish folk who have always lived in the beautiful coastal areas? The clay towns are definitely a more deprived part of Cornwall but it doesn't make them more 'authentic ' than the coastal areas. Fwiw op I think a move to Cornwall will give you a much better quality of life.

Some nice properties

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