To ask emetophobic parents how they cope??

[Ames33]

I am an emetophobe and have written about it on here many times. I am currently doing the Thrive programme, having hypnotherapy and CBT but just can't beat it! I have tried so many therapies and spent thousands, it's bloody ridiculous!
So my question:
How the fuck to you emetophobic parents cope when your kids go to school??
My DS starts school in a couple of weeks, and I'm in a constant state of anxiety about it! I can't enjoy the experience as I am so worried about all the sickness bugs he will pick up!
Logically I know he could get a bug from anywhere, and I know I have dealt with them in the past, but the anticipatory anxiety is just killing me!
Do they get vomit bugs lots at school? How do you cope when they do?
I'm a mess and have seriously considered leaving because I don't want pass this onto him, and I also don't want to feel like this anymore!
So as not to drip feed, he has been going to nursery, but they would always let me know if there was any sickness around and I just wouldn't send him in (not helpful behaviour I know!)
I know I need to get this sorted and am trying so please don't make me feel worse about this than I already do!

Considering leaving? What do you mean by that?

Considered leaving my family

Bet you felt big and clever of yourself writing that didn't you Soosan?

I don't know any emetophobes. What is the fear of? Someone passing a sickness bug on to you, or of the vomit itself? Does every one worry about different things?

Telling someone with a phobia to "get over it" is like telling someone with depression to "cheer up".

There was no need for that @SoosanCarter.

I don't know what to suggest, OP, bit didn't want to let the above poster get away with her, frankly, stupid comment.

I cope by having an easily accessible sickness supply. So that's a sick bowl and babywipes
And some old hand towels and a pampers mat.
At "bad" times (when I know there are sick bugs doing the rounds) I have these items near my bed and able to grab. Other times they are in the upstairs bathroom. It helps me feel "prepared".
If a child seems unwell they come to bed with me and I have the bowl to hand (unseen by them). It helps me cope.
When they're actually unwell it is never ever as bad as my fears make it seem at other times. Does that make sense? I actually cope well with it. I often have an upset stomach as well and worry I have their bug but actually 9/10 it is just nerves. When I am sick I do feel sorry for myself. I'm pathetic really.

Oh, and now my littlest is at school I am trying to dampen the anxiety by thinking that when he gets unwell it's extra time at home with me because I miss him! So I will have a treat dvd handy to watch on sick days off so it's not so bad.

Counselling helped a little.

Sparkling, for me it is the fear of everyone else picking up the bug and me being unwell. So someone puking through drink or with morning sickness wouldn't phase me. As long as I know. Or else I'd assume they had a bug and feel terrified.
Mine stems from unresolved issues when having sickness during my chemo I think.

Thrive, As in le-vel thrive?

How's that supposed to help?

OP I'm emetophobic... my twins are 9 and have only had 3 or 4 bugs between them since they started school 5 years ago! Whenever I hear about a bug going round I get really agitated, dreading them catching it etc. The thing I feel really bad about is that I'm not worried about their health as much as catching it myself. But really, it doesn't happen as often as I thought it would.

But in answer to your question, I cope by getting on with it at the time, and afterwards adopting all of my crazy safety behaviours. Previous CBT therapists have suggested letting go of my safety behaviours - but I won't!!

Ah ok Isadora so for you it's the bug thing and you getting it, not the actual puking itself. And the chemo connection makes sense as it takes you back to memories you would rather avoid thinking about.

Nobody isn't repulsed by vomit.

When my DC got sick I felt really sickened by it. I bagged up sheets and put them straight in to black bags and just knotted and binned.

I am a severe Emetephobic too, and I totally understand how you are feeling. It is terrifying and debilitating and utterly fucking hideous.

I have been Emetephobic since the age of 7. My fear got better as I got older but upon having children, it has returned with a vengeance and for the reasons that you give.

Happy for you to PM me.

and unmumsnetty hugs

To be honest I hold my breath, clear it up if DH isn't around then throw up myself. I hate it, I get cold sweats and shakes but just accept that it's going to happen! Oddly it helps me to know that it will happen so I just get on with it.
for you, it's awful xx

I'm an emetophobe. Thankfully my dc are rarely sick. It's San unwritten rule in our family that No. One. Gets. Sick. I've lived in fear of norovirus for years, but thank God it hasn't happened.
On our holiday this year dd 1 got sick. I was a bit hysterical, thinking noro (we were on a cruise, and I was worried about going on a cruise because of norovirus, manic about hand sanitation) but the rest of us were fine and think it was sunstroke. Nevertheless, I had a very tense 24 hrs, and TH had to calm me down a lot! I managed to look after her, though, and I explained to the kids why I got so stressed, and that it was silly, but something I can't control

These soluble laundry bags (www.win-health.com/soluble-laundry-bags.html) are good for just chucking the soiled clothing/bedding into & straight in the wash. I don't have a phobia of bodily fluids, but I have an adult DS who has severe reflux. These ones are a bit pricey but they were on the first link I found to share.

Thanks everyone, sorry I fell asleep!
I'll have a proper read through tomorrow when I'm less bleary eyed! X

I think I fear the mess and the fact that we might catch it and all the family will have it and it would be awful! Catastrophic thinking I know!
I'm just a mess and don't know how to get over it. Every time I hear the word sick I freak out.
The Thrive programme is a programme called Cure you emetophobia and thrive. It's good and lots have cured themselves with it but I'm finding it really hard!
I guess I will just have to take it day by day and see how I get on!

Have you tried the DARE technique? There's a book about it by Barry McDonagh. I saw it recommended on MN a while back and it is amazing. I have a phobia very similar to emetophobia, a specific situational phobia. I had spent literally thousands on CBT, NLP, hypnosis, you name it but nothing worked very well. I had got to the point I could manage it, whereas right in the grip I found it hard to leave the house. So I thought, what the hell, I'll spend a fiver on this book and give it a go - it's the best thing I ever did. You have to work at it, but I have got to the stage where I would say confidently I am 90% cured. I can fly, go to the theatre, have meetings at work totally comfortably, whereas I would have been a trapped sweaty mess previously. I hope you find something that works for you.

I have it! Luckily my son is very very rarely ill. He has packed lunch, so he doesn't have to eat food touch by others. Cutlery is provided from home. And hand gel is left in his lunch bag to use before hand.

I instilled the value of hand washing early, and tell the school. Home school support worker, Is a god send.

Im on edge in bug season, and have been known to call the school before lunch to ask them to remind him to wash his hands. If there is a case of sickness in his class he is off.

I hate it and get really worried about others getting it. I used to cope when ds was little by double lining a bowl with plastic bag and kitchen paper then once he'd puked I could tie a knot in it and put it straight outside in the bin. Then wash my hands !

Worked well as it wasn't getting spread round the bathroom.

I found they got more sickness bugs at nursery therefore it wasn't as bad when they hit primary age.

@LittleBooInABox how long do you keep them off for if there is sickness at school?
I'm just so anxious about it im tempted to home school! Although could never do this as husband wouldn't agree!

You really must not keep your child off school unless they're sick themselves or they'd never be at school . Not fair on your child and actually if you start that malarkey you could end up with a visit to find out what's going on.

You should be looking into CBT or some other form of help if you find yourself keeping your child off of school on the off chance they will catch something.

Not emetophobic, but have 2 kids at primary school. Daughter (8) has never had a sick bug. Son (6) has had maybe 1 a year, since he was at pre-school.

School doesn't mean they're going to be coming home with dreadful diseases twice a week.